cogitations

tagalog for Google

2009-10-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

last night, i just found out the tagalog term for Google. and upto this moment, i can't get over it. (some irrelevant parts of the conversation was removed)

tea (10/21/2009 3:28:22 AM): nagulat ako.. bglang nagpaste sya ng link

barn (10/21/2009 3:28:27 AM): link ng?

tea (10/21/2009 3:28:40 AM): un pla ginogool nya ung..

barn (10/21/2009 3:28:51 AM): =))

...

barn (10/21/2009 3:29:41 AM): alam ko na ngayon ang tagalog ng google

tea (10/21/2009 3:29:48 AM): anu?

tea (10/21/2009 3:29:51 AM): gogool?

tea (10/21/2009 3:29:53 AM): bwahahahahahaha

barn (10/21/2009 3:29:55 AM): =))

my birthday wish list 2009

2009-09-13T14:39:00.001+08:00

this will be a very easy list.. but somehow difficult to think about. i'm thinking about very simple things.. Ü

custom nameplate silver necklace - this was made famous by "sex in the city" through the "carrie necklace". i would also want one for myself and i haven't found any boutique that make such.. i'm still not sure if i want a "barn" or a "laarni" necklace. but i'm leaning towards the latter

brelli umbrella - i know i'm allergic to umbrella's but i guess the ones on the list would not make me squirm. yes, this is not the only umbrella on the list. this one looks like a japanese/chinese umbrella. i like it because it's multi-ribbed and it's clear. i'm not sure how sturdy the materials are, if it is, go get me one! or perhaps there's a brelli umbrella made of metal.

clear umbrella - a brelli umbrella might be hard to find so, i'd settle for this one. but all or any umbrella on this list would just cure me from the phobia. Ü

clear bubble umbrella - maybe you would find not just a simple clear umbrella. i would want the bubbly one!

color spectrum umbrella - the previous items are all clear umbrellas. you might think i don't like color. well, i don't. i like colorS! so, maybe i'm not really allergic to umbrellas. i just haven't found the one that i really like.

ice age trilogy - the first one was hilarious! and i didn't get to see the second one. so, i decided not to watch the third one. but i really really want to see these movies! so, it would be great if i would have the whole trilogy. vcd or dvd would do!

gossip girl complete season 2 dvd - i have seen the complete season one and some of the season two episodes but it's not complete. since i celebrate my birthday on the month that tv shows premiere their new season, i would want a copy of the complete season two and see what happens to the teens of the upper east side. xoxo

grey's anatomy complete season 5 dvd - i have been a fan of this tv series since it began. and it has been a long wait for season 5 to end. since it's again september, they're airing a new season and i need to get the one that just finished.

desperate housewives complete season 4 and 5 dvds - i recently got hooked to this tv series and for a couple of weeks this was the only show i was watching on tv. restie bought it and the dvds for seasons 4 and 5 are not working properly, so my marathon came to a halt and i'm left wanting more. the women of wisteria lane are so entertaining.

jon and kate plus 8 complete season 1-4 and the latest of season 5 - i know that their separation made TLC stop airing the episodes, but i still love the kids and what jon and kate used to have and how they were able to survive until last month. i haven't seen any store selling the series due to their popularity now. how sad that they became more popular when tragedy came upon them. poor kids.

that's my list for this year. i want umbrellas (still hate rain), necklace, and a bunch of dvd's.

i also started a new blog this month. check out personality barn. it's filled with personality quizzes we love to take. and i'm still picking a name for another blog that would a little less personal than my entries here.

i have always believed that i'm jinxed and more during this time of the year. so, i'm keeping my fingers crossed. i would be spending most of the day at work, then, with tin, then with my family. hope it would be a good one!

Project Laptop: COMPLETED!

2009-09-05T06:47:00.000+08:00

my dad gave me my laptop back in november 2007. it got broken sometime before september 2008. i was able to get it back, working but with a faulty battery, june 2009. and having a faulty battery meant that it only works for about 5 minutes without being plugged to an outlet. so, it's not really as portable as a laptop should be.

so the first task is to buy a working battery for my laptop. and it was really hard looking for it in coputer stores in malls. we tried greenhills but it would take 2 weeks to 2 months, since it needs to be ordered. dell's service centers are of no help. the numbers i have tried calling kept on transferring me to a department where no one answers. other authorized dell dealers have the simillar wait time.

we fould one store or booth in SM North Edsa who repairs laptops and we could order the battery, the wait time is about 3 days. i held back. i forgot why but most probably it's because of how much it is.

we weren't able to reach gilmore. we were so tired already going from mall to mall and asking from shops to shops.

i then, asked my cousin, since he owns a buy and sell site (pinoybuynsell.com), he may know someone selling laptop batteries. eBay doesn't have any available for my laptop brand and model (dell lattitude d620). he recommended that i check TipidPC.com and there i fould someone selling laptop batteries and specifically having my brand and model on the list! it's for Php 4,000.00 and they have a store at St. Francis Square! the store is named HotToyz and they carry a lot of replacement laptop batteries. and it's a good thing they have one for me readily available! thus, no more hassle of waiting for days, weeks and months! after buying the battery, we went to the mall (of course), and i tried it out. viola! my laptop is now portable!

after settling the biggest issue, i considered Project Laptop to be 50% complete. the next steps would be to get a laptop bag that doesn't look like a laptop and a prepaid broadband internet service provider. and i'm all set.

while we were searching for a battery, we were also looking at the malls for a good looking laptop bag. and whenever i find something to my taste, i would look at the price tag and it would range from Php 3,000 - 5,000! and no, i don't think i have the heart nor the wallet to be able to buy a bag of such extravagance. so, tin, the one who is more addicted to eBay than i am, was searching for a bag for me. then, she found this seller that points to a Multiply site where the gallery of laptop bags are. and the price showing on eBay is just Php 1,000. so, i went to check out BrattyBonita. and their laptop bag designs are very much to my liking! they really don't look like a laptop bag at all. i asked tae to pick up a design for me. she said, that there are too many bags and she's too lazy to look for the laptop bags. to her surprise, i told her, "all the bags there are laptop bags!" so, she searched the site and recommended a number of laptop bags for me. she picked out 5 designs. they were on sale last august so, i was able to get some discount on a bag. thinking about how much bags these good costs in malls, i bought two! one that's sort of sporty and one that's a bit formal. and but still not looking like a laptop bag at all! i was able to get both bags for the price of one if you buy it from a store.

at almost the same time, cha offered to sell me his broadband prepaid kit. and as i researched, it's the cheapest among those who offer the same service. thus, cogitations is now powered by Sun Cellular!

my laptop is now portable. i could carry it without being obviously carrying a laptop and i can go online! yipee!

HELP!

2009-09-03T21:24:00.000+08:00

friends, i need your input! please give me one adjective to describe me.. Ü i'm thinking of starting a new blogsite. not as personal as my inputs here.. but pretty much simillar but on a more public note. i can't seem to crack the perfect word.. so i just need one adjective.. hopefully less than four syllables.. thanks!

watching the three penny opera with lea salonga

2009-08-30T08:20:00.005+08:00

august 16, 2009

on my quest to continually add art in my life, after watching a number of plays and independent films, and in celebrating the fact that i found a partner who appreciates this type of art, i ached to watch a musical.

in one of tin's e-mail groups, onyl torres, sent out an invite to watch "the three penny opera". since we are only available on weekends, we have scheduled ourselves to watch the play on its last run.

i was so excited since i can no longer remember when was the last time i watched a musical ( i don't really consider noli at fili to be one).

we also invited kiki to join us in watching the play, because i know for a fact that she would enjoy such performance.

the play was held in Peta Theater and since it's very much accessible for us, there was no reason for us to miss it.

until the morning of august 16 were we able to reserve tickets and know the time the house opens.

after a day of shopping (weeeee!), we went back to tin's place and headed to peta theater to meet up with kiki.

i remember the benefits of watching the last run of a play. everything has been polished and the actors would be giving it all they've got. i sort of forgot the fact that famous people would be around too.

while waiting for the house to be open, we already spotted some famous faces. like those who star in independent films, stage plays.. and those i remember the name. like no less than mr. mabesa.

i thought it was production by peta, but later found out that it's a production of "a world theater project" . of course we got a copy of the production book and when we skimmed through the pages, goosebumps started to appear! well, it was ignited a little by mr. mabesa, but when i saw the names of the cast, i was already sooo excited and can't wait for the musical to start.

they asked us, those who were waiting to watch the play to fall in line since the house is about to open. there were people seated on the benches near the table. we just bought the production book for kiki so, we were very much near the door. mr. mabesa and his friends were standing in front of us and in front of them was the door. we wanted to get great seats so, instead of going to the back of the line of benches, we just sticked to being at the end of mr. mabesa's party. thus, we had the best seats! well, mr. mabesa and company occupied the first row of seats after the monoblock chairs, and we went to get the row behind him, which is a little more elevated so his height won't be a bother.

House music was played live. There was this guy playing the accordion and after some time he was missing fingers! I can’t find his name in the production book, but I’m sure he is mentioned there somewhere. I don’t know anyone who knows how to play it, so it already had me amazed. And playing it with less than ten fingers?! I was simply blown away.

So, as we enjoy the house music and the oohs and aahs as we flip through the production book, kiki grabbed me and said, “si lea salonga ba yun?” (is that lea salonga?) I looked at the direction she was gasping and way and behold! The great ms. Lea Salonga is just a few feet away from us. When I saw her she was standing in front of the last row of monoblock chairs in front of mr. mabesa and saying hellos. We wanted to stand up and extend our hands as well! I told tin that lea salonga’s here, since she is as much as a fan as I am, if not more. Then, we were all gushing. Starstruck. And that doesn’t happen often. Kiki even had a hard time breathing. My knees were weak and I could barely feel my legs (aside from the fact that it’s really cold).

Then, we heard mr. mabesa told lea that there are better seats than where she was initially seating. Lea didn’t really mind. But tony insisted. He ofcourse could not offer his seat and his row is already full. Then he turned around and saw that the seat beside tin was empty and asked if there was someone seated there. I froze. There’s the possibility that tin would be sitting beside lea salonga! But she was with her mom and there’s only one vacant seat. Tony then asked the guy after the vacant seat to move. He initially moved to the vacant seat beside tin, but then tony said that he move the other way. Lea and her mom was already seated but since mr. mabes insisted that they get better seats, they stood up and went to the seats beside us! At that point, I was frozed and stopping myself from screaming, “Oh my God!” we tried very hard not to show how starstruck we were. So, we were not really looking. Then, it was her mom that seated beside tin. So, if you are on the stage, from your right, kiki, then me, tin, lea’s mom and then, lea salonga! The house music even changed to, “on my own”. I guess to honor her presence.

And the play haven’t even started yet!

With a cast that will blow you away, the expectation was so high, and of course, they didn’t fail to meet or even exceed one’s expectation. Even lea’s.

When it was time to sing the national anthem, for me the least thing you could do for your country is to honor and respect whenever the national anthem is played and proudly sing it. And I know for a fact that lea salonga would be singing it. So, as I was singing, I went a little bit closer to tin to be able to hear her. I even looked at her direction to check if it was really her that I hear. And I saw her hand on her chest rising and falling. She’s singing! Live! Almost beside me! And she really has an amazing voice, that I would just dream of having.

She recently sang “ang bayan ko” during mrs. Aquino’s funeral and I was just as awed.

So, on to the play..

To simply put it (spoiler alert), it’s a story of a known crook that has a number of women in his life and is in ties with the police, so he gets away with things, but eventually his criminal ways would lead him to prison and then he would be sentenced to hang. But would be pardoned by the queen.

There were a few inconsistencies but I’m not 100% sure, it would need research and since this write up is long overdue and the musical was really awesome, I could let it slip.

These are the names that has blown me away while skimming through the production book: Ricci Chan and Bituin Escalante.

Ever since Zsa Zsa Zathurnahh, I have been a fan of Ricci Chan on stage. And as lea said, everytime he comes up on stage, it’s hilarious! He really is a brilliant stage actor.

This is the first musical that I have seen that Bituin Escalante is a part of. So, when I saw the production book, I was surprised that in the list of the actors and their credentials, all she had under her name was her role. And apparently, as kiki said, she’s always like that. She didn’t have here theater escapades printed after her name and role. I’m still not decided if it’s a sign of arrogance, but sure enough, her name, picture and the role that she would portray would be more than enough.

There are a lot of things you learn when you get the production book. Although you would usually have students buying it for their papers. So, here’s the few things I picked up:

Kalila Aguilos is Bituin Escalante’s sister! She was the villain during the run of Zsa Zsa that I was able to watch. And Bituin was also watching with us. We heard that Bituin has a sibling that was part of the musical. So, we were looking among the townsfolk because we didn’t find anyone from the cast that looks like her. And aside from their difference in their looks, they play totally different characters which is totally cool! And their song was really amazing.

The person who played MRS. Peachum is a man! Cholo Gino really played the part well. And his singing voice didn’t seem to have a hint of masculinity. I needed to flip through the production book with the house lights off just to check his name.

The whole cast was brilliant. The production was really good. The stage was not boring. They used the simillar set up of the stage at the Peta Theater with “Noli at Fili: dekada mil dos”. But, again, who would need a fabulous stage if you have a great cast? Their voices were amazing and their acting superb.

The musical ran for, I believe more than 2 hours and not a single second was boring. So, standing O to the cast and production team of the “The Three Penny Opera”! Watching it with lea salonga or not, the play was fantabulous!

creamy tuna pasta

2009-08-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

this is very easy. i can say that because i was able to make it! bwahahahahah!

from: http://www.ehow.com/how_2133918_cook-creamy-tuna-pasta.html

Creamy Tuna Pasta

Things You'll Need:
2 cans canned tuna in water
1 small onion, chopped
6 garlic cloves, chopped
1 small can nestle cream
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup butter
3 tbsps olive oil
1 lb cooked pasta, any kind

Instructions
Saute garlic and onions in olive oil and butter. After a couple of minutes, add canned tuna, nestle cream, cheddar cheese and cream of mushroom soup. Simmer for about ten minutes. Add cooked pasta, any kind you want.Add to sauce. Turn off the heat and you're done.

i used spicy tuna in oil, since tin wants it spicy. i just drained the oil from it. it would not be as spicy, because of the oil drained, but there a very small hint of it being spicy when you eat the tuna.

tin loved it! Ü

Make Someone Happy with a Barn

2009-08-05T06:53:00.003+08:00

: Go to: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi
:: Put your name in, and generate slogan after each question.

1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
- It's How Barn is Done.
*ayun! alam na nangyari kagabi.. bwahahahah!

2. What do you want other people say about you?
- Is it Live, Or is it Barn?

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
- I'm not just the Barn, I'm a member.
*arteh pa!?

4. How would you answer a booty call?
- It could be Barn.
*hmmmm...

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
- Where do You Want Barn to Go Today?
*uto-uto po..

6. to someone you dislike?
- Silly Rabbit, Barn is for Kids.
*silly rabbit ang mga dislike ko.. bwahahahaha!

7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
- You can be Sure of Barn.
*hindi rin.. heheheh!

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
- Ding-Dong! Barn Calling!

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
- You're Never Alone with a Barn.

10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
- We're Always Low Barn.

11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
- We'll Leave the Barn On for You.

12. Someone told you you're an asshole, you tell them...
- The Loudest Noise Comes from the Electric Barn.

13. What are the best words to describe you?
- Solutions for a Small Barn.

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
- Absolut Barn.

15. Your last words before you die...
- Race for the Barn.
*in tagalog, sa aking kamatayan.. habulin nyo ko! bwaahahahahahh!

16. Your message to a special someone..
- Did Somebody Say Barn?

17. Title of this post will be...
- Make Someone Happy with a Barn.
*naman!

noli at fili: dekada 2000 (dos mil)

2009-07-24T20:50:00.004+08:00

tin and i watched the play of her friend at the PETA theater this afternoon. i always enjoy a dose of art whenever i can. it's a treat if it's a straight play performed by great artists.

it's my first time to watch a play at the PETA theater since i used to consider qc to be far away. there were a lot of high school students watching. well, based on their attitude and reaction towards the show, they should be just high school students. yeah, even with the full make up and pumps.

i didn't mind sitting on mono block chairs. i came for the show and it's not really uncomfortable.

looking at the set during open house got me excited. seeing a spiral staircase at the right and another stairs at the left and a hanging platform. i got excited with the options and the blocking.

i'm not really that nationalistic, but i have grown to love and appreciate the national anthem. and whenever it would be played and we would need to stand up to give reverence, i would always sing. out loud. when we were asked to stand up, there was this disclaimer that this is their version so, i opted not to sing with it. but it was easy to follow and not really that far from the original and it's quite easy for me to follow. so, when the second stanza came i joined in. it might be because of the video playing or their version, but your would really feel the love for the country while hearing and specially singing it. it really did set the mood for the production.

but nothing prepared me for the first scene. it was the narration of a number of characters that experienced heavy rain and flood back in 2002. and my golly! it was really raining on stage! literally! how i would love to be part of that scene! the reaction you would show would be very easy because you are actually wet and it really is raining! there would be no need for real tears (since it's something i can't really do easily) since your face would already be dripping. maybe my expectation was really high because they are from PETA, but there are some points that seem to be lacking. one in particular would be the reaction once you realized that instead of holding your newly born baby, you are just clutching a bunch of wet cloth. it would not be as blank or as simple as showned.

since some roles alternates here's the ones we have seen perform:

Ron Alfonso as Chino Arao - i think he was the crowd's favorite. maybe because of his first role when he first appeared. but for me, i think he's really good and has the right reactions to what's happening and to what he is saying.

Jeff S. Hernandez as Mr. Turribio / Juanito Tan Pelaez - he reminds mo of macro's acting back in anatomiya days

Neomi Tabanao-Gonzales as Paulita Mijares and others - i would like to hear her sing

She E. Maala as Paulita Mijares - she's already losing her voice but she was still able to give justice to the character

Joel Molina as Basilio Pilapil and Joshua Deocareza as Isagani Magdangal - they're great actors. maybe i like joel more because when isagani grieved for juli's death, i thought there was something lacking.

Julia I. Enriquez as Clarissa Santos - since she's tin's friend and was the one who gave us the free tickets, i should just shut up right? but i can't. since i've already seen her in maliw during this year's virgin labfest i can't sort of spot the difference aside from the costumes. it was still her. at her second scene, it was obvious that she was acting. that what she was doing is far from who she really is. it's not that natural. well, as tin explained, she's hates those kind of people in the first place so it must be something she was dreading to do. we were also wondering why during the scenes that would require her to be slapped, pushed and/or pulled, they were faking it. after the show we learned that alleyne had an operation. she wasn't even able to join the last run of maliw. all in all, she's still good.

Paolo Rodriguez as Kumander Elias - i hated him during his first few scenes. then, the more action and the less words and/or acting that would require of him, you would eventually just conclude that he's okay. i almost forgot that i don't really like his skills. maybe because i get to confirm the whiff i got during his last few moments on stage.

Kuya Bodjie as Bishop Damaso Villareal - it was good to finally see him act on stage on a play. he did not disappoint me but he did not go beyond my expectations either. which, really made me curious as to how Bembol Roco would have played the character.

Jack Yabut as Coronel Salvi Salvatierra - being a senior in theater, he did not disappoint me as well. you would feel everything that he wants to make you feel about the character. but i was really excited when i saw in the programme that Robert Seña also plays the role of Salvi. i really really want to see Robert Seña act on stage.and knowing his capabilities and the character actor that he is, Salvi's character would be totally awesome.

Lex Marcos as Mayor Ibarra Marasigan/Kumander Simoun - here are the questions i asked while i watch him perform: why him? was it because of his looks? doesn't he look too old? what was he saying? why that face? what was he really feeling? the audience laughed (after he cursed salvi, the first time), was it because he was trying to be funny? did it really hurt when clarissa died? then, the last scene came and he sang the song. i went, aaahhhh... i hope everyone would be able to stay until the last part to see this. but, his co-actors are really good, so, they would stay. but not because of him.

here are some random thoughts about the play:

i liked the video projections maybe 70% of the time.
the blockings of the first few scenes were liked unrehearsed.
it would be nice if victorina's wig was red.
i would love to watch it again with the other set of cast and with a more mature audience.
everytime a gun fires, i would flinch a little, scream a little.
it would be nice to have seen soxie.
cool story.
there was this line, i think it was ad lib, when they were referring to the bomb that will be used to massacre all those in paulita's wedding, a character said that it will be stronger than that of the one used in glorietta. in the play, the flood happened in 2002, act 1 happened a year after that (2003) and act 2, three years after. this would make that scene at the most, 2006. the explosion in glorietta happened in 2007.

i love watching plays. i have been out of the stage for a long time now and i'm no longer confident that i would receive the same response i get whenever the curtains go up. so, all due respect to these artists and those who keep the stage alive. expectations could be higher for those in the professional theater groups. you can't help it but expect nothing less but the best. some may fall short, but it's still a dose of art. from the house music until the curtain call ends the tingling sensation running up and down my spine is still there.

kudos to the cast and everyone behind noli at fili: dekada 2000 (dos mil)!

nice rest

2009-07-23T20:56:00.004+08:00

i have promised myself that for 2009 i would not go on leave without anything planned for that day. i broke it last night. and it felt good!

it was really one hell of a week and i badly needed the rest. thus, out of the blue i blurted out this idea of going on leave for the second half of my shift. it may not be as wise because i would still need to go to the office. but it's really nice to have to rest. i can't bring myself to abandoning work really, so, going on half-day is not really a bad idea entirely. i get to rest and i still get to soothe the workaholic in me.

since the company is cutting down on some costs and our managers higly recommend that we go on leave so, my supervisor agreed even though it was just short notice.

i planned on having a desperate housewives marathon but after a few minutes or at most an hour, i was already sleeping! so, i resumed watching the dvds after my at least 8-hour sleep. and it felt like the longest sleep i had in a long time. then, after finishing the third season and failing to make the dvds for season four and five play, i started watching the private practice marathon.

i really felt bad that i was unable to finish watching desperate housewives. i had so much fun watching the series and i so want to see what happened next. although i already read the seasons' synopsis i would still want to see how exactly it turned out to be.

private practice is also good. it's just too emotional for me and not much fun as desperate housewives. it's like every episode was supposed to make me cry but i just don't want to. but still good. and i would be watching the series still if i have the time. i just wouldn't have much difficulty in pressing stop and eject.

the bottom line is, i enjoyed the extra 4 hours that i don't need to be up and about working. maybe, specially if i get tired and pressured again, i would be doing it again.

rest is good. this would keep me from quitting. not that i have plans to. at least in the near future.

a match

2009-07-22T21:18:00.003+08:00

okay, i would be telling a lie if i would say that this is the first time. but, i would say i'm surprised to have found someone who is actually my match.

i'll try not to make this as cheezy as possible, but is this something i could really help? so, for those who's not a fan of cheezy stuff (which i normally am and would probably be if i'd get my heart broken or something) the first line should have blown you off already. and for those who are glad to see me happy, read on.

i used to believe that conceiving who your match is would be someone that you "think" is your match. you come up with the ideal picture of what kind of person your perfect partner would be and then you say to yourself, he/she is your match. then, you get to meet that ideal person and at some point you realize, that you're not really a match because not everything we want is good for us.

i don't really want to gloat. i'm just really happy to have someone in my life right now that makes me smile a lot. someone who makes me feel secure and everyday i know that i'm loved.

nothing's really perfect but i can get through the days that would usually bring the Hagrid in me without breaking a sweat. and though we have our differences and they don't really complement, we still manage to see through it. we don't really ignore it, but we discuss it so that it would not really be a big deal next time.

i guess, the greatest reason why i say that we are a match is because of the things we both like to enjoy. we have the same enthrallment with the things that i really love. and it's really hard to have a partner that enjoys the things that you do and vice versa. i didn't need to like/learn something new but we are both open to such options, and it's fun learning stuff together with someone.

so far, my friends have nothing against her. well, at least that's what i know. well, my great friends don't talk behind my back. and i have no problems hanging out with them with her. i can leave the room and i know she and my friends would be okay.

i'm really just so happy for the past months and officially for the past weeks. all i wanted was to be able to smile again, but i got more.. so, much more.

thank you, tin.

50 FIRST REACTIONS

2009-06-24T06:32:00.000+08:00

This is called the "50 FIRST REACTIONS".

Just simply type what comes to your mind "FIRST" whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think twice and don't go back to change your first answer. It really doesn't matter how random your answer may be, just type it!

There's no wrong answer.

1. Beer: Red Horse

2. Food: chicken

3. Relationships: tin

4. Your CRUSH: tin

5. Power Rangers: red

6. Life: rainbow

7. The President: chiz

8. Yummy: peanut butter

9. Cars: cartoons

10. Movie: transformers

11. Halloween: scary

12. Sex: hahahahaha!

13. Religion: regrets

14. Hate: cats

15. Fear: kiki

16. Marriage: gone

17. Blondy: dumb

18. Slippers: puffy house slippers

19. Shoes: stilletos

20. Asian: food

22. Internet: IE

23. My Cell Phone: new

24. Smoke: pot

26. College: graduate

27. High school life: dumb

28. Pajamas: tin

29. Stars: heaven

30. Fitness Center: no!

31. Alcoholic: beverage

32. The word love: true

33. Friends: life

34. Money: gone

35. Heartache: always there

36. Time: to go home

37. Divorce: happens

38. Dogs: love!

39. Undies: smelly

40. Parents: oblivious

41. Babies: cute

42. Ex: wrath

43. Song: tin

44. Color: green

45. Weddings: no!

46. Pizza: sarap!

47. Hangout: playground

48. Resto: rant..

49. Goal: globe

50. Inspiration: life

a place formerly used to find out about slang

2009-06-21T20:28:00.000+08:00

INSTRUCTIONS: Go to and www.urbandictionary.com type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the definition it gives you.

1. Your name? laarni

laarni isn't defined yet.

2. Age? 25

A certian amount of hash. around about 10 inches long and as thick as the lead for pencils.

3.One of your friends? kiki

slang term for womens genitals in the Filipino language

4. What should you be doing? having dinner

last and most formal meal of the day; prelude to a fuck

5. Favorite colour? green

yes... it is most definitely referring to the marijuana... and also, upon occassion, any substance with similar uses. too, properly, of course, it is a golfing term, but that;s really not very much fun, now is it?

6. Favorite number? five

to five someone is to replace a real number in your phone number with the number 5 when you don't really want to give out your number

7. Month of your birthday? september

A wonderful month when the air smells sweet and the weather is perfect for the girls where to tight little sweaters that show off their curves.

8. Last person you talked to? naomi

An exotically splendid name for people of the female gender. The name is given to children who display unparalled beauty and intelligence. The name has also been known to be given to children that display Goddess-like qualities that surpass all mortal knowledge.

9. One of your nicknames? barn

adjective used to reinforce the idea that something is completely awesome, surprising, out of control, rediculous. it does what those words can't.

10. What are you wearing now? pajamas

pajamas, or PJs for short, these are the clothes you wear to bed. They are often flannel and really comfy. Some silly girls wear them during the day because they think it's cool. Pajamas are generally fun to wear.

Get to know yourself better

2009-06-21T19:05:00.002+08:00

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Open this website : http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
2. Take the Personality Quiz (it's VERY short and easy, really)
3. Copy Paste the result to Facebook.
4. Tag your 20 friends.

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Guilty or Innocent?

2009-06-11T07:27:00.003+08:00

RULE 1
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
(So people reading this, if you want an explanation.. comment.)

Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 20 of your friends to answer this. Then see what happens.

--

Asked someone to marry you?
- innocent

Kissed one of your Facebook friends?
- guilty

Danced on a table in a bar?
- innocent

Ever told a lie?
- Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back?
- guilty

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
- guilty

Kissed a picture?
- guilty

Slept in until 5 PM?
- Guilty

Fallen asleep at work/school?
- guilty

Held a snake?
- guilty

Been suspended from school?
- Innocent

Worked at a fast food restaurant?
- Innocent

Stolen from a store?
- innocent

Been fired from a job?
- guilty

Done something you regret?
- guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
- guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
- Innocent

Kissed in the rain?
- innocent

Sat on a roof top?
- innocent

Kissed someone you shouldn't?
- guilty

Sang in the shower?
- guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
- innocent

Shaved your head?
- innocent

Slept naked?
- guilty

Had a boxing membership?
- innocent

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
- guilty

Been in a band?
- guilty

Shot a gun?
- innocent

Donated Blood?
- innocent

Eaten alligator meat?
- innocent

Eaten cheesecake?
- guilty

Have/had a tattoo?
- innocent

Liked someone, but will never tell who?
- guilty

Been too honest?
- Guilty

Ruined a surprise?
- guilty

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can't walk afterwards?
- guilty

Erased someone in your friends list?
- guilty

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if your a guy) or man's clothes (if your a girl)?
- guilty

Joined a pageant?
- innocent

Had communication w/ your ex?
- guilty

Dating Someone?
- guilty

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?
- guilty

A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney fare?
- guilty

Get totally angry that you cried so hard?
- guilty

100 truths

2009-06-10T07:26:00.003+08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage --> water
2. last phone call --> sa agent.. not following break schedules.. hahahaha!
3. last text message --> charley
4. last song you listened to --> di ko na maalala..
5. last time you cried --> di ko na maalala yung exact date.. pero naaalala ko pa..

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice --> yup
7. been cheated on -- > a norm in my life
8. kissed someone & regretted it --> hmmm... it would be unfair to say yes..
9. lost someone special --> yup
10. been depressed --> yup
11. been drunk and threw up --> yup yup yup!

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. green
13. blue
14. purple

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend --> yup
16. Fallen out of love --> didn't really reached the point of of falling in..
17. Laughed until you cried --> kapag kasama si kiki!
18. Met someone who changed you --> wala akong maisip
19. Found out who your true friends were --> medyo matagal ko nang alam.. before pa mag 2009
20. Found out someone was talking about you -- > lagi namang meron.. hahahah!
21. Kissed anyone on your fb friend's list --> yup

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life --> almost all.. i think..
24. Do you have any pets --> si tin..
25. Do you want to change your name --> nope
26. What did you do for your last birthday --> a lot and none at the same time
27. What time did you wake up today --> haven't slept yet
28. What were you doing at midnight last night --> sending the service level update for 12:00
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for --> happier times
30. Last time you saw your Mother --> Sunday, a little after 2:00 PM
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life --> being jinxed..
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom --> tom jones! hahaha! may churchmate ata kaming tom pero di ko talaga sya maalala.. sorry po!
34. What's getting on your nerves right now --> right now, wala naman..
35. Most visited webpage --> multiply, facebook, google, blogger
37. Nicknames --> barn, and other variations.. hehehhe!
38. Relationship Status --> single, as of this writing..
39. Zodiac sign --> virgo

40. Male or female? --> female
41. Elementary --> Zion Center of Knowledge School and Jesus Is Lord Christian School
42. High School --> Jesus Is Lord Colleges Foundation
43. College --> Mapua Institute of Technology

44. Hair colour --> dark brown raw
46. Height --> 5'2"
47. Do you have a crush on someone? --> yup..
48: What do you like about yourself? --> shows grace under pressure.. bwahahahah!

49. Piercings --> left and right ear.. corny..
50. Tattoos --> wala pa
51. Righty or lefty --> righty..

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery --> none, i think..
53. First piercing --> see number 49
54. First best friend --> Kuya P
55. First sport you joined --> piko
56. First vacation --> bulacan kasi sa batangas ako nakatira nung baby..
58. First pair of trainers --> ano yun?! hahahahah!

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating --> ubos na
60. Drinking --> water
61. I'm about to --> fly
62. Listening to --> electricfan buzz
63. Waiting for --> breakfast with tin

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? --> nope
65. Get Married? --> yup
66. Career? --> Broadway actress

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes --> eyes
68. Hugs or kisses --> hugs
69. Shorter or taller --> taller
70. Older or Younger --> older

71. Romantic or spontaneous --> spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms --> stomach
73. Sensitive or loud --> pwede bang sensitive but loud? pwede naman yun di ba?
74. Hook-up or relationship --> relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant --> trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger --> hindi 100% na stranger.. or di ko sure.. hahahaha!
77. Drank hard liquor --> naman! syempre!
78. Lost glasses/contacts --> never had a pair
79. Sex on first date --> second? hahahaha!
80. Broken someone's heart --> i guess.. specially if you count the disappointments

81. Had your own heart broken --> naman! ever!
82. Been arrested --> not yet.. hihihihi!
83. Turned someone down --> yup..
84. Cried when someone died --> yup
85. Fallen for a friend? --> yup

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself --> huh? it depends..
87. Miracles --> yup
88. Love at first sight --> nope
89. Heaven --> yup
90. Santa Claus --> nope
91. Kiss on the first date --> yes, they happen.
92. Angels --> yup

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf? --> not at the same time
95. Did you sing today? --> just a little, mas magaling kasi yung katabi ko
96. Ever cheated on somebody? --> after being cheated on..
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? --> i'm not sure.. if the memory of what already happened would stay, i would go as far back as possible.. if not, wag na lang..
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? ---> walang 2008 para sakin
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? --> yup
100. Posting this as 100 truths? --> yup

what my heart used to dream of

2009-05-29T04:59:00.003+08:00

i have loved this song for a very long time now. and it's just that it never applied to my life.. ever.. until now.. Ü

For Once In My Life
Vonda Shepard

For once in my life
I have someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long
For once unafraid
I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong
For once I can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Could make my dreams come true
For once in my life
I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before,
For once I have something
what I know won't desert me
'Cause I'm not alone anymore
For once I can say
This is mine, you can't take it
As long as I've got love I've known I can make it
For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me

2009-04-29T20:12:00.002+08:00

it's time for my american idol post, but i decided to skip this week. there are things in life that are more exciting than a singing contest. unfortunately, i get to experience it..

i'm not really sure why i used the word "exciting" but that's what i have been hearing lately.

i felt sadness, but i know i'd live. not because of the current turn of events. maybe, even if it did not happen, i'd still be sad. and all for the good reasons. or at least, the reasons i wanted to have.

i didn't really hold on to her promise. for my almost 25 years of existence that promises grounded in feelings are tend to be broken. it's not that i expected that this would happen. she already exceeded my expectation in the first place. it's more of, i understood why it came to this. it's sad.. a little hurting.. but again, i'd live.

it's actually amazing that i myself was able to wait. not for this, but for the dealine i have set. thanks to all the people who have managed to cause me pain through the years. and i guess, at last i can say that i did learn a lesson.

unfortunately, there's another lesson i haven't learned. or i just can't listen to. i've been here, more than once. and whatever road i take, it would just lead to the same devastation. i don't want to think that this is something different. i have learned to expect the worst, but don't expect. i have learned to take things as simple as they are and to no longer add to the complications they already present.

i would not let go... as much as i can. i will let things flow, but i would not necessarily go with it. so, we'll see where this will take me. i bet nowhere.

MARK: "But what if you're wrong? Just this once, what if life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?"

American Idol Season 8 Notes 004

2009-04-22T22:52:00.002+08:00

i'm still trying to accept the fact that i would no longer hear or see scott sing in idol. i just can't sort of get why they saved matt and not scott. specially when simon said that he doesn't think that matt would win the competition. that's totally in contradiction as to what he said when he didn't want to save scott. i'm still playing scott's songs.

on to my comments for tonight's disco performance:

simon may be right with what he said about lil, but i like her vocal showcase on tonight's performance but ut seemed that her first note was wrong.

i still don't like kris, but i did like his performance.

danny sang a nice song and he executed it nicely as well. i had higher expectations when i heard i was singing something from earth, wind and fire.

for the past weeks i have commented about allison's pitched. i think it was right this time.

i don't know the song adam sang. i still don't like him. but i wasn't able to stop myself from saying out loud, "+@n9 !n@, ang taas ng boses ni bakla!"

for matt, i said, "bitin ang birit." he was almost out of breath.

i liked anoop's voice. his song was not too disco but it's okay for me.

so, two will go home tomorrow. i sure hope i could watch the show. since i'm going out tomorrow. i wonder who will be sent home. it just seems that allison, danny, adam and kris would be staying though.

American Idol Season 8 Notes 003

2009-04-16T04:05:00.002+08:00

i'm still mourning for the elination of scott.. so, please bear with me. last week, simon said that he doesn't want to save scott because there were other contestants better than him. but that's not what the save is for! that's why they can't use it with the top 5! and 2 would be out the following week in case they use the save! so, he should have thought about if there were other contestants worse than he was! and there are! or at least there is! hmpf! haaay.. i missed his voice this week and i can't help but wonder what he could have sung.

this week they did songs from the movies. i got excited since i love absorbing movies. i don't just watch them. i absorb them. if it's really good. if i have already seen a movie give at most 15 seconds into a scene and i will identify as to what movie that is. well, if it's really a good one.. hahaha!

it has been quite a while since the idols had someone to mentor them, and it's a good choice to have quentin tarantino this week. i like him because of kill bill. We have at home a DVD of Reservoir Dogs wherein he is also a member of the cast. Unfortunately, our copy stops in the middle (or was it the players fault). So, aside from Kill Bill, I haven't really seen any of his films. But so far, I like what I saw.

On to my reviews:

i thought it was the right song for allison. i still wanted a higher pitch for her at the start of the song, but all in all, for me, it was an awesome performance!
i like quentin's advice, but i think anoop only got 80% of the point he was trying to make. i wonder what simon thought of his performance.
adam showcased his vocal range. it was a total performance. i still don't like him, but "astig!" i love simon.. hahaha! but i like this one than last week's.
having the piano on the idol stage makes me miss scott. i didn't like matt's falsetto. his performance was nothing special for me.
while giving advice to danny, i liked quentin more and more. i think danny missed a note or two there and i too was bored with this performance.
i forgot about kris again! hahahah! i thought lil would be next and the last. i like the song he sang. he has a sweet falsetto. his performance was.. okay.
when i learned that they will be doing movie songs, i was thinking about what lil will be doing. i kind of wished for her to do listen or i will always love you or anything else from dream girls. i sort of don't like her anymore. i'm starting to agree with kat that it should have been her eliminated last week and not scott.

i no longer want to say who will go. i know that scott will not win, but i wanted to have him stay in the competition for more songs. i only have 6 songs in my playlist from him. i guess, he's very tired now. i've been playing those six songs since last week. ha! Ü

dvd weekend

2009-04-14T03:59:00.003+08:00

after friday shift.. ate faith was on leave.. UK was on holiday.. so, i'm off with charley.. not that he's the last choice or anything.. Ü

well, i was supposed to go home with ms. uy, but charley bribed me into having breakfast. i wanted to have maki, but since it was a holiday, the nearby japanese fast food was closed. so, we just went to the nearest coffee shop. i had 2 chunky chocolate cookies! Ü

oh! before that.. we passed by the dvd vendor beside our building and we looked at the dvds on sale. charley bought "coffee prince", the tagalized version and "slumdog millionaire".

if you are with charley, expect to burn all the calories you just took in by walking.. so, from the coffee shop we went to their place by foot! haaaay..

at about 8:00 AM we started to watch the korean television series. we were so entertained that we didn't notice the time went by. and even if we were up all night from shift, we managed to have our eyes open and absorb what was going on in the show until about 8:00 PM. well, charley go hungry and we had lunch. i'm not sure what time though. he had congee and i had vegetables and lechon.. yum! i slept in their couch. i was soo sleepy already.

the whole season was about 16-17 episodes, 1 hour each. we had about 8 or more episodes to ge before we decided to call it a night. the next day, we woke up at about 8 or 9 in the morning. we went to a "chinese restaurant" for break fast.. walked to and fro, of course.

then we went on and finished the series. Ü

it was fun watching it. of course, the sweet moments made us smile, laugh, and for me, almost cried.. there were actual tears from charley. and knowing the two of us, we can't help but share our P.O.V.'s on love and life. that part is actuall the funnest! hahahah! well, of course the kilig moments. Ü but we were pressing fast forward in some of the sooo mushy scenes!

then, charley wanted to cook lunch. so we went to the supermarket to get the needed ingredients for his spicy adobo. it was the first time i had adobo with a sting! Ü i ate like four cups of rice. and we had ice cream! Ü we watched the other dvd he bought the day before; slumdog millionaire. i have seen it already, but it was such a good movie that it's alright if i see it again

while waiting for him to cook i was reading his mangas. holicxxx in particular. and i continued reading it after eating.

then, he started washing his clothes and got fascinated with "pushing daisies". while i continue to read. until about 9 or 10 pm. then i fell asleep.

we had breakfast at jabee and i headed back home.. Ü

i wanted to post "cofee prince" quotes or at least have it in my IM handle but i can't seem to find the right site. so, i just opted to write what happened during the weekend.

i had fun and it's something i would like to do again. but i guess this would be one of the laid back weekends i would have until the end of may.. i can't wait to have my summer trips again! Ü

my IM handles: jan - march

2009-04-10T02:25:00.002+08:00

here are my IM handles so far for 2009.. Ü

JANUARY 2009

Laarni (*) - Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? - undeniably smiling.. - because of a certain person Ü
Laarni (*) - Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? - jinxed through and through - bad things happening.. can't remember what though..
Laarni (*) - Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? - back to reality - coming back from my iloilo trip

FEBRUARY 2009

Laarni (*) - Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? - going back to dream land - hahaha! can't remember why :P
Laarni (*) - Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? - impress h.i.m. - an "answer" to his IM handle

MARCH 2009

Laarni (*) - Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? - impress h.i.m. and stop my pc from crashing - same as above plus my pc kept on crashing :(
Laarni (*) - Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? - live through menstrual cramps - i had terrible cramps; i almost fainted
Laarni (*) - Dirrrrr-ect-tivvve? - ride the waves again.. soon! - after my surfing trip Ü

happy thoughts

2009-04-09T00:41:00.002+08:00

RULES:

1. Write 10 happy thoughts for the week.
2. Tag 10 persons in your contact.
3. Make sure you leave a comment in their site.

THOUGHTS:

1. i surfed! (this will be one of the happy thoughts for life! Ü)

2. i was able to sleep for about 12 hours straight last weekend!

3. was able to watch American Idol!

4. a lot of OT for this week (extra moolah)

5. ate at cyma with the akus kadi's

6. good tasting peanuts by mommy

7. was able to stay in the office working for 12 hours again.. after a long time..

8. exchange of text messages with eloi and mima

9. faye and chubs: "loser ung pet ko", "Pota mukhang saki ung pet ko, babae xa pero ung damit pang lalaki. Ahaha"

10. thinking things through.. making decisions.. Ü

i tagged:
anna nini, faye, kamole, dee, kat ni mae, ate kang, jug, saki, ton ton, amiel

American Idol Season 8 Notes 002

2009-04-08T21:24:00.003+08:00

now i have an excuse to write and entry every week.. heheheh!

tonight they did the songs that hit the airwaves at the year of their birth. very cute baby pictures were shown! ryan seacrest was sooo cute! they showed even the baby pictures of the judges! i can't pick which one's the cutest, but of course, being babies they were cute pics.. i'm not sure if simon's can really be defined as a baby picture because it seems that it was taken when he was already about 7 years old..

on to my performance reviews:

danny CAN sing! he did a very fun versin of "Stand By Me". i find his version cool!
it was as if kris was eating the words of the song. well, i'm not really familiar with the song he sang, so, i really barely understood it. i was wondering, what would his performance be like if he didn't have his guitar? i think it would be worse! hahahaha!
i love lil. i was born the same year she was! she's wearing a wig again! i get what the judges were telling her. i hope she gets it too. as much as i love her, i have to agree with the judges on this one. she's got such a great voice and everybody knows that already, so she needs to show something more in her performances..
when anoop started to sing, i said out loud, "what's he doing to his voice?" it's like that was the first time i heard him sing. well, it seems that that was the first time i heard him sing that way. and i like it! he should have been using that way of singing ever since! was it the song, i'm not sure.. but it's really more like a different manner of singing. different from his previous performances.
the moment the camera showed scott as he start to perform i said, "wow guitar!" i really love his voice sooo much! i had goosebumps! and i was almost in tears! but he had a little falsetto glitch.. it wasn't that suave..
i really like allison a lot. the song seemed too easy for her. she has a wonderful voice and i'm really wondering why she's always at the bottom 3.
when matt started the song, and i saw his attire.. it made me say, "ooohhh! so, this is his shot at being justin timberlake." he had a sweet falsetto.. sweet, not awesome. i like him.. like, not love. hahaha!
i'm really not a fan of adam. his performance was boring for me. and i don't like his high voice this time. i'm really wondering what the judges see in him. why stand? are they really out of time and that's the easiest comment?! haaay..

i'm really not sure who will be eliminated this week. but it's most likely that they will be saving someone this time. i was thinking about matt, but they sort of like him recently. i think they will give anoop a chance. they like allison as well, so, they will be saving her. danny and adam are their favorites. they know how good lil's voice is. they also like kris, but not so much this week. and they will save scott.. please! hahahaah! but even if they save someone this week, two will be eliminated next week.. wooooh! this is getting exciting! Ü

American Idol Season 8 Notes 001

2009-04-02T02:33:00.005+08:00

i originally didn't want to comment on this season's american idol. but i'm now able to watch it almost religiously, thanks to QTV Channel 11. so, hopefully, i'll be able to make it to the finals. like in season 5. so, here goes. the contestants picked the songs that are "popular itunes downloads". it's a very broad category, so, it's an opportunity for them to be really really good.

i don't like what anoop did. it's really wrong for him to pick an usher song when he can't really match his moves.
i got bored with what megan did. maybe because i already saw that last week.
i didn't like danny, but he was good tonight. he's got a great voice. and during his performance, i got goosebumps too!
i always loved allison. i just hoped her voice was higher. i wasn't able to notice her dress while performing, maybe because i really like her and was thinking about wishing her pitch was higher. but it did catch my attention during their entrance and thought that it would be simon saying, "what are you wearing?" again, i totally forgot the dress when she started singing.
i love scott as well. i really think he has a wonderful voice. i don't like his hairstyle tonight though.
matt a rockstar? maybe i liked it because i love the fray, but i was distracted about his movements. it was weird for me. i don't think his body movements were right.
i know the power of lil's voice. i think it has more power for a celine dion song. and i don't like the wigs! i admire women who can sport very short hair, so i hope she would stop wearing wigs.
i really don't like adam. but i can't help but admit that he's good.
i almost forgot about kris. and i didn't really find anything special about his performance. he's too good looking for his voice.

opinions only. everyone is entitled to their own.. even me! Ü

things to do before i die: surf.. check!

2009-03-31T08:32:00.001+08:00

woohoo! i still can't believe it! i went surfing last weekend! woohoo!

i was down because how things are going at work and i didn't have enough time to feel giddy and excited. (i'm workaholic that way.)

i didn't know what to expect. maybe because i know it has something to do with balance and it's something that i know i don't have! so, i was again being pessimistic and all, that i would just be making a big fool out of myself!

during the initial lesson, while the surf boards were in the sand, i already had the problem standing up! such a loser! so, i again thought, i won't be able to stand up once the boards go afloat.

there were two kinds of standing up: regular (left foot forward) and goofy (right foot forward) ( i referred to it "wacky", until they corrected me after a quiz from lemon). and guess what, ate peyt and lemon are both regular, and i'm wacky! i mean, goofy!

it was cool to learn some surfing terms, although, there was no lesson about it. it's just that the people that we are with made surfing their lifestyle thus they can't avoid using jargons.

we learned the parts of a surf board, it's different types, and of course the safety measures we should keep in mind.

we get to meet the surfing personalities of the philippines and they are the ones who showed us how to do it.

then, it was time to ride the waves. i of course was so scared since i can't swim that good. jason was kind enough to let me try even if it was not yet that deep.

lemon, as expected, was the first one who was able to stand up.. and then, believe it or not, me! woohoo! i felt the reason why people get addicted to it.. i got stoked! woohoo!

of course after that, i was shouting seemingly negative but really inspirational words to ate peyt so that she would not give up!

then, all of us were doing it! woohoo!

my arms started to hurt.. i know it's because of my weight. then, i can feel my abs working (uy! may abs!). then, my head start to hurt.. then i was getting a little dizzy.. i really wanted to ride some more, but i'm scared that i might faint in the middle of the beach! and i don't want to create a scene. so, we went ashore and i wanted to wait for them to finish, but the scorching heat was getting the best of me. i went back to the room drank my gatorade and laid down to try and feel better. after a couple of minutes i think i was fine.

after lunch we had another ride. unfortunately, the sunblock (even if it was already in the afternoon and there's really no need for it) made it slippery.. the waves are stronger that time as well.. and after a couple of slips, i bumped my right elbow and left knee a lot of times, we concluded that the board needed waxing. so, we went ashore.. before we were able to get the board waxed, the time was already up..

the next day, we went to charlie's point and saw how it's really done..

since i was able to do this, i can say almost anyone can..

i will definitely want to go for another ride on the waves.. soon! Ü

the unborn slumdog millionaire

2009-03-17T01:38:00.003+08:00

last week i was able to get to see these movies.. (as to where and how, some people would know but there are also some people i don't want to tell Ü)

¤ slumdog millionaire ¤

since it won best picture in oscar's i was nothing but curious. when the movie started, i said, "astig!" as the story line came to life. and as the movie went on.. i kept on saying that word.. and when i thought i knew how the story would end, it proved me wrong! so, all in all it really was a good movie and deserved winning the award. but it did not made me curious to see the other nominees. maybe because i don't really know what those movies are. or maybe the thought that they're losers, so, i don't think it would be any good. hahahahah!

trivia

The actor whose autograph young Jamal gets is Amitabh Bachchan. Amitabh Bachchan is a very real, and very famous Indian actor, the original host of the Indian version of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire", and also the father-in-law of Aishwarya Rai (or Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan as she is known after marriage).
Director Danny Boyle placed the money to be paid to the 3 lead child actors in a trust that is to be released to them upon their completion of grade school at 16 years of age. The production company has set up for an auto-rikshaw driver to take the kids to school everyday until they are 16 years old.
In the opening chase scene where Jamal and Salim jump down from a building to the ground is an reference to Danny Boyle's Trainspotting (1996) in which the main character Renton jumps down into the frame at a drug dealers to eventually overdose on heroin.
The current exchange rate for 20,000,000 Rupees (the grand prize on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire") is USD$411,600.
Approximately 20% of the movie's dialog is in Hindi (with English subtitles).
The second Danny Boyle film to feature a protagonist diving into a toilet, after Trainspotting (1996).
The pile of excreta that the young Jamal jumps into and was made from a combination of peanut butter and chocolate.
This movie almost was released straight to DVD instead of getting a theatrical release.
In the scene early in the film where Maman approaches Jamal and Salim to give them a cool drink, the 'Thumbs Up' branding (the Indian version of Coca Cola) had to be removed on the request of the manufacturers who did not want to be associated with the film.
Ruslaan Mumtaz was selected by director Danny Boyle to play the role of Jamal, however the producer of the film felt he was "too good looking" to play a kid from the slums. Hence, Dev Patel bagged the role.
This is the first film since Schindler's List (1993) to win Best Picture, Director and Screenplay at the Golden Globes, BAFTAs and the Oscars
Longiness Fernandes was the choreographer of the dance sequence set to the song "Jai Ho", which is played during the end credits. But his name was inadvertently left out in the credits of the film. Upset with this, Longinus skipped the preview parties. Danny Boyle was also upset over this mistake and promised Lnginus that he would make it up to him, and made he up in style. While accepting the Oscar for the Best Director, he admitted his mistake before the audience and thanked Longinus. The song "Jai Ho" also won the Oscar for Best Song for A.R. Rahman and Gulzar.
The children on the film were only paid a little above local wages for 30 days of work. One child's father said, "We have barely got any money from the film-makers. In fact, whatever came, has already been spent."
The film is based upon Vikas Swarup's novel "Q & A".

I loved "trainspotting" a lot.. and it's cool to know that it was a film by the same director. i might check out his other films. Ü

goofs

Plot holes: The original TV show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" is recorded in studio some days before the actual broadcast. The show that we see in the film is broadcast live, which raises the incongruence that the person from home can easily see the question on TV having plenty of time to come up with an answer before receiving the actual call. this explains the need to have the questions reread on the phone, and the credibility of the time limit. Moreover, the call itself is never directed to a mobile number, to prevent connection troubles, and for the same reason it's never issued directly when the contestant asks for it; the call is first made in the very moment the contestant begins his round and it's then kept live (but soundless) until the contestant calls for the hotline. As a side fact, after the hotline has been used the contact is still kept so the contestant's people can hear live what happens from then on.

Factual errors: In the final question the name of Alexandre Dumas in incorrectly spelled Alexander.

Errors made by characters (possibly deliberate errors by the filmmakers): in the hotel scene, after the fight, Salim puts the gun to Jamal's head. Salim says that the gun he is using is a Colt 45. A Colt 45 is a handgun, but Salim's gun is a revolver.

Boom mic visible: In the room where Latika is dancing, when Jamal and Salim come to free her and Maman shows up with his tough guys, a boom mike operator can be seen in the mirror in several shots.

Factual errors: SPOILER: In the beginning of the film it says it takes place in 2006. But when Jamal wins the show, the check says 2005.

¤ the unborn ¤

it has been a long time since i was able to see a movie that really scared the shit out of me. i don't want to look up facts about the movie because it still haunts me. maybe some other day. or i would just read it but would not post it here.

i get scared of horror movies that have some truth in it. something that's plausible. and i think the story or the concept behind the movie is.

i was screaming on top of my lungs during a lot of instances and yes, i was not ashamed! because, i sure hell was scared! waaaaaaah!

a very good scary movie.. because it did scare me.. Ü

i'm officially bed-less..

2009-03-10T13:31:00.000+08:00

Is it hard leaving people behind?
- yup.. especially those who are dear..
.
Who was the last missed call?
- dandy
.
At the moment are you more warm or cold?
- warm with a cold :c
.
What was/were the last thing/s you spent your money on?
- foods!
.
Is there one song that reminds you of the whole summer?
- last year? i barely had summer last year..
.
What are you doing right now?
- waiting for youtube videos to buffer
.
Can you handle the truth?
- yup.. it's the truth that can't handle me.. hehehe!
.
How's your life lately?
- happy.. Ü
.
When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong?
- right now.. i should be sleeping..
.
If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
- autumn.. because we don't have it in this country.. but it's not too hot nor too cold..
.
Do you hate being alone?
- in getting things done, yes.
.
Where were you last night?
- in bed sleeping
.
Last non-alcoholic beverage consumed?
- water
.
Do you currently have a hickey?
- nope.. hehehehe!
.
Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
- yeah..
.
When did you first get Myspace?
- i don't have a myspace account
.
Are you drifting away from any friends?
- some of them..
.
What are you listening to?
- silence
.
What are you doing tonight?
- working
.
Does the last person who put their arm around you mean anything to you?
- Ü
.
Are you wearing socks?
- right now, nope..
.
Do you have anything in your pockets right now?
- none
.
Who's your last text from?
- faye
.
Are you comfortable with answering personal questions?
- uhuh..
.
Someone on your mind right now?
- a lot actually..
.
Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
- nope
.
Who was the last person to sit on your bed?
- i'm officially bed-less..
.
Where were you at 2:02 this morning?
- right here
.
Did you go to sleep last night smiling?
- i guess..
.
Anyone told you a secret this week?
- yup!
.
When was the last time you bought something?
- kanina.. nagpabili ng foods kay mommy..
.
In the next 4 months, what are you looking forward to most?
- hahahah!
.
Was this New Year's enjoyable?
- yup..
.
Are you high?
- nope
.
Where do you think your best friend is right now?
- at home
.
Who else is in the room with you?
- mommy
.
Do you wish you were somewhere else?
- yup
.
Who did you last say I love you too?
- i don't really remember..
.
Do you have trust issues?
- yes
.
Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
- yeah..
.
Do you have a best friend to lean on?
- i guess..
.
What did you do today?
- rest to get rid of my fever
.
What do you miss eating?
- fruit cake!
.
What do you want to receive on your birthday?
- hmmm.. payment from those who owe me..
.
Reach your hand out to the right. What do you touch?
- air
.
What time did you sleep last night?
- 10:00 PM
.
What can you hear besides the computer?
- electricfan
.
What is your favorite line to say when bored?
- eh di yun nga..
.
How do you feel right now?
- sick!
.
What's your plan next week?
- Ü
.
If killing were legal, who would you kill?
- this might be used against me if i name names.. Ü but the list would exceed 10..

%-ish

2009-03-10T06:37:00.000+08:00

I'm 30% girlish, ..30% boyish, ..50% nerdy,..50% emo & ..30% childish

-- Girlish --

[x] I like at least one shade of pink

[ ] I don't like being messy

[ ] My belongings are organized

[ ] I don't like rock music

[x] I like wearing accessories

[x] Bright colors amaze me

[ ] I hate black

[ ] I go to the salon once a week

[ ] I comb my hair almost all the time

[ ] I bring my phone with me everywhere

TOTAL: 3

-- Boyish --

[ ] I wear baggy pants

[ ] I play video games

[ ] I listen to bands like,Yellowcard, Switchfoot, etc.

[x] I like wearing jackets with hoods

[x] I'm too lazy to do chores

[ ] I don't like shopping

[x] I like to go bungee jumping

[ ] I like being sweaty

[ ] I'm a big fan of marvel heroes

[ ] I always wear perfume

TOTAL: 3

--Nerdy--

[x] I always carry a pen in my purse or pocket

[x] I enjoy studying

[ ] I wear glasses

[x] I'm a straight-A student

[ ] I've never skipped any class in my whole life

[ ] I like my shirt tucked in

[x] One of my favorite subject is science

[x] I like reading books

[ ] My assignments are passed up on time

TOTAL: 5

-- Emo --

[ ] I love the color black

[x] I sit at the corner

[ ] One side of my hair is covering one of my eyes

[ ] I like listening to metal rockmusic

[x] I have a lot of problems in my life. Promise.

[ ] I don't talk much

[x] I don't have that much friends

[x] I barely have fun

[x] I barely go out with my folks or friends

TOTAL: 5

-- Childish --

[ ] I love to stare at the ceiling 4 ten minutes

[x] I sleep with a stuff toy

[x] I watch cartoons

[x] I love to invent words only i understand-

[ ] I sleep with a night light

[ ] My parents are the ones who choose my outfit

[ ] I'm scared of roller coasters

[ ] I like being with my family relatives

[ ] I take bubble baths

[ ] I love Spongebob

TOTAL: 3

Multiply each score by 10 & repost as .. % girlish, ..% boyish, ..% nerdy, ..% emo & ..% childish

valentines 2009

2009-03-09T04:15:00.000+08:00

this is already late.. but it still makes me smile.. so, here..

spotted: at the back of BCT, i was having my valentines.

February 14, a little after 12:00 AM I went out of the building looking for her. No one and nothing special was in sight. After receiving the call, i knew it has something to do with valentine's day. After an almost two-hour orientation, i badly needed a stick. so, i lit one. looking at both sides, i'm really not sure what to expect. when i was about half way in finishing my cig i saw him approaching. but where is she? so, we walked to where she was. and there she was, holding a bouquet of flowers.

beautiful flowers..

different kinds of beautiful flowers..

it's a good thing that it's not just roses. and there were gerbara daisies! my favorite! and i haven't even told her that they were my favorite..

i was overwhelmed. my knees were almost shaking. i guess, i laughed. i'm not sure anymore. but i know i was smiling. she was also shaking. she said she was nervous. i missed her. it has been a long time since we last saw each other and it was really not a pleasant parting. i wanted to hug her or maybe even give her a kiss on the cheek, but it didn't happen. i was so grateful, that i even forgot to say thank you.

she said there was another gift. but she can't seem to pull herself together that she was saying things that are "hanging". she can't seem to make a complete thought. so, we walked. i asked them to accompany me to but something. when i went out of the store, she was holding the other other gift: a very cute, pink, cuddly, little pig!

it's really cute! she herself can't let go of it.. i needed to ask if she has plans of actually giving it to me. it took quite some time before she handed it to me. of course, she gave it to me after a couple of kisses and hugs. and it was time for me to go, too.

i was really smiling.. a lot. for real. i know i don't want flowers on valentine's. i know i don't want surprises. but these were good ones. maybe, because it was something she really wanted to do. something that i didn't give hints on. something i didn't hint on asking for..

thank you.. for the flowers, for LULU. thank you for making me smile, for making me laugh. for making me hope again. thank you for being patient with me and for giving me more than just flowers and a stuffed toy. one day, eventually, the timing would be right. it might not be perfect, but we'd both know it would be right. i believe loving is never wrong, unless you're hurting someone, even yourself.. so, let's both wait, okay?

namesung raw..

2009-03-09T01:51:00.000+08:00

B : is a nerd at times
A : has a smile to die for
R : gives good hugs
N : easy to fall in love with

L : very good kisser
A : has a smile to die for
A : has a smile to die for
R : gives good hugs
N : easy to fall in love with
I : best boyfriend or girlfriend

> A : has a smile to die for
> B : is a nerd at times
> C : can kick ur butt
> D : great friend
> E : has beautiful eyes
> F : wild and crazy
> G : HOTT
> H : likes someone
> I : best boyfriend or girlfriend
> J : is really sweet
> K : gorgeous
> L : very good kisser
> M : can be funny and dumb at times
> N : easy to fall in love with
> O : has one of the best personalities ever
> P : popular with all types of people
> Q : makes people laugh
> R : gives good hugs
> S : nice butt
> T : very opened - minded
> U : is loved by everyone
> V : not judgmental
> W : very romantic
> X : never let people tell you what to do
> Y : very hot
> Z : makes dating fun

hmm... grabbed from orly, and yes, it does describe one person correctly.. Ü

wala nang bagsakan, wala na po si kiko

2009-03-07T11:42:00.000+08:00

after coming from the closing shift.. i went to have breakfast with the other residents of sykes village and watched a few shows on TV and went home. it would have been late if i came from the opening shift. and i was thinking of being on the opening shift later that night. i wanted to sleep but being in the last shift made me feel like i was still supposed to be up. so, with the television on and one of my housemates there i stayed up.

then, my favorite afternoon variety show started. i was surprised that a regular segment was cut and the hosts said that they would pause for a break. the commercials took longer than usual. then, when the show came back, the hosts were all on stage and the main host was in the middle holding the microphone. all of them had gloomy faces. then, my housemate said, "oh my God! si Francis M." then, there.. they announced the death of a great artist.

i had goosebumps all over me and tears were about to well out.

he had cancer for quite some time now, but i didn't know it was that bad.

i had to text my contacts and spread the news.

i may not really be an avid fan, but i appreciate his genius. and of course, good looks. he was one of those we call, "immortal". because even after decades, it seemed that he didn't grow old. well, until now when i saw his last pictures, wherein the cancer, i guess, already shows. but nonetheless, he's still good looking than your average cancer patient.

being a Parokya Ni Edgar fan, i have learned to appreciate Francis Magalona because of his involvement in their albums, Inuman Sessions and Halina sa Parokya, thus the title of this blog entry. it was their song "Bagsakan"; a collaboration of PNE, Gloc 9 and Kiko Magalona..
So, I guess, the song would now go..

"Nandito na si chito, si chito miranda; wala na po si kiko, si francis magalona.. "

barn needs...

2009-02-28T06:19:00.000+08:00

i got this from mommy joey alegre.. you just need to search in google and put your name needs in quotation marks for my case it's "barn needs" and "laarni needs".. here's what i got..

1. barn needs a tin roof - well, i do want my own place.. soon.. but not necessarily tin roofed.

2. barn needs to be torn down or repaired. - i guess i'm finished being torn down one too many times, so, i'm on my way on getting repaired.

3. Barn Needs New Owner by Labor Day - May 1 is getting near.. and i sort of told someone to wait for about that time..

4. Barn Needs Lots of Love! - oh! i do! i do! i do need lots of love! hahahaah!

5. Barn needs to be painted, and somebody's got to do it. - so who wants to get dirty.. with paint.. hahahaha!

laarni needs..

1. Laarni needs to stay. - i stay for those who stayed.

2. LAARNI needs us please continue supporting her. - i accept cash!

3. Laarni needs to improve her self esteem. - okay, charley said i don't really need this..

4. laarni needs help badly, and pls lang let her stay away from the ref. - refrigerator ba ito? bwahahahahaha! i think it should be from the agents' stations and looking for food.. patay gutom!

5. laarni needs a photographer - with all the pictures you see here, i really think i need one. but with my consent of course. i've had enough stalkers. hahahaha!

what's on your mind?

2009-02-09T05:15:00.002+08:00

after taking a short and sweet personality test, here's what i got..

You'll drop everything to be with the partner of your dreams, and you'll give their sentimental presents rather than expensive ones. Nevertheless, your spontaneous nature does have a limit, and when the romance is over, you'll head back to work to pick up the pieces.

pretty much true.. i'm tired of giving expensive gifts.. i know where that brought me.. and work seems to be the one that keeps my mind off my broken heart.. and due to the awesome ton of work i've got.. here i am.. i think ready to give a try again.. it's just that the partner of my dreams haven't come to the right senses yet.. bwahahahahaha! or maybe those around me are still unable to prove that they are the partner of my dreams.. heheheheh!

I'm the real Laarni Lopez

2009-01-31T03:30:00.003+08:00

for those who have accounts with face book, try searching for "laarni lopez" and i think it will return two profiles and now with the same picture.

here's the freaky part: i did not create the other one. i'm not sure how to check the difference before adding one as a friend. the fake one really looks authentic because all my stats there are correct. except for one.. i don't have a "barnlopez" account in gmail. i think that's the e-mail address he/she used for the fake account. he/she copied one of my blog entries. i don't post blog entries in facebook.

i thought it was just a prank or one of my friends who just wanted to create a profile for me. so, i sent him/her a message asking who he/she is. then it replied and called me a poser. i know people who use that word, because i don't. i thought it would be something we would just be laughing at after, but it doesn't want that..

i'm afraid of stalkers. i hope this is not it.

i then started to think, what could be the worst thing that could happen? people that matter to me know the real me and they know who wants me to get hurt.. Ü

before january ends

2009-01-31T01:43:00.002+08:00

my last entry was when the month just started.. and i haven't posted anything else yet.

as usual much as happened..

Kampai's 6th Anniversary - held at nineteen20 bar in QC, near ABS-CBN - present: me, ate faith, kiki, edje, kuya vinnie, jong, dumdum, boni, batche and ninang; with guests: adrian ni mamu, ate weng, kuya ruben

Days with Faye - usually in intramuros; i get to spend some time with my friends in teatro

Iloilo Get-away - my week long vacation with the best friends I know in a land far away from work!

Shopping Spree - it's nice to get to spend what you have worked hard for.. i need control again, though and think of my savings. but's it's really nice to be able to spend money on yourself and not with those who take you for granted.. Ü

since i don't have a camera yet.. i need to wait for my friends to upload the photos.. but i will be posting them soon! Ü

naomi's birthday

2009-01-05T08:30:00.003+08:00

DAKAK

PRICE DETAILS

Class D (MNL - DPL)

2 Adult @ 551.00

PHP1,102.00

Taxes/Fees details

PHP4,332.24

Class E (DPL - MNL)

2 Adult @ 461.00

PHP922.00

Taxes/Fees details

PHP4,310.64

Total Price

PHP10,666.88

FLIGHT DETAILS

Manila (MNL)

to Dipolog (DPL)

04 Apr 09

5J 703 depart MNL 10:45 AM

DPL 12:10 PM

Dipolog (DPL)

to Manila (MNL)

06 Apr 09

5J 704 depart DPL 12:40 PM

MNL 2:05 PM

	DAKAK 'TA BAY
	.........Php 3,000.00 net per person (twin/triple sharing)
	................1,200.00 net per person (extra night)
	.........plus 1,200.00 net (single supplement)
	.........Inclusive of:
	........Two (2) nights / Three (3) days deluxe bungalow accommodation
	........Daily breakfast
	........Roundtrip airport/wharf/resort transfers
	........Complementary welcome leis
	........Complimentary welcome drinks
	........20% discount on sports facilities except Aqua Sports
	........Peak season supplement : P 750.00 per package

BORACAY

Resort : Escurel Inn
http://myboracayguide.com/

Date of Arrival	Room Details	Nights	Nights Per Season	Price per Day	Total
	Sat Apr 04, 2009	Standard Room Air Con	2	Peak : 2 Nights	Peak : PHP 2,300	Peak PHP 4,600

					Grand Total:	PHP 4,600

PRICE DETAILS

Class W (MNL - MPH)

2 Adult @ 261.00

PHP522.00

Taxes/Fees details

PHP3,411.44

Class Q (MPH - MNL)

2 Adult @ 761.00

PHP1,522.00

Taxes/Fees details

PHP3,531.44

Total Price

PHP8,986.88

FLIGHT DETAILS

Manila (MNL)

to Boracay (Caticlan) (MPH)

04 Apr 09

5J 899 depart MNL 12:05 PM

MPH 1:05 PM

Boracay (Caticlan) (MPH)

to Manila (MNL)

06 Apr 09

5J 900 depart MPH 1:25 PM

MNL 2:30 PM

holidays are meant for sleeping

2009-01-05T06:49:00.003+08:00

okay, i have used my days off work to sleep, eat, watch the television, and go online.. well, isn't that what this vacation was really for? well, aside from going home at last.. my sister was expecting some kind of bonding. i was able to give it to her, yes.. with mom, of course.

i love the food when i got home! my favorite food was on the table! big shrimps and crab! i didn't stop until i got a little dizzy.. hehehehehe!

then, the hibernation started.. sleeping and eating and watching the television..

of course, i tried to stay away from free tv as much as possible.. because that's what we only have in makati.. well, hopefully, soon, we'd get cable!

so, i was able to see, "bata, bata, pano ka ginawa" again. i would like to get a copy of the book!

grey's anatomy season 3, i think, was on marathon in studio 23, but I fell, asleep..

i don't remember the rest.. it all went like a blurr..

i even managed to sleep through grey's christenning.. i'm sooo sorry... sooo deeply sorry.. :(

i was able to catch a little of xxxHolic.. i wanted to watch that but again, we don't have that feat.. hehehe!

Kimihiro Watanuki is a high school student plagued by yōkai, spirits with a strong attraction to him. The spirits are invisible to others and encounters with them are extremely troublesome. When he stumbles into a shop that grants wishes, however, events in his life promise to become more unusual.

The shop is owned by Yūko Ichihara, a mysterious and beautiful witch of many names and esoteric renown. For a price, she offers to grant Watanuki's wish to be rid of the spirits. The price, according to Yūko, must be of equal value and so, as payment, he temporarily becomes Yūko's part-time employee.

Watanuki's job consists of small errands dealing with the supernatural and household chores. His love interest, Himawari Kunogi, and "rival," Shizuka Dōmeki, occasionally join him in his work as per Yūko's request. The three become increasingly close despite Watanuki's annoyances with Dōmeki.

then, there was this cute movie, "Arthur and the Minimoys".. i'm now officially a fan of freddie highmore! and i really think he's sooo cute.. :)

he's just 17.. hahahaha!

then.. there's this thing i should think about.. or not really.. i'm again confused. i need a dose of ate faith.. but i can already hear what she's going to tell me.

i really don't know how to say it with only half the hurt it would inflict. it's just that i'm fully aware of my right to decline.

but i don't want to conclude things yet. let's wait and see as to what will happen.. hahahah! 2009 will be sooo fun!

oh, and of course i downloaded a lot of songs in my phone. pne's solid album, the fray's self-titled and how to save a life album, the script's album, songs from season one and season two of grey's anatomy, with and without vocals of rent.. i should be singing before the year ends. :)

in a few hours i would be back to work mode and i'm not sure when my next entry would be. but i hope i would manage to squeeze a few words before each week ends.. ;)

another year end survey

2009-01-01T03:33:00.001+08:00

1.) FOOD OF THE YEAR?
stir fry noodles at shelby's and tripple choco boom of country style

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend):
ate faith and kiki

3) NEWCOMER AWARD – COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?:
charlemagne

3) HIGHEST POINT OF THE YEAR?
hmmm.. the day when we first texted again after a long time

4) LOWEST POINT OF THE YEAR?:
april to september.. until mid october

5) BEST HOLIDAY?:
i hate holidays

6) YOUR SONG FOR 2008?
so what by pink and take a bow by rihanna

7) best movie FOR 2008?
twilight

8) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH AND WHERE?
ano yun?!

9) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
the workaholic bitch

10) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR (di fastfood)?
a'venetto

11) KISS OF THE YEAR?
it might be something my officemates saw but i don't remember.. i was too wasted!

12) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
moving on..

13) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
finish off debts, get paid, start finishing my studies

14) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN YOU GOT DRUNK?
i was too drunk to remember! it's a good thing charlemagne and other friends were there..

15) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
grey's anatomy

16) BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT?:
survive 2008

17) HEARTBREAKER OF THE YEAR?:
it

18) BIGGEST CHANGE FOR THE YEAR?
curly hair

19) NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION?
don't do this kind of stuff..

20) BLOCKMATE OF THE YEAR?
let's make this team mate of the year.. charlemagne!

21) SITE OF THE YEAR?
www.hilom.com

22) COUPLE OF THE YEAR?
kuya pat and mommy joy

23) FOOD OF THE YEAR?
uhmmm..same as number one??

24) SUBJECT OF THE YEAR?
bwahahahah!

25) SEATMATE OF THE YEAR?
liway

26) STORE OF THE YEAR?
there's this store in 50th avenue of robinson's place ermita where we buy accessories regularly

27) CRUSH OF THE YEAR?
of course.. who else.. it's always been him..

28) YM BUDDY OF THE YEAR?
menan

29) MAYOR OF THE YEAR?
congressman na lang..

30) CLUB OF THE YEAR
mapua tekno teatro

31)PERSON OF THE YEAR????
me! bwahahahah!

a look back at 2008

2009-01-01T02:57:00.002+08:00

i hate it. i wish i could delete it. if 2008 never happened, i would be happier. i'm sure. 100% sure..

so, let's try and think of the good things and how shallow they are..

i was able to post a blog at least once a month.. which i think i can do in the following years.

what else?!

what are the bad things..

it happened
had a loan in the bank
my credit card got cancelled
the best partner i had at work left the company
one of my best girl friends (and some other friends) drifted away because of it

oooohh! i'm starting to think about good things!

had my hair curled! and i look hot!
and at the last part of the year, i get to feel how much my salary really is.. well, sort of, because i still have bills to pay.. i will get more of this next year (the feel of my salary and not the bills) .
i got confirmed. but then again, if not, i would be off to a different company and most probably get a better salary.

well, since i'm good at deleting things from my memory..

2008 is now officially deleted! i'm sooo looking forward to 2009! Ü

but the 12k debt is still there..

2008 question and answer portion

2009-01-01T02:53:00.000+08:00

2008 IS ALMOST OVER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Stayed single almost the whole year?
> half?!

Done something you've regretted?
> yes..

Lost someone?
> none

Cut class?
> no more classes

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
> yup

Visited a different country?
> nope

Cooked a gross meal?
> nope

Lost something important to you?
> yup.. my phone.. :(

Got a gift you adore?
> yup.. shoes from ate faith!

Dyed your hair?
> nope

Came close to losing your life?
> how i wish..

Went to a party?
> yeah..

Read a great book?
> i read a lot this year.. something great.. uhmm.. yeah!

Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
> nope.. i didn't see pne this year

Did you meet any new friends this year?
> "friend" is a deep term for me

Did you dislike anyone?
> hell yeah!

Did you grow apart from anyone?
> as usual.. and i miss her a lot.. but, we're getting a little closer again.. :)

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
> yup.. i regret hurting them with someone sooo not worth it

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2008: Your BIRTHDAY!

Did you have a cake?
> yup! oh! was it this year?!? :(

Did you get any presents?
> i don't really remember, maybe not.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2008: All about YOU

Did you change at all this year?
> yeah..

Did you change your style?
> style of what?!

Were you in school?
> nope..

Did you get good grades?
> hahahah!

Did you have a job?
> i still have..

Did you drive?
> nope

Did you own a car?
> nope

Did anyone close to you give birth?
> not physically, and i'm glad we're rebuilding the bridge.. i'll be the godmother of her child on saturday!

Did you go on any vacations?
> hmmm.. vacation is something you should enjoy, right?! can't think of any. but i managed to use up my leave credits.

Would you change anything about yourself now?
> yeah.. the biggest room is the room for improvement.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2008:Wrap UP:

Was 2008 a good year?
> nope.. it would be better to have 2008 erased.

Do you think 2009 will top 2008?
> definitely! if 2008 is the worst, all the rest will be better!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I confess that in 2008 I...
(x) stayed single for almost the whole year
( ) kissed in the snow (i wish!)
( ) celebrated Halloween
(x) had your heart broken
(x) mooned someone
(x) went over the minutes on your cell phone
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) done something you've regretted

OTHER
( ) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
( ) posted a blog on Friendster
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren't
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
( ) lied about how old you were
( ) prank called someone

In 2008 I...

[x] broke a promise
[x] fell out of love
[x] lied
[x} cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[ ] slept under the stars
[ ] kept your new years resolution
[ ] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[ ] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[ ] left the country
[ ] almost died
[x] given up on something/someone important to you
[x] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[ ] met great people
[x] stayed up til sunrise
[x] cried over the silliest thing
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[ ] had a high cell phone bill

my color quiz results

2009-01-01T00:22:00.003+08:00

Your Existing Situation
Acts in an orderly, methodical, and self-contained manner. Needs the sympathetic understanding of someone who will give her recognition and approval.

Your Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way of gaining relief. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity. bwahahahahah!

Your Desired Objective
Wants interesting and exciting things to happen. Able to make herself well-liked by her obvious interest and by the very openness of her charm. Over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming.

Your Actual Problem
Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others.

Your Actual Problem #2
Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives.

Bi-curious

2008-12-30T04:00:00.002+08:00

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Bi-curious is a term used to refer to someone who does not identify as bisexual or homosexual but feels or shows some interest in a relationship or sexual activity with someone of the same sex. The term can also apply to a person who generally identifies as homosexual but feels or shows some interest in having a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. The terms homoflexible and heteroflexible are also applied to bicuriosity.

The term bi-curious implies that the individual has had no sexual experience—or very little—of that sort, but may continue to self-identify as bi-curious if they do not feel they have adequately explored these feelings, or if they do not wish to identify as bisexual.

i'm a cristina

2008-12-28T11:18:00.002+08:00

took a personality quiz in ABC..

why you can't give up

2008-12-19T03:42:00.002+08:00

a scene from "Grey's Anatomy" (Didn't We Almost Have It All - Season 3 Ender)

MEREDITH: "No matter what, you walking down that aisle today. I need you to go down that aisle."
CRISTINA: "Is the toilet paper cutting off your circulation?"
MEREDITH: "You marrying Burke, it´s a sign. Sign that people like you and me ... can do this. Be healthy, be happy. You marrying Burke restores my faith in... me."

this was the scene that flashed in my memory when you said that you're giving up. i can't let you give up.

through the years that we have known each other my hopes came from you. you are full of that: hope. it's very easy for you to see the silver lining in clouds. and if you give up, all of hope would be lost. at least for me.

we love a lot, cry a lot, laugh a lot, drink a lot.. and we get hurt a lot. but we would still manage to love and laugh.. and hope that someday things would get better, that we have a happier future.

i have a friend who said that everyone deserves to be happy. well, the thing is we are always happy. i've learned that from you. that even if there are things or people that we don't have or don't love us back we still manage to be happy. so, i guess, it's not a question of happiness.

i just don't want you to give up. because you're the strongest person i know. if you can still have hope, if you can still hold on, if you can still smile and wake up the next morning, there's this possibility that i can too. but if you stop. if you no longer can.. i'm sure that no one can. specially me.

i'm always praying for your happiness, because it gives me hope.

i'm sorry if i'm putting much pressure on you. i know it's tiring. and giving up is the best way to go. but i believe in you. i believe that you are strong for this. we are strong.

so, if you would be giving up, let me know what i can do so that you won't give up. so, that you won't stop.

CRISTINA: "Meredith, please say something, say something! I... I don't know. Say what I would say you if you were me."
MEREDITH: "Okay."
CRISTINA: "Good."
MEREDITH: "Got it."
CRISTINA: "Good. Go."
MEREDITH: "Stop whining. This is your wedding day. You will got on that aisle. You will get married! If I have to kick your ass every step of the way to get you there. You will walk down the aisle and you will get married. Do you hear me Cristina? We need this. We need you to get your happy ending."
CRISTINA: "Okay, I´m ready."

We will get to our happy ending, but we won't get there if we would give up. So, don't just don't. Let's stay happy. Let's still have hope. Okay?

singing

2008-12-19T03:16:00.002+08:00

during my last day of my leave for 2008, my good friends from the UK account went to Providence, had a couple of beers and of course, sang our heart out. it has been a long time since i held the microphone and sang. We bought Php 400 worth of tokens, and there's the four of us, thus, we had 10 songs each. Here was my line up:

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat the first song i saw, never sang this before in karaoke

Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie the song that reminds me of our Pagupud escapade

Dream of Me - Kirsten Dunst from the movie, "Get Over It". they started saying how sad the song is. this reminds me of Mima. it's one of her favorites

Ikaw - Brenan Espartinez I meant to sing "Ikaw" by Regine Velasquez and/or Sharon Cuneta. and i never heard or know this song, but it was easy to follow. and it has good lyrics.

You're Beautiful - James Blunt the song wherein i scored 99! and this is the song that Dave used to sing for me

A Whole New World - Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle almost all of us sang the song. this is my favorite duet from Disney, and it seems to be the easiest to sing

All I Ask of You - Barbra Streisand wanted to sing something from a musical and this is the next one i saw after the previous song. i just miss the stage so much. and i really like what this song says. but i learned not to ask, it should come out naturally, right?

Burn - Tina Arena one of the Laarni Classics; i missed singing this.

I Know Him So Well - Barbara Dickson and Elaine Paige again, from another musical, "Chess", and another duet, that i managed to sing alone. it reminds me of Liway and the fabulous version of Jinn and Bubu. I miss ba_rockz.

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor one of the KAMPAI songs. there was one instance that kiki told me that this song is for me. :) i did survive and i will survive whatever the future holds.

This I guess was just a preparation, because during the MT2 Team Building and Induction, when everyone was already drunk and sleeping, I had the videoke all to myself and i sang whatever song i wanted until morning came, until i almost have no voice left because the microphone was not cooperating and you would need to sing louder than usual, but it still works for me. and no one managed to beat my score of 92! Teng gave me a name, but i already deleted the message and i have very poor memory.. oh, well!

when will i be able to sing again? when i will be able to be on stage again? i hope it would be sometime soon!

Olivia, The Golden Girl of Jazz

2008-12-19T02:34:00.002+08:00

i saw her perform in unang hirit. she sang "winter wonderland".

my mom is a big fan of jazz, and with that i sort of grew up listening to the music. and the way she sang that Christmas song was very good. although, at first i thought there was nothing out of the ordinary, but she was able to exude jazziness.

i would like to have a copy of her album, "Gentle Jazz". I hope it's available in torrent. Hahahaha!

http://jazzuality.com/interview/exclusive-one-on-one-interview-with-the-golden-girl-of-jazz-olivia/#more-49

i'm not dumb, just stupid..

2008-12-19T00:52:00.003+08:00

being dumb is knowing nothing; lacking in knowledge..
being stupid is knowing but doing otherwise. the actions will make you think that there's no knowledge there.. it's there alright. it's just opted not to be used.

i'm not dumb.. just stupid!

chapter 5

2008-12-19T00:29:00.003+08:00

i tried writing chapter 5 a week or so back. unfortunately for some wretched reason it wasn't publish. it was a very long entry since it has been a long time since chapter four. i would need to do key words again.

OMD Team Building - memory wiped out
Oh! It's a Rhinoceros - back to what i really love
Thanksgiving celebration in Megamall
In th Grove
Twilight
MT2 Induction and Team Building
Shopping!

This would be the last chapter. I plan to write daily.. if not, weekly.

Hard Lessons on Love and Men... from Grey's Anatomy (repost from ate kang)

2008-12-18T23:58:00.001+08:00

1. A man won't let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone whohas let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you.Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is anotherreason he is not willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only onereason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do notwaste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move onand be open to a man who will truly love you.

3. Do not get hung up on your past. Do not nag or distrust your currentboyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or therelationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same wayas your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him tolook for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. Itwas not because you didn't guard him enough or you didn't make him happyenough.

4. Do not look into images. How many times have you met a man/girl who didn'thave the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the man/girl and found out he was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images.Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your"supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.

5. Always have your own set of rules. Set your limits on how far you'd gofor a guy. It's perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it'sworth it.. And it's worth it if the guy is treating you right.

6. Do not be scared to lose him. Don't be scared that he'll break up withyou. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage.Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.

7. Avoid calling your guy. It's a guy thing. The relationship willdefinitely be better if it's the guy who's calling, not the girl. He willget tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest andchallenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it's a girl thing also thatyour fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much aspossible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions arereasonable).

8. There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can makeyou feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during yourfirst few weeks together. So don't lose hope. Don't settle for a lesbian ifyou are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love youlike a girl can. Also, do not believe him when he says it's just the way hereally is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during yourfirst few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is notthat into you anymore.

9. Always be the only one, no matter what. Do not ever fall for a guy whohas another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says hejust can't get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that heloves you and for some reason, he can't leave or let go of another girl,then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.

10. He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, heshould always show respect towards you.

11. If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can nevertrust nor respect the person again.

12. Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl'sman, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrongreasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex,man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wastingmore years of your life.

13. Do not force yourself into a relationship. Do not get into arelationship just because your friends are getting impatient with yourdating escapades and the one hasn't come yet.. Do not choose who to say yesto based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you areeven thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.

14. Do not settle. If you are not happy anymore with your relationship,break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how uprighthe might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness inhis life.

15. A relationship has to have love. Love is the only thing that will pushyou to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me,keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.

16. Don't be afraid to be single. It's fun to be single, try it. You can goout whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever youwant and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for thesake of having one. Do not settle.

17. Be a good girl. Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter therelationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationshipseriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person(of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years) .If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know thatthe latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.

18. Love without limits. Whether you loved and gave everything or loved butheld out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. Butif you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it wasworth it. If you didn't give your all, you get hurt for nothing.

19. You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends andyou are free to love another.

20. Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinderhis gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you asimportant. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in hislife.

goodbye you love i

2008-12-01T07:31:00.003+08:00

lyrics by ivan, as told by kiki

Wish you could be the one
The one who could give me love
The kind of love I really need
Wish you could say to me
That you'll always stay with me
But baby that's not you
I need someone willing to give their heart and soul to me
Promise me forever, baby that's something you can't do
Oh you could say that you'll be all I need
But that would be a lie
I know you'd only hurt me
I know you'd only make me cry
You're not the one I'm needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for me
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
I'll find someone who'll be the one that you could never be
Who'll give me something better
Than the love I'll find with you
Oh you could say that you'll be all I need
But that would be a crime
I know you'd only hurt me
I know you'd only make me cry
You're not the one I'm needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But you'll never be the one I'm needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye

How Will I Die?

2008-11-28T10:09:00.000+08:00

How will I die? Your Result: You will die in a car accident. Please, continue to buckle up, and try not to speed. More likely than not, it will happen very randomly and quickly. Occasionally, this result stands for death in a plane crash. Do not fear transportation. Avoid becoming a hermit, you cannot escape fate.
You will die in a nuclear holocaust.
You will die while having sex.
You will be murdered.
You will die from a terminal illness.
You will die while saving someone's life.
You will die in your sleep.
You will die of boredom.
How will I die? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I'm finally getting better

2008-11-12T05:59:00.000+08:00

"Over You"
Daughtry

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

chapter four

2008-11-03T06:24:00.003+08:00

october ended.. here comes november..

-= mac arthur =-

i'm not sure how fast i was able to finish reading this book. it's bob ong's shot in writing a novel. it's very independent filmish. it would be a good independent film. i hope he would be intrested in writing a screen play for it. i think it would be nice.

it would be a mind boggler to think about why it was entitled "mac arthur". i have this insane idea, but it's really insane. a logical suggestion came from mamma bear. i thought about it too but i think it was too simple.

there was this part of the story wherein cyrus was trying to flush down a packet of drugs in the toilet with shit still in it. he was flushing using a dipper of water, again and again. but the feces would just come back and return.. mac arthur.. "i shall return." bwahahahahahah! me and my shitty ideas.

-= happy-ness =-

neal sy showed me his brand new car. and we went to mc donald's to eat. i bought him a chicken meal and i had french fries. we talked. i missed neal sy. it was nice talking to him. i really like it when we exchange thoughts, how stupid they seem to be.

i'm really grateful to have a friend like him. there's a very few number of people who would appreciate him. i do.

we talked about our lives and it's amazing to see how much he knows me and understands what i'm saying. even if most of the time we talk about him. and i want it that way. i don't really want to talk about me when we are the ones talking. although, he does ask questions and i would need to avoid answering as much as i can. hehehehe!

i'm glad we've become friends. hopefully, until the end.

-= my cristina yang =-

while we were walking in the mall.. she let out this comment about a girl wearing something out of the ordinary.. then i realized, "hey! here's my cristina yang!"

she may not be as serious or as workaholic, but being a heartless bitch, she can manage. heartless but would still care for me. she's not as dumb as most people would think she is.

i'm really scared when it's time for her to leave the office. maybe sometime next year. i'm not sure if i would survive my life in sykes without her. she's the only reason i made it until now. i'm again almost in tears now, but i would have to reserve them until that day.

-= my new my sassy girl =-

i'm not sure if it's because it's that time of the month, or is it because we didn't get enough sleep, or is it because of my current emotional state. but i was crying my heart out and i was trying desperately to stop it. i have been crying for almost an hour. yes, half of the entire movie. my only u.

i'm sure that you would be crying. i'm sure i would be crying again if i see it. or maybe not. but i was not really crying as much as i want to because i know cristina yang would be laughing about it. i want to watch it again but i would want to let the tears fall freely at that time.

-= 4g!v3n3$$ =-

kiki had a blog entry about this. and i totally understand her.

someday i will manage to forgive. but how am i going to forgive if the person is not really sorry. i don't want to keep on hating. at this point i need to get back some things. after that it would be much easier to forgive. even if the sorry wasn't really meant.

i have managed to conjure up a story that would not include it. it's quite fun actually. :)

right now, i have this conclusion that i was not really loved. it's easier to believe than to prove the otherwise. i now know, it wasn't real. and i'm okay. it's a first, but i manage to pull through.

i'm happy right now, with new opportunities ;) and the realization of how capable a person is to lie and hurt someone else. i felt how much my friends love me and i would not want to hurt them again.

i'm still not grateful for the experience. i know i would live and enjoy life without it.

it would be hard for us to be okay again, but it would not be my loss if we won't. maybe it's not its lost as well. so, why do they want us to be okay? we were not friends in the first place, so, nothing's really lost. it was all just a trip and a lie, so, there's nothing to go back to.

i just need my money back. :)

-= december =-

i'm looking forward to something. but i don't really want to keep my hopes up. i'm glad to have another reason to smile and wait for that day to unfold. :) ;) :P

I was believing in you

2008-10-30T05:04:00.001+08:00

"Vonda Shepard Baby Don’t You Break My Heart Slow lyrics"

I like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you say do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever

But I’d rather you be mean than love and lie
I’d rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I’d rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don’t you break my heart slow

I like the way you’d hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you’d say my name
In the middle of the night
While you were sleeping

I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean do you mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever

Chorus
But I’d rather you be mean than love and lie
I’d rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I’d rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don’t you break my heart slow

Bridge
You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home still thinking that we’re together
I wanted our love to last forever

I was believing in you
I’d rather you be mean than love and lie
I’d rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I’d rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don’t you break my heart slow

Chorus

20 minutes to write

2008-10-28T05:40:00.002+08:00

i finished reading "Stainless Longganisa". and it sort of reignited my zeal for writing and my passion for performing on stage. i would just need to have my life and finances a little organized.

i can't remember when i first had that thing for writing. but, it's very limited. i can but there's a a very slim chance for me to write good in Filipino. i can't write news articles as well. i knew that when i tried for our school organ. stick to English. stick to feature writing and/or editorials.

my mom doesn't want me to become a writer. we watched this movie wherein the main character was a young female writer who became an addict. maybe that's the reason why mom didn't make me take an writing related course.

i have no regrets taking up engineering. i would still want to go back and finish the course. well, if i have the time and money.

i'm sort of getting the hang of my job. i don't go and stay here for 12 hours. well, i really know what i was doing, i'm just a workaholic bitch that's why i stay that long here in the office. but since i sort of learned how to let go. i think i would be able to start and try my chances in theater again. i'm ready for rejections and would be accepting challenges along the way. i would just really want to perform on stage again. i want to be part of a production again. i miss the hammering feeling inside my chest before i start and go on stage.

i know these activities and the things i would want to do would not fill in the void. but it would make me think of that hallow part of me. and eventually, maybe without noticing it, i would be contented.

i have accepted my fate. a long time ago. something happened that made believe otherwise. i'm going back to that place. and i would be happy. right?

just one more minute to go..

i made a wish. and it's not really good. but it would really make me glad.

sms: amnesia

2008-10-27T05:42:00.003+08:00

i know if i did this a couple of years back, more people would have replied.. but i guess, this would be enough..

i texted the following message to almost everyone in my phone book:

Kung naaksidente ako at nagkaron ng amnesia.. At ang alam ko lang ay ang aking
buong pangalan.. Ano'ng isasagot mo kapag tinanong kita kung sino ako at sino
ka? O hahayaan mo na lang na nakalimutan ko na kung sino ako sayo at sino
ka sa buhay ko?

Most of them did not answered.. some thought it was a quote.. and some were not informed about my number and asked who i was? bwahahahahah! some answered laughter and some asked to eat.. hahahaha! well, here are the answers i got..

mamma bear: sabihin ko ikaw ay gf ni *** at ako ang nambugaw sa inyo.

i was laughing out loud with a factor of HP-ness.

dee: ikaw si barn, work force ng pb account sa sykes na ex ni *****. ako si dee isa sa mga kaibigan at pinaka-cute sa pb. pag di mo naalala, hahayaan na lang kita na may amnesia.

no comment

oric: ikaw si laarni, ako i rico and we're super close..

*hugs*

mommy joy: sasabihin ko bitch ka pero love pa rin kita kasi friend mo ako. :)

i'm a bitch and i love it! and a good thing that my friends love it too!

cyrus: if ever man na you forget me because of an accident and ask me who i am in your life? I will say... "boo! gulat ka noh!" hahahah! honestly and sincerely, mag papakilala ako a your friend, teatro baby and a little brother that won't ever forget a wonderful ate who guided me nd accompanied me in my life in mapua, in teatro and daily living.. bow.. :)

*speechless with a grin*

vj anievas: ikas i barn, kumakain ng apoy sa paragos ng ilog para mang aliw. ako naman si vj, ang tigatulak ng paragos mo! XD

which resulted to a discusion as to what "paragos" means! bwahahahaha! he said he would bring me back to my filipino teachers and i should have failed. sorry..

barn: ano yung paragos?
vj: yung hinihila ng kalabaw
barn: araro?
vj: ano ka ba? iba yun! paragos, yung nilalagayan ng mga
prutas or bigas..
barn: parang kariton pero hinihila imbes na
tinutulak? or parang caravan pero kalabaw ang humihila?

i'm not sure if i got it right.. hahahaha!

dad kumag: SINO KA? ikaw ang babaeng madumi ang buhok na may mahahabang kuko na may twist pa, may bonus na lupa lupa.. pero mabango ang k3p$. SINO AKO? ako ang nagpaplantsa sa buhok mo at gumugupit sa kuko mo.. pero hindi ako ang umaamoy ng k3p$ mo. iyon ay si *****! kilala mo ba sya?!

bwahahahahhahahahahahah!

stitch: Laarni Lopez .. nag aral ka sa MIT .. member ka ng teatro at magaling kang actor .. nagtatrabaho kas sa call center ngayon ..panganay a magkakapatid ..responsible at mabait kang anak
ano ka sakin? .. kapamilya mo ako sa kampai ..ex-gf kita na minahal ko ng sobra pero di tayo nagtagal dahil sa mga problema ko sa sarili ko .. kaibigan pa rin kita at mahal hanggang ngayon..

awww.. :')

josica (TL): ask kita if pwede magpa-aux ng agent.. hahaha!

and i actually replied, "sure! if there are no queues.. " bwahahahahahhaha! memory back! shit! i'm such workaholic bitch!

nini: hirap barn. siguro i'll let you come live with me for a week.. potah isa lang mga karakas natin kaya makikilala mo kung sino ka at ako. heheheh!

i've been meaning to go to her place someday and meet her baby!

ninang: ikaw si hagrid! naihambing sayo ang pangalan na yan dahil sa gulo ng buhok nya at pagkachorva nya.. yung tanong may parte sa puso ko at naging malaking part ng college life ko, isang taong masayahin at mahina ang puso. isang taong mahal ko. yun lang..

awwww... *hugs*

shua: ako yung kaibigan mo tapat at maganda laging nandito para sayo

was forced to answer.. heheheh!

mnf: pg nagka-amnesia ka, sasabihin ko sa yo na asawa mo dati si **** kaya lang naghiwalay kayo dahil kay ***.. at bf mo ngayon si *** hahahaha
ako ang kapatid mo na autistic dati at sanay ka na pinagsisilbihan ako.. oo nga pala, sasabihin ko rin na gustong gusto ni *** pag ikaw ang nagiging mapusok at ikaw ang nag iinitiate ng love making nyo.

TSK! hmpf!

bwahahahahhahahhahaha!

i want a cristina yang

2008-10-25T06:42:00.000+08:00

Pick a word that begins with the first letter of your

first name?
- love
.
Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you

say?
- ano'ng ginagawa mo dito?
.
Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?
- i'm not sure.. not recently tested
.
How many times have you been to the ER?
- thrice yata.. twice, i'm not the patient

Do you have trust issues?
- yeah
.
Do tattoos and piercings excite you?
- it depends on who wears them and where
.
I bet you're missing someone right now?
- the list is not that long
.
Do you hate the last guy you were talking to?
- nope
.
Who was your last text message from?
- ate faith
.
Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
- not all
.
What's the best wedding you've been to?
- sir bobot and mam shirley's

What time did you wake up this morning?
- i don't wake up in the morning
.
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to

tell you?
- yup!
.
Do you get along better with guys or girls?
- okay lang pareho, pero mas ang gays.. heheheh
.
Who is the best person to cheer you up?
- it's very easy to cheer me up.. i'm thinking about

three people right now.

Did you mean it when you said "i love you" last?
- yeah, i always do.
.
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in

the face?
- bwahahahahahah! before september ended.. medyo may

feeling pa ngayon, pero siguro just for the fun of it.

medyo nakakdiri ng isiping maglalapat ang mga balat

namin! bwahahahahah!

Is it okay if you kiss people when you're single?
- yup
.
What is wrong with you right now?
- hmmmm.. heart.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
- nope
.
Would you kiss someone to make your bf/gf mad?
- nope
.
Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends"?
- nope, but there's a possibility with one
.
Do you use t9, word, or abc?
- abc
.
Is there a guy that knows everything or mostly

everything about you?
- before he used to.. i changed.
.
Do you tell your mom everything?
- nope
.
Who was the last person you yelled at?
- i'm not sure.. might be an agent, or while messing up

with charley

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
- marky

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
- none
.
Think of the last person you held hands with, do they

mean something to you?
- yeah
.
Could you cry right now?
- yeah, but i chose not to
.
What were you doing at 1 AM this morning?
- working
.
How's your ex doing?
- i don't know
.
Who can you trust?
- i don't know

1.Last person who wrote you a comment?
- noel
2. Last song you listened to?
- truly madly deeply
3. What is people's first impression to you?
- maarte
4. Do you like chocolates?
- yup
5. Most memorable place?
- can't remember.. hahaha!
6. Do you read comics?
- yup
7. What are your favorite ice cream flavors?
- double dutch, cookies and cream and pistacchio
8. Do you miss someone?
- yes.
9. grocery or shopping?
- both
10. Can you dance?
- nope
Do you believe in God?
- yup
Your name spelled backwards..
- nrab
Where were you last night?
- still here
What is the last thing you downloaded?
- i don't remember
Name one beautiful person you've met/seen?
- no one comes in mind
Do u like roller coasters?
- yup
Chattin with...?
- mike and lemon
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
- yup! for both!
Are you shy?
- sometimes.. not so obvious though.. hahahah!
Do you think you're popular?
- nope
Fries or Popcorn?
- fries
Are you a good cook?
- nope.. but i hope i could be
BEST person in the world?
- my will be husband.. hehehehe!
Have you ever tasted durian?
- i don't remember.. hahahah!
What is your favorite pc game?
- twister?
Have you ever baked cakes?
- yup
Last thing you bought?
- food
What's your favorite song right now?
- i'm not a princess
Last song stuck in your head?
- none
Any pets?
- wala po
Color of most clothes you own
- brown?
Last starbucks?
- saturday ng madaling araw.. last week..
Last movie you've watched?
- in dvd.. bwahahahahahahah!
any plans for tomorrow?
- sunday? i'm going to oric's place with the gurls!
This weekend?
- it's the weekend
Are you happy?
- yeah..
Last sms you received?
- si ate faith, nagpapadala ng pera for drinks kasi they're waiting for me at the 6th floor
If someone were to spell your name wrong, how would they

spell it?
~ laarnie
.
Is your phone close to you?
~ near? yes
.
Look at your recent calls, who was your last call from?
~ amiel
.
What's bothering you right now?
~ yung tumitingin sa friendster account ko
.
Bet you're missing someone now?
~ Yup
.
If you were given $100, would you spend it, or save it ?
~ have it changed to peso, then, pay bills/debts with it
.
What was the highlight of your week?
~ my new hair!
.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
~ working.. or fooling around at work.. hahahah!
.
Are you listening to music right now?
~ yup
.
Do you get along with girls?
~ yup
.
Do you like surprises?
~ it should not ruin my day or plans though
.
Do you like your name?
~ yup
.
Do you crack your knuckles?
~ yup

What were you doing 20 minutes ago?
~ answering this
.

Bonfire or fireplace?
► bonfire on the sea shore and fireplace inside the house while it's snowing outside.. bwahahhaha!
.
Do you ever write notes on your hand?
► when i was a kid
.
Where did you sleep last night?
~ i'm here at work
.
What was your last text and who was it from?
~ ate faith
.
Whats on your mind right now?
~ the answer to this question
.
What makes you happy?
~ a lot of things.. heheheheh!
.
Have you ever gone Christmas caroling?
~ yup.
.
Who are you thinking of?
~ my friends i went caroling with
.
What are you looking forward to in the next month?
~ his birthday, his freedom? hahahah!
.
When is the last time you talked to your mom?
~ on her birthday
.
Have you ever told anyone you were OK when you really

weren't?
~ all the time
.
Where's the last place you went?
~ outside the norm? home
.
Do you smile often?
~ yup
.
Is there anyone that you wish was out of your life?
~ yup, but actually, she already is so, the answer is none.
.
.
Were you happy when you woke up today?
~ nope
.
Happiest moment of 2008 so far?
~ thinking of it makes me sad
.
Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try

again?
~ i'm not sure.. can't think of anything right now
.
Do you have a best friend?
~ a lot.. but i want a cristina yang

this ain't a fairy tale

2008-10-23T01:13:00.000+08:00

I'm Not A Princess

Taylor Swift

So you're sorry
that face of an angel
comes out just when you need it to
and that face back in and forth all this time
because I honestly believed in you
holding on
and days track on
stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known
I am not a princes, this ain't a fairy tale
i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stair well
this ain't hollywood, this is a small town
i was a dreamer before you
and i let me down
now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

Baby I was naive,
and lost in your eyes
and never really had a chance
I had so many dreams
about you and me
happy endings
now I know
I am not a princes, this ain't a fairy tale
i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stair well
this ain't hollywood, this is a small town
i was a dreamer before you
and i let me down
now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around

and you're here at my door
begging for forgiveness
begging for me just like i always wanted
but i'm so sorry

cause i'm not your princess this ain't a fairytale
i'm gonna find someone somewhere who might actually treat me well
this is a big world and that was a small town
there in my rear view disappearing now
and it's too late for you and your white horse
it's too late for you and your white horse
catch me now
try and catch me now
it's too late to catch me now

kulot na si barn!

2008-10-20T07:35:00.002+08:00

after about 6 hours in the salon.. after wanting to have curly hair for quite some time now.. here goes..

sighs and hugs: for chito

2008-10-20T06:29:00.004+08:00

sorry..
for not being able to greet you on your birthday.. or did i? well, sorry for not remembering if i did greet you or not.. hahahahah!
for all the hurt i've caused you.. i hope i already stopped doing that.

thank you..
for letting me know how it feels to be loved, respected and cherished.. i may not feel them again.

yeah..
.. i still feel all these things when i remember you.. us.. and my head cracks thinking of possibilities and impossibilities.. so, i'd rather not think.

moo bees

2008-10-18T07:47:00.002+08:00

thanks to imdb.com for all these info.

-= trainspotting =-

Tagline:
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a starter home. Choose dental insurance, leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose your future. But why would anyone want to do a thing like that?

Never let your friends tie you to the tracks.

Trivia:

Was ranked number 10 on the British Film Institute's all time best British films.
Although it looks thoroughly offputting, the faeces in the Worst Toilet in Scotland scene was actually made from chocolate and smelled quite pleasant.
The whole film was shot in just seven and a half weeks.
For the close-up shots of Ewan McGregor injecting himself with heroin, a prosthetic arm was constructed by the make-up department, complete with pulsing veins, smack tracks and small pockets of blood that would appear when the skin was punctured by a hypodermic needle.

Quotes
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117951/quotes
i love the quotes in this movie, they're just too long to post.

-= knocked up =-

Quotes
Debbie: You think because you don't yell, you're not mean. This is mean.

Pete: Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I can't even accept that? I don't think I can accept pure love.

Ben Stone: [explaining the conception to their newborn baby] and then your Mommy said, "Just do it already!" which was very confusing to Daddy, so I took the most literal translation.
[quietly]
Ben Stone: But between you and me, it was the smartest thing I ever did, 'cause now you're here.

the funny ones are here http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478311/quotes
i think i cried in this movie. well, which one did i not?

-= 1408 =-

Taglines

Based on the terrifying story by Stephen King

The Dolphin Hotel invites you to stay in any of its stunning rooms. Except one.

No one lasts more than an hour.

Enjoy your stay.

Don't stay in 1408.

The only demons in room 1408 are those within you.

The classic thriller we've all been waiting for!

Trivia

There are many references to the number "13" throughout the movie. The room is numbered "1408", add each number together equals 13. The room is on the 14th floor, and the Hotel skips the 13th floor, so the room is technically on the 13th floor. The room's key lock also has "6214" etched into it, which adds up to 13. And the first death was in the year 1912, which adds to 13.

In addition to the previous numbers adding up to 13, the hotel is mentioned to be at 2254 Lexington Street in New York City. 2254 adds up to 13.

-= 10 things i hate about you =-

i know i have seen this movie before, but i have seen it again recently and fell in love with it all over again. i miss heath. (close?)

Taglines

How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.

Romeo, Oh Romeo, Get Out Of My Face.

They're spitefully romantic

I pine, I perish!

Trivia

The title "10 Things I Hate About You" sounds remotely like "Taming Of The Shrew" (on which this film is based).

Several names reflect the Shakespearean origin of the story. Bianca's and Kat's last name is Stratford (William Shakespeare was born in Stratford-upon-Avon). Patrick's last name is Verona (birthplace of Petruchio, the corresponding character from the play). The high school is called Padua, which is the city in which the play is set.

Julia Stiles originally auditioned for the role of Bianca Stratford.

Michael says, "Sweet love, renew thy force," which is a line from Shakespeare's Sonnet 56.

Cameron says, "I burn, I pine, I perish," a direct quote from Taming of The Shrew.

One of the taglines for this movie is "How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways" which is an obvious play on "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." Although this movie contains multiple references to William Shakespeare and "The Taming of the Shrew", the line "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways" was written not by Shakespeare, but by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It is the first line of Sonnet 43 from Barrett Browning's "Sonnets from the Portuguese"

The marching band in the sequence where Heath Ledger sings to Julia Stiles had actually never marched before. They had to be taught for the purposes of the movie.

The original script was much darker to the one in the final film. In the original, Mandella (Kat's best friend) referred openly and frequently to several suicide attempts, which were for her to join with William Shakespeare.

Kat Straford is excited she got into Sarah Lawrence College. In reality, Larisa Oleynik who played Bianca Stratford really went to Sarah Lawrence College.

The song lyric "cruel to be kind" is a reference to a line from the play Hamlet; another of William Shakespeare's works.

The original song scripted for Patrick to sing to Kat to gain her forgiveness was "I Think I Love You" by 'the Partridge Family'.

Quotes

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

this is my ever favorite, as well as everyone, i think. you can find more here. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0147800/quotes

Soundtrack

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0147800/soundtrack
i like the song being played during the paint ball scene. i'm not sure which one is it.

-= hitch =-

The cure for the common man.

Trivias

The mobile phone that Hitch uses to talk to Sara when Albert is getting his back waxed is a Sony Ericsson P900.

Will Smith suggested Kevin James for the role of Albert, being a fan of James' hit series "The King of Queens" (1998).

Jennifer Lopez turned down the role of Sara Melas.

The movie that Sara is watching in her apartment is Jerry Maguire (1996).

The original title of the script was "The Last First Kiss".

Kevin James made up all of the dance moves for the scene where Albert is dancing in Hitch's apartment.

Allegra Coleman was a fictitious actress created by Esquire magazine in their Nov '96 issue, designed to spoof other magazine's fawning obsession with new stars. The article written about her new "It Girl" status prompted calls from studios and talent scouts eager to offer her scripts. Ali Larter provided the face and body shots for the faux starlet.

Quotes

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386588/quotes - again, there are a lot.

i'm surprised to have liked this movie. i actually did not want to watch this during the time it was showing here because i'm not really a will smith fan. and again, i needed to stop myself from crying because boris was teasing me.

chapter three

2008-10-18T05:01:00.004+08:00

it has been a very long time since my last entry.. i have been working a lot.. hahahah! i'm really back to being the workaholic bitch that i am. good thing or bad thing? i'm not really sure..

i'm on leave for two days.. thus, the free time to actually create an entry. can't make a specific one so here goes..

-= new earings =-

when mnf and i went to the mall two weeks ago, while he was trying on some pants, i noticed in the mirror while i was combing my hair that one of my earrings was missing. it was a pair of pearl earrings liway gave me when she went to boracay this year. the right one was missing. and i can't stay without earrings, right now. so, after mnf's shopping spree we searched for a new pair of earing for me. and this would be my gift for myself for this cut off.

we went to a lot of shops, and nothing seem to fit my taste. well, there was this one pair that i sort of liked. it's a silver drop pair. i didn't buy it right away and went to search for something different.

as usual, we went inside celine to check what shoes are on sale. i forgot that they also sell accessories and there i saw it. the pair i would like to have. it's really the same as the one in the picture but it's black. it's like ebony. but it's not cheap. we went to search for something else, but i can't take my mind of it. i was thinking of how i would look like wearing them and knowing that it's not light, i needed to think a lot. but we went to search for other earrings but to no avail. so, i mustered up enough courage to go and buy that.

i love it. it was painful during the first few days but then i got used to it. and i'm wearing it almost everyday. i don't have a picture wearing it but soon enough i sure will and i'll post it here or upload it.

-= sms =-

alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao kapag nagtalikuran sila? kailangan mo pa libutin ang buong mundo para makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo. - bob ong

.. pero kung gusto ka rin nya makaharap, half-way across the world lang ang kailangan mong libutin. pero hindi rin saktong half, pwedeng mas malayo or mas malapit.. depende sa kung gaano nyo gustong magkaharap uli..

-= my prince charming =-

i saw one of my high school best friends viewed my friendster account. i had this urge and missed her as well, so i went and checked her account. then i learned that she's pregnant right now! i'm so excited for her!

then, i realized that i don't have her number. i lost a lot of numbers since i lost my phone. so, i asked for her number from one of our high school best friends. in case she doesn't have beng's number i also asked for nini's. then she started sending the business cards. i was surprised to see that there was a third bussiness card sent.. and the info surprised me more. it was my prince charming. then, dada said, "i know you want it." bwahahahahahah!

so, i sent him a message. it was nice being able to have communication with him again. it has been years. well, one year and 8 months, not that i'm counting.

it has always been it's either him or me who's in a relationship during these times of communication. so, i expected that he's involved with someone right now. then, stupid me, asked for a sign. if it's for more than a year, i'll back off. so, i asked.. and it has been less than a year! bwahahahahaha!

but i'm not really in the mood of pursuing right now. although, it has given me a lot of HP nights and moments. it still can make me smile. and it's okay.

i always came clean with him. i have been honest ever since. so, i told him about my previous relationship. and i may be paranoid, but i think, i shouldn't have. i think it gave a wrong image.

i wanted to blame bliss, but it's not entirely her fault. it was my decision as well. i don't hate my prince charming for it. he is entitled to his own opinions. but like what i have realized, the back of my mind kept saying that, "i never asked for it to happen. i didn't want it. i did not even wish for it." well, it did happen and i won't be able to erase that. i just realized that in all of my past relationships, aside from the last one, i sort of wished for them to happen. i hoped and i prayed, and i guess, until forever, i'm glad they all came to pass. but not the last one. it was a new set up. so, i guess, i tried it. signs of regrets? maybe. i can live.

his birthday is coming up next week, i hope i would be able to remember to greet him.

-= my knight in shining armor =-

my friends are enjoying when i'm in the state of HP-ness. i'm not really sure why, but they are. is it because of the smile that i can't get rid off even if my cheek bones hurt? or is it because i'm not the usual bitch they have learned to love?

so, one of these very few good friends of mine sort of introduced me to this guy. sort of introduced because it was not in person. i think i already saw him. mnf pointed him out when he went to our floor. i was looking at him with this stupid look on my face when he looked at my direction. so, i hope he doesn't remember that. but i don't think i would really remember how he looks like in case we bump into each other.

so, there, we haven't met in person yet. but we have been talking in IM and sometimes texting.

since i'm in the state of being easily HP, there are a lot of times that my cheek bones hurt.

i'm half looking forward to actually meeting him in person, but there's this half that wants to keep it this way. i'm not sure why. am i afraid? or am i just contented?

well, the future will unfold on its own, so let it be. and i'll be just giddy and excited about it. :P

i want to make you smile.. but i don't know how to..
all i know is why.. because even if you don't really mean to, you make me smile..
thanks! hope to make it up to you someday!

-= define =-

i'm still not finished reading bag of bones, but i'm determined to finish it before my "vacation" ends. i came across these words and googled them.

evoe - no results came out. i sure wish to find what it means!

chortle

chuckle: laugh quietly or with restraint

a soft partly suppressed laugh
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Laughter is an audible expression or appearance of merriment or amusement or an inward feeling of joy and pleasure (laughing on the inside). It may ensue (as a physiological reaction) from jokes, tickling and other stimuli. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chortle

A joyful, somewhat muffled laugh, rather like a snorting chuckle; To laugh with a chortle or chortles
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/chortle

espionage

The practice of obtaining secrets (spying) from rivals or enemies for military, political, or economic advantage using illegal or unethical methods.
www.mangrum-pi.com/glossaryOfTerms.php

A government’s use of spies to uncover the secrets of other nations.
postalheritage.org.uk/learning/teachers/freeresources/lastpost/glossary/

is the use of illegal means (spying) to collect Information, more particularly secret or unpublished information. ...
www.quantum3.co.za/CI%20Glossary.htm

as much as i want to start reading mama bear's gifts, i'm determined to finish this one.

-= my hair update =-

i'm determined to have my hair done today. after this, i would be going to the salon and have my hair done! i saw rhian ramos' hair in lalola and that's what i want. it's the same with the picture i showed before but i wanted to see a local do it so it would be easy for the hair dresser to copy. i'm excited! i will sure be uploading pictures with the new hair and the earrings! love it!

sms: replies

2008-10-07T04:45:00.003+08:00

i'm not really a fan of forwarded messages. but, what can i do, almost everyone does that. and most of the time, specially if i'm in my thinking mode, i reply to these sms quotes.

"alam mo ba kung gano kalayo pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran
sila? kelangan mo pa libutin buong mundo para makaharap ulit ang taong
tinalikuran mo." - bob ong

.. but if the other person would want to face you again, you would just need travel half-way. that is if you would have the same amount of zeal to face each other again. the questions would be, how far are you willing to travel? and how far do you need to go?

mahirap sabihin ang
"i hate you"

pati din ang
"i'm sorry"

lalo naman ang
"i love you"

pero pinakamahirap sabihin ang
"iskibiratsibop iskiribapbap bloopikiribitkiribit"

kaw nga??

all of those things are easy to say.. well, aside from the last one. it's just hard to keep these words. and there are people who finds these words or statements so easy to say, that they tend to let them out of their mouth even if they don't really mean them. grrrrr!

marunong din naman ako magmahal ah.. magtiis sa mga bagay kahit
masakit. mag sorry kahit di ko naman kasalanan. magmaka-awa para di
iwanan.

pero bakit sa kabila ng lahat, ito pa rin ako..

patuloy na nasasaktan.

then i replied, which lead to a good conclusion.

barn: kasi yung mahal mo di marunong nun. or masakit man tanggapin, you don't bring those things out of him.
ang di ko alam ay kung paano mo matitigil ang sakit.
sabi nila, choice raw natin yun. kasi kung hindi, eh di tinigilan na natin.

shua: ganon talaga. di natin mababago ang tao sa pamamagitan ng gusto natin.

barn: so, ano ang dapat gawin?

shua: wala. kundi magmahal at tanggapin ang sakit. kasi ang pagmamahal, walang hihihinging kapalit. hindi porket nagbigay ka, susuklian ka. kaya nasa atin yun kung patuloy tayong magmamahal at masasaktan o ititigil natin at susuko..

barn: selfish ba kung ayaw mo nang masaktan?

shua: hindi naman. ibig sabihin, may respect ka sa sarili mo.

barn: *hugs* miss you, shua!

shua: bakit? miss you too..

barn: wala lang.. may naudlot lang kasi akong pag mo-move on.

chapter two

2008-10-02T03:39:00.004+08:00

yehey! blogger is no longer blocked here in the office. i can go and blog away without using proxies!

-= gay pride=-

there are a lot of reasons why i surround myself with gay men. i even fell in love with one.

they love to sing
they can always make you smile
they have strong perception of things that can also make you think
most are creative and/or artistic
their crazy antics are really crazy
they seem to understand me and really care
they have a strong good-looking-male radar, which gives me a chance to check out the field

i'm not really sure how this all happened, but i seem to have a lot of gay friends. and i'm really proud and cherish them. well, most i met in theater and the rest of my followed. i miss them a lot.. well, those i don't get to hang out with anymore.

-= sex and the city=-

my housemate has been watching the series every night even if he has watched it a number of times already. i get to taste it a little and found myself thinking about it at times. well, i've only seen the last few episodes of the series. it's like five to eight maybe. and he said, i can watch the movie now. they didn't recommend that i watch it since i have very little idea about what happened in the series.

i have learned a few things, laughed a little, and almost cried (almost because i stopped myself from doing so). i don't want to watch other episodes, but maybe i will if i get bored and have nothing to do.

and i found the perfect description of what i want..

I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming,
can't-live-without-each-other love.

sms

2008-10-01T02:13:00.000+08:00

here's my favorite text message while waiting for the salary to reflect in our bank accounts:

" Bugtong bugtong..

ayan na

di mo pa nakikita..

Sagot?

SAHOD!

Hehehe"

we'll i've been meaning to write those messages that i have received that reflects what and how i feel right now. but that would be too glum. i'm deleting them right now. but here's a few that i really like.

" Find someone who isn't afraid to admit that they MISS you.

Someone who knows that you're not perfect, but treats you as if you are.

Someone whose biggest fear is losing you. One who gives their heart completely.

Someone who says i love you and means it.

Last but not the least..

Find someone you wouldn't mind waking up with you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles, and your gray hair but still falls in love with you all over again.."

"Never be assured that love is enough to make someone stay or come back to you..

because when pain strikes the heart..

love fades no matter how great it was."

And there was this line in Star Cinema's Dubai, i watched it again with baboon since i stayed at their place during the whole weekend. Forgive me if i got this wrong, most probably I did.

"Alam kong dapat magpatawad. Alam kong dapat mag move on. Pero masakit pa. Kaya in time. In time."

end of bliss

2008-09-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

sometimes you think a story is over.. or maybe i just pretend that it ended. with whole honesty i have been thinking that it's not yet finished, but i'm making everyone around me believe that it is.

-= just once =-

stupidity, this is full of stupid shit:

should i give it a try? won't it be just like before? would there still be a point to make? haven't we tried already the first time?

i told myself to stop saying that i haven't tried everything.

won't i just get hurt? again?

i need consistency in what you're saying with your actions and in what you want me to feel with what you are actually doing. i need you to be sensitive with my emotions. i need you to accept me as me. i need you to make me feel that i don't need all these because that's already how you are. all because you love me, for real.

-= bitterness =-

and all that was bull shit. apparently what was said and sort of promised has turned into ashes.

the funny thing is it didn't have the decency to let me know. how the hell should i know that the words it said no longer stand?

and yes, i will get hurt. but i'm already hurting, long before, so, what difference should it make if it told me what's really happening?

the difference, it would give the will the move on.

so, why hold back? because it is selfish.

i have asked from time and again to tell me, whether it's true or not, that it's the end, but it just won't. now, that it's true, it still won't.

maybe i have learned my lesson. even though i wanted to so much, i didn't fall for the trap that i already saw.

i admit, i'm mad at it for not being honest. this should have been over a long time ago. by now, i should have been okay. and i really think that it's bull shit to hold back the truth just because you don't want that person to get hurt.

the funny thing is, it thinks that i have this "curse", that whoever harms me in any way or did something bad to me will have something bad coming. it happened to master yoga. it happened to grumpy. and it said it's happening to it. and that it deserves to die.

i don't wish people death. that's the easy way out. i sometimes wish it for myself.

i still want it to be happy, with its choices and decisions, with its life. but i wish it to have a long life. preferrably longer than mine.

i no longer want it to come back. i want it to realize its loss. i don't want it to go back because it may change after the realization and i may believe that it did change and i may be stupid enough to take it back.

nah! it's no longer coming back.. now, i wonder.. was it even here? yes. call me stupid, but i believe yes, it was here. it just left, sooner than i realized. or maybe i realized that it was gone, i just wasn't ready to accept it.

now, the story is complete. the book is closed. i'm no longer sure though if there's still paper and ink left for a new one.

chapter one

2008-09-28T14:11:00.005+08:00

again, i have been meaning to write, but work and my emotions stood in the way.. so here. i had this mental rule that i had to post just one per day.. or at the most three. but there are a lot of thoughts going on in my mind lately and i wanted to put them all in writing. so, this entry (and the succeeding ones) will be segmented to my thoughts. hahaha!

-= the dreaded day =-

and it once again came to pass.. and i can't seem to remember anything significant. oh! i went home.. at long last. and of course i received a lot of text messages greeting or wishing me a happy birthday. i didn't count this year. one of my crushes greeted me, or at least extended his greeting through someone else, and he did not respond when i said, "thanks po!"

at home, i have found a lot of changes. my brothers are fatter than i last saw them. my sister was kind of the same. i hate to admit it but she seemed a little taller. we had carbonara, there was ice cream and cake. but i found out one bad thing that makes me sad until this moment. my laptop is not working! it doesn't power on. it just blinks when you recharge the battery, but not its usual blink. i don't remember it blinking when i recharge it before. my brother used the battery of his laptop with mine and said the same thing still happened so, it seemed that it's not the battery. was it because i haven't been using it for a very very long time? it's just about 10 months since i got it. haaay.. so, there's like less reason for me to go back home any time soon.

it seemed that i have celebrated before the actual date. specially the days when i still have money to spend to celebrate. like my day out with mnf. it was a blast and i really enjoyed that day. a lot. how i wish it was my birthday back then, but it's not.

-= wall-e =-

haaay.. another movie that made me cry. i watched this with mnf and we both cried. hahahah! and i can't seem to get over it until this moment. and maybe i won't for a long time. maybe even after i see another movie that would again make me cry. maybe if and when my IM name changes it would mean i am sort of or kind of over it.

i can't tell more about my favorite parts without being in tears again. haaay..

-= my hair =-

okay, i haven't done anything about my hair yet, but i sure plan to. and i saw the perfect hair-do that i would really want. i was again with mnf and we saw the 2008 emmy awards and saw brooke shields' do and i love it. i just hope the hair dressers would be able to get it.

-= delete =-

i guess, i just can't do it easily. i can't just stop. i need to stop myself. by sort of removing her from my life. yes, it's supposed to be easy since she's so far away and it's not as if she's making a way to be part of my life again, but somehow, someway, she still manages to come across my mind and bother me. mnf said this is normal. and i'm still not that much of a loser. it's okay, it's normal. eventually, all would be well. yes, maybe it would take a year, like stitch did. well, it took stitch more than a year and we were together again. it's just that king kong happened and the bitches, that's why it was sort of easy. well, now, i don't have anyone, for real, but i do have mnf and the gang and of course my job.

maybe what's really bothering me is the fact that there were words said, words that are almost promises. words that at this point are just the right things to say but as i realize now, are just shallow and nothing.

i really have to let go. i don't need to hurt anyone in the process because i'd take the punch. no more false hopes, no more what if's, no more "have i done everything?" because i know i did and i'd just get hurt if i'd go on trying.

i'm sorry for making a viscious cycle, but you didn't give me a reason to stop. and maybe you did, but then you didn't give me the chance to stop it.

maybe i wouldn't be really able to answer whenever they ask why. maybe i would just let them think what they want to think about. i guess, i would no longer care if they would blame you or me. i don't want to say, "it just didn't work out," because you never worked for it, i did.

bitterness? now, the meaning seems blurred to me. maybe. but also, maybe i'm entitled to it.

i'm known for being pessimistic and i don't need more facts to feed my pessimism. i'm back to building walls, crying underneath the laughter, and somehow wishing and hoping that someday i'll be numb from all these.

crazy wakka said, everyone desserves to be happy. and maybe i do. mnf wants me to be happy. all i need is to love and be loved.

-= gifts =-

i'm really grateful that there are still people who remembered my birthday. even if i wanted to forget it myself. thank you to those who gave me gifts. i was like a kid when i received them. i'm excited to finish the book i'm currently reading so i can start reading the bob ong books from mama bear. i was so proud to receive a tumbler from the captain. and i was really giddy and all. even if i won't be able to put coffee, or anything hot in it, it's okay. at least, i was able to put the one i was using in the locker for good. so, i'm really grateful. thanks!

-= cam =-

they're all just jokes. people to make me smile and make my heart skip a beat.

C. is for computer jester. bwahahahahahahahah! well, it was actually a long time ago. something i didn't really pursue because of bliss and some other turn offs and i was sort of afraid. but now, since bliss is gone, actually, so is he, a few "hehehe" and "adik" moments from him doesn't hurt.

A. is for experiment 280 cross with experiment 576. bwahahahahaha! mnf used to like him but he has this flaw. which still holds me back. i found one reason to believe mnf, and i'm looking for two more. i need something that he would show me, personally. not something i would analyze and think of. like the first reason he gave me. but i seem to have countless reasons to prove otherwise. i don't want another stitch. because stitch is stitch. and i would want him to accept who he really is.

M. is for oogway. :) he was the first breath of fresh air. and it may seem that nothing really followed, everyday seemed to be easier. i know there's nothing more to this. for all of them actually. but sometimes it doesn't hurt to smile.

there's really nothing much i can do here. maybe because i'm a girl. the answer maybe none of the above, but now, they help me get through the day.

-= good bye, king kong =-

he's leaving. i don't want to ask why. i don't want to ask where he's going. it's his last week. i guess i would forget. he said that i did. actually his words were, "ikaw lang naman ang nakalimot satin eh." i needed to. because of bliss. and even if that's over, i don't want to go back. i never get to write the letter i meant to write for him, even if just for here. i guess that's alright. i would just want him to be happy and be faithful and contented. maybe he is now. and i'm really happy for him. thank you for all the memories. they may be forgotten, but they were surely cherished. even for just a time.

-= on my own =-

song of my life

And now I'm all alone again,

No where to turn, no one to go to

Without a hope, without a friend, Without a face to say hello to

but now the night is near,

and I can make believe he's here.

Sometimes I walk alone at night

When everybody else is sleeping

I think of him and then I'm happy

With the company I'm keeping

The city goes to bed

And I can live inside my head.

On my own

Pretending he's beside me

All alone, I walk with him till morning

Without him

I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way I close my eyes

And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver

All the lights are misty in the river

In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight

And all I see is him and me for ever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself and not to him

And although I know that he is blind

Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him

But when the night is over

He is gone, the river's just a river

Without him the world around me changes

The trees are bare and everywhere

The streets are full of strangers

I love him

But every day I'm learning

All my life I've only been pretending

Without me his world will go on turning

A world that's full of happiness

That I have never known!

I love him

I love him

I love him

But only on my own.

deadlines

2008-09-15T22:19:00.000+08:00

i'm not sure when i've started living with deadlines. maybe it's something i picked up in school, in doing projects and all that $h!+..

then, i started working and deadlines meant money.

but then i realized, (well, actually someone pointed it out and told me that it's a good thing) that i have been using deadlines in my personal and everyday life..

deadline in waking up.. in finishing a book.. in talking to someone.. in sending a text message.. in moving on..

now, i'm giving "us" until my birthday (in manila time).. then, it's again another deadline.

my birthday wish list

2008-09-13T01:33:00.001+08:00

here's the top 10 things i want for my birthday (in no particular order)

1. cute bag for my laptop - or just a cute jacket for it, then i can put it inside my big bag.. hehehehe! - Dimensions of my laptop: HxWxD (32mm/1.26"x 337/13.27"x 238mm/9.37")

2. digital camera - i don't know what specs i would like. i like ate faith's camera. it's a cannon, i think. i want lcd at the back. and other features. hehehehe! i also like the camera we saw during the eraserheads' reunion concert, all his shots were the best. i wasn't able to see what brand of camera he was using though.

3. confirmation - i know this would be too soon. and would be so close to impossible to. but then, i want to be confirmed as early as now, because it's my birthday, but it can go as late as november. hehehe!

4. books - well, i don't have a list right now. but i sure want books to read. good novels. bob ong books would be good. i've read a lot but i don't own any.

5. new bag - i've worn out the bag dandy gave me. i want something small that the guard would allow me to bring inside the office. but still would fit my things, well, it's just my wallet and cell phone, a rarely used comb, perfume that will be used more often by the 23rd and my cell phone charger. and trash.. bwahahahah!

6. starbucks tumbler - i received 2 starbuck tumblers during my birthday back in 2004, i think. from my officemates in artistic expressions. i kept both because i was using one at home and the other one in the office. i lost one here in sykes and managed to break the other one. i'm currently using my ex's and i want to return it back or at least put it in storage together with the other things she owns that are still with me. i don't need a very big one, a very small one would be of no use because i would need to go back and forth to the pantry to get coffee. of course, i want a cute design!

7. tickets - to movies, concerts and plays. hopefulle they're scheduled on a weekend so i would not need to file for a leave or even if it's on a weekday it should be during the broad daylight. sleep doesn't matter for me anyway. i want to see a lot of movies and concerts and plays. trying to add more art in my life. bwahahaha! i missed cinderella and a lot of movies and i want to watch more concerts, but maybe less than movies and plays.

8. dvds of complete tv series - the list would be endless, but i would love to have the complete season copies of the following series: ally mc beal, grey's anatomy, ouran high school host club (subtitled, of course), fruits basket (hopefully, dubbed in english, but englist subtitles would do), detective conan (again, subtitled), and whatever tv series that friends of mine would think i would enjoy.

9. movie dvds - your pick if it would be original or just pirated, but hopefully it's a clear great copy with special features. i love special features. hahahaha! the list for this would be much longer and i don't want to write samples. because i can't pick what i would want best. maybe julia robets', natalie portman's, johnny depp's and jude law's movies and great animations.

10. original music cds - the latest by parokya ni edgar matira matibay and solid, or their Christmas album, Jingle All the Way, the sound track of Rent, the sound track of 50 first dates, made of honor, runaway bride, and other romantic comedy flicks. Obviously, I love sound tracks and pne. And any other artist you might think would be good for me to listen to and hear.

... hmmm.. this list lacks something.. or someone.. but i know he won't be here on that day, even if just a greeting from him would do. haaay... *smitten*

prologue

2008-09-09T05:15:00.000+08:00

this is to be discussed on a longer amount of time on hand. this is to be discussed with a much saner mind. but reading my old posts, back when i was all alone, or so i thought, i need to right about this.. my current state.

how am i doing? really..

i'm alone again. lonely, yes. but that's fine right? because i'm alone.

i still can smile. i can't laugh, for real, but i can smile. that's enough.

i know that there's an offer to be no longer alone, but is that the door to leave sadness as well.. maybe not.

i want my thoughts to be sorted out. i want to be able to decide and stand by them. my head aches, and i blame the physical aspects. but my chest aches too. i remember to have felt emotional pain that is so great that it's almost physical. now, i can't tell the difference.

all i need is to be loved. i have felt it. and i also felt it drift away.

i know i am the problem. or am i really? i just haven't found that one who would love me for me, inspite of me..

maybe bliss now realizes this. or maybe not. i guess, there's no telling what. until i take the plunge.

am i ready to fall flat on my face again? or should i just let it pass by?

procrastinating

2008-09-09T05:11:00.000+08:00

i had a really bad day at the office today..

hate rain..

and i'm still not going home.. but i'm not doing any work..

just waiting for flor.

i don't know what to do when i get home. i need to do the laundry.. then, what.. i know i won't get a good sleep anyway. i might just read, or go back here.. then, sleep?

sh!+

i'm back to being the grumpy old me. someone who can't express herself but has all the emotions to back it up. tsk!

kung fu panda

2008-08-26T02:05:00.000+08:00

most of jack black's movies give me the tendency to think that it's corny. well, this is not really his movie because this is an animation. i wanted to watch this movie but had hessitations.

kuya pat downloaded this movie and we had a lot of fun watching it! and since i am a self declared panda, i really enjoyed the movie!

Oogway:
There are no accidents.

[last lines]

Po:
You wanna get somethin' to eat?

Shifu:
[sighing] ... Yeah.

Po:
[serving a noodle bowl to a customer into which he accidentally pitched a throwing star] Careful, that soup is... sharp!

Po:
Skadoosh!

Po:
There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.

Tai Lung:
You... you're just a big... fat... panda!

Po:
I'm not a big fat panda. I'm *the* big fat panda.

Tai Lung:
The Wuxi finger hold!

Po:
Oh, you know this hold?

Tai Lung:
You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.

Po:
Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh!

Oogway:
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

[first lines]

Po:
Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

Po:
It is said that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!

Mr. Ping:
We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.

Tigress:
It is said that the Dragon Warrior can go for months without eating, surviving on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.

Po:
Then I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. It's gonna take a lot more than dew, and, uh, universe juice.

Tigress:
[seeing Po bounce down the palace steps] If he's smart, he won't come back up those steps.

Monkey:
But he will.

Viper:
He's not gonna quit, is he?

Mantis:
He's not gonna quit bouncing, I'll tell you that.

Tigress:
One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.

Crane:
Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.

Monkey:
Or even see his toes.

Po:
The Furious Five! You look a lot bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You're about the same.

Po:
The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at - Ow!

Viper:
Are you ready?

Po:
I was born read...

[Viper attacks, Po is flung and lands on his head]

Viper:
I'm sorry, Brother! I thought you said you were ready.

Po:
That was awesome! Let's go again!

Shifu:
Po, you're alive... or we're both dead.

Mantis:
Sorry, it's just hard to find the right nerve centers under all this...

Po:
Fat?

Mantis:
Fur. I was gonna say fur.

Po:
Sure you were.

Tai Lung:
But he's a panda!

[incredulous]

Tai Lung:
You're a panda!

Shifu:
One must first master the highest level of kung fu, and that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you.

Po:
Someone like me?

Shifu:
Yes! Look at you! This fat butt-

[he whacks Po on his butt]

Po:
Aah!

Shifu:
..Flabby arms-

[he hits Po on his arm]

Po:
Those are sensitive in the flabby parts...

Shifu:
And this ridiculous belly!

Po:
Hey!

Shifu:
And your utter disregard for personal hygiene!

Po:
Now wait a minute, that was a little uncalled for-

Shifu:
Don't stand that close, I can smell your breath.

Po:
Listen, Oogway said that I was-

[Shifu grabs his finger and he gasps]

Po:
The Wuxi finger hold? No no, the Wuxi finger hold!

Shifu:
Oh-hoho, you know this hold?

Po:
Developed by Master Wuxi in the 3rd dynasty, yes!

Shifu:
Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinkie?

Po:
[gasps] No no no no!

Shifu:
You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards.

[chuckles]

Po:
Okay.. Okay take it easy..

[Po falls to his knees]

Shifu:
Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through, I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't! Are we clear?

Po:
Oh, yeah! We're clear, we're clear, we're so clear!

Shifu:
Good.

[chuckles]

Shifu:
I can't wait to get started.

Oogway:
[walking towards Po] Ah! I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!

Po:
[Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth] Oh! Is that what this is? I'm so sorry! I just thought it was a regular peach tree!

Zeng:
[watching Tai-Lung break out of his prison restraints] We're dead. So very, very dead.

Tai Lung:
What are you going to do, big guy? Sit on me?

Po:
Don't tempt me.

Po:
I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.

Shifu:
Believe me, citizens, you have not seen anything yet!

Po:
I know!

Shifu:
[intercepting Po, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Tai Lung soon.] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!

Po:
Watch me!

[tries to run around Shifu]

Po:
Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs!

Shifu:
You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!

[pokes Po in his stomach]

Po:
You don't believe that!

[Shifu swipes at his hand with Oogway's stick]

Po:
You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!

[Shifu knocks him to the ground]

Shifu:
Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.

Po:
You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.

Shifu:
Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!

Po:
Yeah, I stayed. I stayed because everytime you threw a brick at my head or said I smelled; it hurt, but it could never hurt more than everyday of my life just being me. I stayed because I thought if anyone can change me, can make me not me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!

Shifu:
I can change you! I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!

Po:
Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!

Shifu:
I don't know!

[sighs]

Shifu:
I don't know.

Po:
[sighs and frowns sadly] That's what I thought.

Shifu:
But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become the Dragon Warrior?

Oogway:
I don't know.

Po:
No! The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors; said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army!

Po:
[whispering to the urn] Hello?

Shifu:
[from behind Po] Have you finished sight-seeing?

Po:
[stunned, thinking the voice had come from the urn] Sorry, I should've come to see you first.

Shifu:
My patience is wearing thin.

Po:
Oh, well, I mean it's not like you were going anywhere.

Shifu:
Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.

Tigress:
The panda?

Shifu:
Yes, the panda!

Tigress:
Master, please!

[pushes chair out]

Tigress:
Let us stop Tai Lung, this is what you've trained us for!

Shifu:
No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his!

[points at Po, then realizes he's not there]

Shifu:
Where'd he go?

Oogway:
One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

Shifu:
When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate, you stink.

[Po frowns]

Shifu:
But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you is with this.

[pulls out a bowl of dumplings]

Po:
Oh great, 'cause I am hungry!

Shifu:
[laughs] Good. When you have been trained, you may eat. Let's begin.

Tigress:
Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before... or since. And now, he has a chance to make things right. To train the true Dragon Warrior. And he's stuck with you, a big, fat panda who treats it like a joke.

[Po makes a sudden funny face and Tigress gets angry and attempts to smack him]

Tigress:
Oh that is it!

Mantis:
Wait, my fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve!

[Po falls to the ground revealing a lot of needles in his back]

Mantis:
And may have also stopped his heart.

Po:
[looking around at the historical artifacts in the palace] Wow! I've only seen paintings of that painting!

Tai Lung:
I have come home, master.

Shifu:
This is no longer your home and I am no longer your master.

Tai Lung:
Oh yes. You have a new favorite. So where is this Po?

[chuckles]

Tai Lung:
Did I scare him off?

Shifu:
This battle is between you and me.

Tai Lung:
So, that is how it's going to be.

Shifu:
That is how it must be.

Tai Lung:
[growls] I rotted in jail for 20 years because of *your* weakness!

Shifu:
Obeying your master is not weakness!

Tai Lung:
You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew! But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do? Nothing!

Shifu:
You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior, that was not my fault!

Tai Lung:
Not your fault? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who did I feed my destiny!

Shifu:
It was never my decision to make!

Tai Lung:
[snarls and holds up Oogway's stick] It is now.

Po:
Maybe I should just quit and go back to selling noodles.

Oogway:
Quit, don't quit? Noodles, don't noodles?

Po:
[breathing heavily] I know you're trying to be all mystical and Kung Fu-ey, but could you tell me where we're going?

Po:
[after being hit in the crotch] Oh! My tenders!

Po:
[checking to make sure Shifu is okay after his fight with Tai Lung] Master! Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?

Shifu:
[coughs] Po, you're alive. Or we're both dead.

Po:
No, Master I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung.

Shifu:
You did?

[Po nods and smiles]

Shifu:
Wow. It is as Oogway foretold, you are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to this valley and... and to me. Thank you, thank you Po. Thank you, thank you.

[slowly lays his head back down, assumingly dead]

Po:
[Po looks disbelievingly at the red panda] No! No no no, don't die, Shifu please!

Shifu:
I'm not dying, you idiot!

[he catches himself]

Shifu:
Ah, Dragon Warrior, I am simply at peace.

[lays down and folds his hands together, smiling]

Shifu:
Finally.

Po:
Ooh, so um, I should.. stop talking?

Shifu:
If you can.

Shifu:
[after having dragged Po up the mountain and said Panda is trying to cool down.] Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.

Po:
[quickly shakes his hand off] The Pool of-?

Shifu:
This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This is the birth place of kung fu.

[Po is shocked, and it shows a glimpse of Oogway before Shifu jumps up to a giant rock]

Shifu:
Do you want to learn kung fu?

Po:
Yah!

Shifu:
Then I *am* your master!

Po:
Okay!

[sniffles]

Shifu:
Don't cry.

Po:
Okay.

[wipes his nose and smiles]

Po:
[standing before a training dummy] Hey, what you got? You got nothing because I got it right here. You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel the thunder. Come out with the crazy feet. What you goin' to do about the crazy feet. I'm a blur! I'm a blur! You never seen *Bear* style!

Monkey:
[after the Furious Five bowed to Po in his dream] We should hang out.

Po:
Agreed.

Mr. Ping:
The secret ingredient is ... nothing!

Po:
Huh?

Mr. Ping:
You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.

Po:
Wait, wait ... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?

Mr. Ping:
Don't have to. To make something special you just have to believe it's special.

Po:
There is no secret ingredient ...

Mr. Ping:
[after Po told him he had dream about noodle] This is a sign, Po!

Po:
Uh, a sign of what?

Mr. Ping:
You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup. And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant just as I took it over from my father who took it over from his father who won it from a friend in a game of mahjong.

addicted to the beijing olympics

2008-08-23T10:57:00.004+08:00

okay, i know that if i'm a real addict i would be there watching it live, but i have no means. hehehe! but i just love the thought of having history unfold before my very eyes. okay, it's different and sometimes seeing it on television doesn't count, but what the heck.

i loved the openning ceremonies. it's really amazing. although there's a boring part, but over all, it was breath taking.

i saw michael phelps achieve his first gold of 8 (is that right).

i saw the first gold medal given out, i think. it was for women's shooting. hehehe!

i loved the costumes of the usherettes.

i saw the "tie" of the uneven bars competition. i'm not really well versed in gymnastics, so, i'm not really sure who should win.

although i didn't see it, my crush ranked 23rd in her division and #6 of Spain, i think it's Marc Gasol.. ;)

and i found my animal! i'm a panda! hehehehe!

Jingjing makes children smile -- and that's why he brings the blessing of happiness wherever he goes. You can see his joy in the charming naivety of his dancing pose and the lovely wave of his black and white fur. As a national treasure and a protected species, pandas are adored by people everywhere. The lotus designs in Jingjing's headdress, which are inspired by the porcelain paintings of the Song Dynasty (A.D.960-1234), symbolize the lush forest and the harmonious relationship between man and nature. Jingjing was chosen to represent our desire to protect nature's gifts -- and to preserve the beauty of nature for all generations. Jingjing is charmingly naïve and optimistic. He is an athlete noted for strength who represents the black Olympic ring.

mind occupied, time flies

2008-08-17T16:29:00.000+08:00

one of the tips i got in how to move on or at least stop from moping around, is to read..

fist of, my gayness has been fulfilled. i was able to finish orosa nakpil, malate by Louie Mar A. Gangcuangco. of course, as usual, i was in tears in some parts of the book. it was during angelo's revelation of who he is in ross' life. haaay.. i just find those kind of things unfair.

then, i realized my therapy would not be working this way.. so, i resorted to another book. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Bloom. Haaay.. i managed to stop the tears from flowing but there were a lot of points i would wish to keep. and i would really want to have a copy of my own. i just borrowed from Kuya Pat.

Okay, the therapy was kind of working but i was still thinking a lot and still not being able to get some sleep.

Then, i found a new book in Book Sale. Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. Love it! It was a breath of fresh air. Hahahahahahaah! I really am a frustrated murderer.

I'm still in need of another book. I bought one but it's a romantic novel, so, it might just bring me to tears again. Any suggestions?

I feel, like you don't want me around

2008-08-11T16:37:00.000+08:00

Always by Saliva

I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind"

It's telling me all of these things

That you would probably hide!

Am I your one and only desire?

Am I the reason you breathe,

Or am I the reason you cry?

Always, always, always,

I just can't live without you!

I love you!

I hate you!

I can't get around you!

I breathe you,

I taste you!

I can't live without you!

I just can't take anymore

This life of solitude

I guess then I'm out that door

And now I'm done with you!

(Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you)

I feel, like you don't want me around

I guess I'll pack all my things

I guess ill see you around

It's all, been bottled up till now

As I walk out your door

All I can hear is the sound of

Always, always, always,

I just can't live without you!

I love you,

I hate you,

I can't get around you!

I breathe you,

I taste you,

I can't live without you!

I just can't take anymore

This life of solitude

I guess that I'm out the door

And now I'm done with you.

I love you,

I hate you,

I just can't live without you.

I wrap my hand around your heart,

Why would you tear my world apart?

Always, always, always, always.

I see, the blood all over your hands

Does it make you feel, more like a man?

Was it all, just a part of your plan?

The pistol's shakin' in my hands

And all I hear is the sound!

I love you,

I hate you,

I can't get around you!

I breathe you,

I taste you,

I can't live without you!

I just can't take anymore

This life of solitude

I guess then I'm out that door

And now i'm done with you.

I love you,

I hate you,

I can't live without you!

I love you,

I hate you,

I can't live without you.

I just can't take anymore

This life of solitude

I pick myself off the floor,

And now I'm done with you.

Always,

Always,

Always.

my birth chart

2008-08-11T02:33:00.001+08:00

This birth chart shows the positions of the planets of Laarni Lopez

The planets in the signs

The position of the planets in the signs of the Zodiac has an influence on the character of the individual and these influences form a large part of the individual psyche.

Sun in Virgo

She is ingenious, sharp customer, discerning, crafty, diplomatic. To the point and subtle in speech, she is a real diplomat.

Weaknesses: petty and over-critical. Over-attention to detail, nit-picking and fussy.

Moon in Gemini

Sharp intellect. She likes literature, adapts to all situations and social groups. Work in contact with the public, literary occupations, travel.

Weaknesses: lack of follow-up of ideas, indecision, goes back on decisions.

Mercury in Virgo

She discusses, deduces and judges. She reasons logically and accurately.

Weaknesses: she is easily irritable and nervous. She tells off and criticizes. She is impulsive and manic.

Venus in Libra

Happiness is found in marriage, living with another. She is devoted, tender, affectionate, gentle. Love is a matter of charm, rapture, delicacy. She cannot hide her love, but needs legal recognition. She wants all the marriage rites.

Weaknesses: she likes to be worshipped, enjoys flattery and likes to be surrounded by her inner circle. This causes a few problems after marriage.

Mars in Sagittarius

Fights against principles, society or a philosophy. Reasoning, ability to explain things, logic and debate.

Weaknesses: she goes to excess in the battle against moral or other principles. Has a somewhat revolutionary spirit, is intrepid but presumptuous.

Jupiter in Capricorn

She has great professional aspirations. She likes to direct, organize. She is correct, virtuous, conscientious and worthy.

Weaknesses: without doubt too avaricious, eager for gain.

Saturn in Scorpio

Observant, self-controlled, unforgiving, tough, methodical, a researcher, an investigator. Lots of courage, self-assurance and can keep her cool.

Weaknesses: makes no concessions or compromises. She can become a fanatic of a creed, a party, work or a religion.

Uranus in Sagittarius

She is shy, delicate but proud, bold and lively.

Neptune in Sagittarius

Likes long voyages, things foreign, water.

Pluto in Scorpio

Great sexual activity.

Sign and ascendant

Virgo ascendant Libra

The planets in the houses

The planetary positions in the houses express the facts relative to destiny.

Sun in XII

Professional success in isolated occupations. Work in laboratories, scientific research, police, information services, hospitals.

Moon in IX

Highly imaginative. Prolonged studies, is intuitive. Professionally successful abroad, or in import-export or as a diplomat. Contact with foreigners. Long journeys. Ability to learn foreign languages.

Mercury in XII

She has difficulty expressing herself, especially when young. Does not talk much, she does not speak for the sake of it. She works in remote and quiet places. She is discrete and philosophical.

Venus in I

Big-hearted. She is generous, altruistic, devoted, warm-hearted, lovable and sweet-tempered. She is drawn towards the Arts, music, song. She likes gatherings, parties. She has big emotional highs. Peaceful life in love.

Mars in III

Lively spirit, alert and ingenious but sarcastic, critical, provocative. She is quarrelsome. Expresses herself easily, does what she wants: success is at the end of the road. She is capable and acts quickly.

Jupiter in IV

She likes and believes in justice. She is an optimist and is generous. Professional success is rapid and helped by the family. Family life is very important for her. She likes comfort, well-being at home. She knows how to entertain in style and above all with pleasure: her house is always open to friends.

Saturn in II

If she is rich, will always give the impression of being in financial difficulties. If she is broke, she gives the same impression - this time with reason. She has difficulty earning money: her work is tiresome and laborious.

Uranus in III

She is curious and inventive. If she does not study for a long time, she will be self-taught. She is intelligent, with a strong personality. She does not like routine and will regularly go on mission for work purposes.

Neptune in III

She has a lot of imagination, high ideals. She is nostalgic. Likes studying.

The houses in the signs

Ascendant in Libra

She will never leave the beaten track. Married and not living with a partner, if she gets involved in politics it will be in a recognized party and naturally one in power etc...

She is sociable, diplomatic in everything. Likes the Arts.

House II in Scorpio

Financial success will come either through a job connected with death, (funeral director, forensic surgeon, monumental mason etc...) or thanks to an inheritance.

House III in Sagittarius

She will study for a long time, will be erudite. Very intelligent, an open and independent spirit, will have a connection with foreign countries. Fertile intelligence.

House IV in Capricorn

After working all her life to obtain her objectives and finally having reached that goal, she wants to retire in peace and quiet and to have a retirement full of contemplation, with few tasks, close to nature. As she was very careful with money all her life, she will administer the properties she has acquired.

House V in Aquarius

Doesn't like routine and the banal. She is romantic, full of fantasy and imagination. She is also a friend one can count on.

House VI in Pisces

Job in commerce. Weak point: the kidneys.

House VII in Aries

Love-at-first-sight, marries without thinking. Doesn't want to change her habits, so domestic quarrels to be foreseen.

House VIII in Taurus

Happy old age, natural death. Inheritance.

House IX in Gemini

Likes studying, is open to anything new, accepts and recognizes her errors, always develops in a positive sense. Likes travel, discovery, meeting new people and knows how to appreciate them.

House X in Cancer

Likes contact with the public, the crowd. Profession that involves meeting a lot of people. Professional success thanks to sense of duty and application to her work.

House XI in Leo

Friends are not always chosen by chance. Even if the feelings of friendship are sincere, these friends must automatically bring something - professional help for example.

House XII in Virgo

Work in a research lab.

Interplanetary aspects

The interplanetary aspects have a strong influence on the character and disposition of the individual and, consequently, on her destiny.

The conjunction aspect is variable and depends above all on the nature of the conjoint planets.

-261 Opposition Moon - Mars

She is very emotional and is driven to do things by her emotions. She does not think things over or through in a given situation. She is irascible and sometimes violent. Marital disputes.

213 Trine Moon - Venus

She is gracious, sweet and gay. She likes pleasure and entertainment, but also the Arts. She needs tenderness, loves and wants children. She appreciates home life in a comfortable atmosphere.

186 Sextile Venus - Mars

She is amorous, not a peaceful and calm lover but a passionate one with a strong temperament. She is demonstrative in love, and likes healthy pleasures. She enjoys life to the full.

136 Conjunction Sun - Ascendant

-116 Square Mercury - Uranus

She likes polemic, to criticize and, above all, to contradict. She lacks diplomacy and tends to dissipate her energy. She cannot stay in the same place, likes change even if it means a backward step in her professional career.

70 Conjunction Jupiter - Neptune

She is very generous and altruistic, helping people in difficulty or sick people. She knows how to listen or, at least, how to give that impression. She is a dreamer, with lots of imagination: she likes the Arts.

54 Conjunction Mars - Uranus

She possesses exceptional energy. She is impulsive but bold. She takes on risky enterprises for the good of the community, with all the energy she possesses. She has a great need of her independence, likes her freedom of action.

-50 Square Sun - Neptune

Her imagination turns to internal day-dreaming: she is easily influenced, and complicates life unnecessarily. She does not bring plans to a conclusion. The dream-world is enough.

46 Sextile Neptune - Pluto

43 Trine Mercury - Jupiter

She is intelligent, has big ideas: she is tolerant and has a strong sense of justice. She has good judgement, good sense and has her feet on the ground. She has the "gift of the gab", and likes to speak, she also likes literature. She is erudite and will normally be successful socially.

-39 Opposition Jupiter - Midheaven

She likes to vaunt herself too much, is pretentious. Only one thing interests her: herself - and she brings every conversation around to herself. She has highs and lows in her professional life.

-27 Opposition Neptune - Midheaven

She lacks assurance, self-confidence. She does not always choose the right path.

21 Sextile Jupiter - Pluto

She likes to direct, is intelligent and is an organizer of the first order.

-17 Square Jupiter - Ascendant

She does not listen to those around her, she is pretentious and goes to excess when eating.

-13 Square Sun - Moon

13 Trine Pluto - Midheaven

She uses all her energy to succeed professionally. She has a good sense of organization and authority.

-10 Square Neptune - Ascendant

She is very easily influenced and fragile. She suffers disappointments.

new songs, for me at least

2008-08-02T01:58:00.001+08:00

Healing Star by Dishwalla

I know how much you've paid

It just seems so insane, anyway and

I know we're not the same

I wish I was the best thing that you've ever had

Chorus

Let me be your healing star

Let me take you far from there

And take you anywhere

Let me be your healing star

Let me take you far from there

And take you anywhere

I know it felt like home

The rats inside your bones took you far away and

To miss it seems insane

To wish it was the best thing that you've ever had

Chorus

I know I'd be happier

I know I'd be happier, inside you

I know I'd be happier

Inside you, Inside

Chorus

Just let me be your

Just let me be your

Just let me be your healing star

Ooh, Ooh, Ahh

I'll take you anywhere

Ooh

Blurry by Puddle of Mind

Everything’s so blurry

And everyone's so fake

And everybody’s empty

And everything is so messed up

Pre-occupied without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone

You could be my sea

You know that I’ll protect you

From all of the obscene

I wonder what you're doing

Imagine where you are

There’s oceans in between us

But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

Everyone is changing

There’s no one left that’s real

So make up your own ending

And let me know just how you feel

'Cause I am lost without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone

You could be my sea

You know that I will save you

From all of the unclean

I wonder what you're doing

I wonder where you are

There’s oceans in between us

But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Oh, Nobody told me what you thought

Nobody told me what to say

Everyone showed you where to turn

Told you where to run away

Nobody told you where to hide

Nobody told you what to say

Everyone showed you where to turn

Showed you where to run away

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

No, this pain you gave to me

Take it all away

Take it all away

Pain ya gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

adding art in my life

2008-07-22T23:20:00.001+08:00

Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival is a film festival in the Philippines committed to the development and promotion of Filipino independent films. The organizers hope that through the festival, young filmmakers will be able to express their own concepts freely and not be limited by the industry's present condition, where artistic integrity is sacrificed in the pursuit of commercial success.

For the 2008 2008 Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival, I was able to watch "Baby Angelo" and "My Fake American Accent", with Kiki last July 18. I may have no pictures to show but I have my tickets here.. and they're student tickets, even if I fail to bring my ID.

Of course, we watched "Baby Angelo" because our friend, Ate Rhap, was on the film. I really think it was the epitome of Independent Films. With the mysterious, mind boggling plot and the type of cinematography, it was no mistake to be an Indi Film.

It's a story of a fetus found on the trash bin of an apartment complex and the search for the mother of the unborn child. And the lives of the tenants.

"Baby Angelo" would make you ask questions, but not all of it will be answered. It would leave you conjuring up your own conclusions. Which is sort of fun for me.

Congratulations to "Baby Angelo" for winning the Best Production Design.

Too bad I wasn't able to catch "Jay". It won Best Film.

"My Fake American Accent" was about the Call Center life. I'm not sure why I wasn't able to appreciate it that much. I asked myself if I would appreciate it if wasn't part of the world they were portraying, but if not, I might get bored as well. Sorry.. There were a lot of factors that I did not really like, but I would not dwell on that much. I'm not a professional movie critic anyway.

Well, it was a breath of fresh air watching those movies, or just by being with an old friend, or just by being in CCP and be surrounded by artists. We saw Eugene Domingo, Tess Jamias, Angel Jacob and the directors, not all thaough.

I still wished I have seen the movie with my friends the previous day, but I needed to go to work.

I'm planning to attend more events in CCP. I miss going to UP and watching plays, but it makes me miss performing, a lot. Soon again, maybe.

I have a lot of plans before the year ends, I just hope they will all come to pass. Well, that's for another blog entry.. soon!

stay out

2008-07-21T20:48:00.001+08:00

If you'll notice, I never asked, when you will be coming back.. I want you to tell me. And I want you to be glad to be doing so.

There's this gutt feeling that you don't want to come back here anymore. And I sort of predicted that that would happen once you leave. It may be the reason why I wanted you to go. To get this done and over with. You, leaving.

I know I have been thinking that you don't want to go back, but I guess, emotions are something you can't really prepare for.

You left, and you're not coming back. You didn't tell me, but you told someone else.

So, I'm not really sure know what's hurting, you, not coming back or you, not telling me. All I know is, both does.

ode to joy

2008-07-19T00:41:00.001+08:00

why don't i write when i'm happy?

why can't i make the words flow when i'm in love?

i thought of writing here while i was happy and in love. well, i did. there was a time that i did. and i was lost for words.

i thought of doing it again today, but then, before i got here, i managed to mess everything up.

life is a viscious cycle, yet it's equally viscious to end it.

reasons. i'm always in search for reasons. maybe i don't really know the reasons or i don't want the reasons i come up with to be right.

hard work

2008-06-28T08:29:00.002+08:00

one of the hard lessons in life is knowing that not all things come easy, you have to work hard. and sometimes, you need to work harder for some things than most. i guess, you just keep your eyes on the prize, and all the heartaches, hardships and pain will all pay off at the end of the race. it's all worth it.

just glad to be smiling again. thanks!

bound to fail

2008-06-10T04:56:00.000+08:00

you have the power to make a day the best or the worst day of my life..

i'm afraid you unconsciously chose the latter.

i would be telling a life if i'll say i am miserable, because i'm not. but it would be an equal lie to say i'm perfectly fine.

i'm sure you'll ask what the hell's wrong with me, i'm about to say, "you." but deep inside i know that's just pain talking.

i'm a nut case. i don't have the answers to your questions or the reasons for my actions, but they are seen, said, heard and felt. they just can't be confined in words, and i have no means of letting you understand, but just hoping you'd know.

but i guess, not.

i don't want to count to reasons to stay and the reasons to go. i'm sure, the signs will show.

all i want is the best for you, but i guess, i'm the worst thing that happened in your life. at least, you make me feel that way.

someday, eventually, in the undetermined time in the future, we'd know.

i told you, it would be between your birthday and mine. i don't know what to hope, to be right or to be wrong.

the true me?

2008-05-05T11:01:00.000+08:00

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you are a bit stingy.

You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's The True You?