11 Painful Things

11 Painful Things

1. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget. stitch

2. Reminiscin' the good times. stitch

3. Trying to hide what you really feel. stitch

4. Loving someone who loves another. too many to mention.. will, empi

5. Having a commitment with someone that you know wouldn't last. stitch

6. Shielding your heart to love somebody. will, stitch,

7. Loving a person too much. stitch

8. Right love at the wrong time. jimmy

9. Taking risk to fall in love again. stitch, ron, right now

10. Accepting that it was never meant to be. stitch

11. What if's... will, jimmy, empi and crushes..

.. and karen was skeptic that i indeed experienced everything on the list.

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confession

i texted.. i asked.. and as usual.. no reply. since, this would be nothing new, i was not disappointed. i would even be scared if there was a reply since, basically, i don't think i'm ready.. in every aspect.

i stopped myself from texting him.. because i don't really know what to say.. wel, there are things i want to say, but all would look very trampy.. and i don't want that. i even thought of sending out an email with his message, period. but that would be so, untimely. i think. i should wait till my birthday, maybe and make sure i have no extra baggage left.

as usual, this would once again test my patience. can i hold that long or if i'll be able to, would i still do it?

so far, i don't think i was able to do such.. wait to do something. i was able to wait, but was not able to do what i wanted to.. i was able to do things, but earlier than the period of time i've set. breaking my own words.

so, basically, i'm not over him. maybe i never will, since i almost had him. almost.

hmm.. let me make a list of the guys i almost had.. so, that excludes those who still wants me.

brian, chito, viktor, will, cedo..

and they all ended up on the same spot. girl friend. some already have, others on the rocks and the rest ended up having one, and that's not me. hmpf! heheh! but that's okay.. *with a tight tummy*

moral lesson of the story: run away from scenes that has the potential of ending up the same way with arms wildly waving and don't forget to scream.

but pretty much i was able to get over them eventually. i can't say who was the hardest to get over with. so, this would. well, all would.

the things is, until then i can't say..

but pretty much, learn from your mistakes and put your motto in life to use.

hmm.. i'm okay again!

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movie trivia: dead man's chest

• The gigantic wheel weighed at 1800 pounds standing at 18 feet tall.
• Bill Nighy performed most of his role as Davy Jones in motion capture suit, later to be created entirely with CGI
• First film to feature Disney's new logo, a computer-generated model of the Magic Kingdom, replacing the blue and white silhouette.
• The game that Will Turner plays with Davy Jones with the dice is called Liar's Dice, a gambling game where each player has to make consecutively higher bids based upon how many of each die they claim are on the table (two threes, four fives, etc), until a player is called a liar, in which case all the dice are shown and it's seen if the bid is correct.
  
• At $132 million dollars domestically in its opening weekend, this movie smashed the previously believed "unbreakable" record of $114.8 million dollars that Spider-Man held. It is the biggest weekend opener of all time.
  

I reall can't get over this movie.. Really is comparable to Empire Strikes Back...

I cried.. I believe twice.. When Will's dad was to whip him and when Jack died.. woohoo! what a spoiler! heheheh!

I loved the fight scenes.. specially with the wheel.

After the movie, people were clapping their hands and basically everyone let out a sigh of aggravation! waaah! a real cliff hanger, but you would not mind the time and feel that there's another installment. You'll be really caught unaware..

Loved the movie!

Before watching I told my friend that I missed Johnny Depp, then he said, he misses Orlando Bloom, I told him, I don't miss Orlando, he always goes to our place, that's why.. heheheheh!

aaawww.. i can't help but think of the person whom i really associate the face of orlando bloom with.. haaay.. but that's okay. a good feeling actually.

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just popped out of my mind

for no one in particular.. (defensive?!?)

Beginning Today
Agot Isidro

Beginning today I promise you
I give my heart to you
Beginning today I promise to
Never part from you
From now on I will be right by your side
And I swear other things I'll put aside
Beginning today
Beginning today
(I promise you I give my heart to you)
Beginning today there's no one else
On my mind
Beginning today there's nobody else
Right here inside my heart
From now on I will be right by your side
And I swear other things I'll put aside
From now on there'll be no one else on my mind
Beginning today (Beginning today)
Beginning today
(I promise you)
Beginning today
(I give my heart to you)
From now on I will be right by your side
And I'd swear other things I'll put aside
From now on there'll be no one else on my mind
Beginning today (Beginning today)
Beginning today
And I'd swear other things I'll put aside
From now on there'll be no one else on my mind
Beginning today
Beginning today
(I promise you I give my heart to you)
Beginning today

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waaah!

while i was searching for monologues for kiki.. i found this.. and it just killed me..

A letter
by Emily Picha
Maria and her boyfriend have not been able to see each other for a few months since they met at a youth retreat. They have been keeping in touch via letters and phone calls, and this is a particular rough spot.


I'm better. Had a conference with myself. Just wanted you to know that. I have some questions. If we were able to see eachother more would it make it any better? If we were able to talk on the phone more would it make it okay? If we were able to talk about our lives instead of our feelings in our letters would it make it better? I don't know. I just can't end this. That would make me feel really horrible. But you're going to do what you're going to do. I'm sad and sick and sorry about your letter. And I'm sorry you've been depressed about this, I haven't because I've been ecstatic about the whole concept of you.

But if we stop talking now, what do we do when we see eachother and I have feelings for you still? Can I hug you? Kiss you? Or do I have to act like a saint because we're "friends?"

I guess I'll just deal with it when the time comes. If you want to stop writing you won't touch the keyboard. And I'll fight my hardest trying not to touch mine. I'll erase you from my address book. But you won't be erased from my mind.

I don't understand how you can go from being mooshy and "I want to hold you"-icious to wanting to be platonic. I don't understand how people can just STOP having "feelings" for eachother. That doesn't happen! I can't just install a stop sign in our intersecting lives (oh gee i'm gettin very metaphoric). If you want to come up here the week after school ends the doors are open. If you don't want to be involved then I guess you won't make the trip. I want you to hold me again. I want the chance to have my FIRST kiss. WITH YOU.

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pain

a symptom of some physical hurt or disorder

emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid

a somatic sensation of acute discomfort

cause emotional anguish or make miserable

there. proven my theory once again that i'm not meant to be happy for a long time. i'm still not sure though what to change or what to think because there are a lot of things that are different and a lot of things did change along the process. i'm sometimes thinking about how or why and what. i don't want to think. but keeping myself from thinking would give me headaches and a tremendous heavy feeling inside my chest that i'm no longer certain if it's something physical or something emotional.

i want to talk to them. or at least write. but i don't seem to be fit yet to do so. it was fun reading my past entry that has the same concept. i even thought of doing that but maybe not today.

who's singing?

in less than two hours i'd be going home.. i think.

and i've been stopping myself to write. but then again, i just can't resist to pour out my thoughts.

actually there are a lot of things to figure and straighten out. how? i used to believe whenever i write i'm able to do that but it just helps to release the feeling but it don't really give me out the answers to the questions i have.

i know how brain stimulation gives me the rush and having the lack of it for quite sometime now and being able to quench the thirst, i'm all giddy..

waaaah!!

for all the types of emotion that may apply to that applies to me now. the loneliness, happiness and insanity all rolled inside my chest. but the freaky part is that the happiness is the one that seems to be surfacing. this is scary even. oops, add fear! hahahah!

i'm used to things not going my way. i won't be surprised if all would just end up as a big pile of heap. so, there.

i would need time on my own. time to live for me for once. but of course if someone would like to come with me, i believe hearts will always have room for people. right?!?

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proof

inbox

thanks 4 getting my mind off things. btw, i'l be able to close everything today, and hopefully, you'll be ther with me to open a new chapter. take care din po..

don't be mad, pero di ako nakapagreply kasi i fell asleep, and i appreciate your honesty. there's nothing that would make me happier than to be with you. and only you.

let's keep this between us for now ok? i hope when you read these messages you'll think of me as someone who'll be there for you, i want a new chapter and i want you to be with me.

sent

dude, i just hope you don't get confused on what you really feel and what you really want. You just broke up. You had a number of years shared. I'd be happy to start a new chapter with you, but i can't have anything with you if you're still not certain with what you want. No hard feelings. No strings attached. I've got my own baggage. I'd just want you to be happy.. Promise.

I'm not here to mess up your mind or your feelings.. I'm just here for you.. Whatever you'd want to do with it would be under your discretion.

You promised you'd reply. You didn't. I'm not the type of person who has that much confidence who'd think that another person would appreciate me as i am. I'm taking a risk and so are you. If you're not ready to jump, how much more me. I've been tired of mind games. All i ask for is truth and honesty. Nothing more. I've been hurt a lot of times and sometimes i believe i'm numb. But there's nothing i can do. Maybe i'm just someone you'd appreciate when i'm there, but when i am, there's nothing really different.

I Should Tell You Lyrics

ROGER
I should tell you I'm disaster
I forget how to begin it

MIMI
Let's just make this part go faster
I have yet - to be in it
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell I blew the candle out just to get back in

ROGER
I'd forgotten how to smile until your candle burned my skin

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

BOTH
I should tell you,
Well here we go
Now we-

MIMI
Oh no

ROGER
I know - this something is, here goes-

MIMI
Here goes

ROGER
Guess so, it's starting to-
Who knows-

MIMI
Who knows

BOTH
Who knows where?
Who goes there?
Who knows?
Here goes?
Trusting desire - starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging - a shoulder a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins
So here we go now we-

ROGER
Oh no

MIMI
I know

ROGER
Oh no

BOTH
Who knows where - who goes there?
Here goes-
Here goes-
Here goes-
Here goes-
Here goes-
Here goes-

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hmpf!

i had something written already..

and i closed it accidentally without posting..

this just proves that i picked the right song for the day..

Bad Day
Daniel Powter

Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
Strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

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insane

i'm not sure what i'm doing righ now..

i can't even predict what i'll do next. i can't reason out why i did those things.. i'm going insane. maybe being numb is driving me mad.

actually, if i will step back and look at the things i've been doing, i'd even ask myself why am i doing these things.. they don't even add up!

well, it's closing time..

and i know who i want to take me home..

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from now on..

okay, i'll admit i'm not the best person to trust when it comes to keeping her word.. specially my promises to myself. but here goes..

i'll stop hurting. i'll let the numbness take over me.

bad.. maybe. but again it would be helpful for my "healing process". although, i have to admit that it's not yet time to think about it. it's actually rude to think about it already, but i just can't help to..

a lot of changes will take place. from my end at least. it would be too much to expect changes from the other side.

i'd like to put in a lot, specially to understand more why the picture, but then again.. "friends" took the best of me.. haay..

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iris

this has been my song for a long time. i was actually surprised i haven't entered it here yet.. so, here goes..

iris
goo goo dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

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cyclone loop

i had just went through the cyclone loop. but a lot of bumps and bruises are still on the way. i was about to jump out of this roller coaster ride but i think it would hurt more than just waiting for it to stop, although of course after the ride i'd be so dizzy it would be so hard to walk straight up. both ways i know i'd end up having broken bones.

.. it's again getting hard to breathe. the pain in the chest.. the swollen eyes.. and the numb body. the next loop might be too big for me to handle and i might get thrown out of the ride. physics. i might not notice it until after i feel the warmth of fresh blood coming out of me.

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still thinking..

i'm not sure what really happened.

i can't even answer simple questions anymore. questions that are supposed to be very easy to answer because i was there. i can remember the words, everything that we talked about and the funny conclusion we came to reach. but somehow there still seems to be questions left unanswered. things that i'm not sure what. my eyebrows are still crunched up together and i still have that little pout that tells my mom i'm deep in thought.

i was about to make a mistake awhile ago, just because i had time to think. okay, at least now i can admit that it will be a mistake if i've gone through with the idea.

again, waiting.. for answers.. for things to happen.

i can't describe or figure out what i'm feeling right now or what i'm supposed to feel after everything that has happened.

i'm not confused.. it seem to be the wrong word to use.

are there regrets? i'm also not certain. but also i still can't think of things that i should have done. and so far, i'm really quick when it comes to things like these..

ah.. yes.. there was this question i think i should have asked. but then again that would be too rude and hurting.. and the whole situation already hurts a lot. so, maybe it's just right that i didn't think of it that time.

come to think of it, he gave me the answers to some questions i'm still asking right now.. it doesn't really give me a smile plastered across my face, but it gives a tug in my heart.. in a good way..

yeah, i guess i should really work out on this just being happy thing. eventually, things will turn out the way it's supposed to, right?!

i know saying eventually would again put me in the waiting state.. but what the heck.. i should get used to it by now..

ha! what do you know.. "Torn" is playing the radio.. nice..

RENThead

over time..

Flash Slideshow

staying

so, i was not meant to face my reflection.

i'm okay now.. living my motto.. expecting the worst but not expecting.. i'm still waiting but it doesn't feel as bad.

i have to go to ortigas tomorrow.. i have a job offer! at last! woohoo! haay.. thank you Lord!

well, i just sang this song in my head.. with no apparent reason.. this is from "RENT".

Take Me Or Leave Me - RENT

Maureen:
Every single day,
I walk down the street
I hear people say: "Baby's so sweet!"
Ever since puberty
Everybody stares at me,
Boys, girls I can't help it, baby.
So be kind, and don't lose your mind
Just remember, that I'm your baby

Take me for what I am!
Who I was meant to be!
And if you give a damn,
Take me baby,Or leave me!

Take me baby or leave me!

Maureen:
A tiger in a cage
Can never see the sun.
This diva needs her stage, baby,
Let's have fun!
You are the one I choose,
Folks would kill to fill your shoes!
You love the limelight too now, baby!
So be mine, and don't waste my time
Cryin', "Oh honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?"

Take me for what I am!
Who I was meant to be!
And, if you give a damn,
Take me baby, or leave me!

No way, can I be what I'm not!
But hey, don't you want your girl hot?
Don't fight, don't loose your head,
'Cause every night who's in your bed?
Who? Who's in your bed?
Spoken: Kiss Pookie?!

Joanne:
It won't work!
I look before I leap.
I love margins and discipline.
I make lists in my sleep, baby.
What's my sin?
Never quit.
I follow through.
I hate mess but I love you.
What to do with my impromptu baby?
So be wise, 'cause this girl satisfies,
You got a prize, but don't compromise
You're one lucky baby!!!

Joanne: Take me for what I am!
Maureen: Control freak!
Joanne: Who I was meant to be!
Maureen: A snob yet over attentive!
Joanne: And, if you give a damn!
Maureen: A loveable droll, geek!
Joanne: Take me baby or leave me!
Maureen: And anal retentive!

Both: That's it!
Joanne: The straw that breaks my back!
Both: I quit!
Joanne: Unless you take it back!
Both: Women,
Maureen:What is it about them?
Both: Can't live, with them or without them!

Chorus:
Both: Take me for what I am
Joanne: Who I was meant to be
Maureen: Who I was meant to be
and, if you give a damn
Joanne: and if you give a damn you better
Take me baby, or leave me
Maureen: Take me baby, take me or leave me
Both: Take me baby or leave me
Spoken: Guess I'm leaving, I'm gone!

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in front of the mirror

tomorrow i'll face the mirror and i'm not sure what i'll see and what i'll look like when i start to walk away..

i have this picture in mind that i would see when i go in front and when i turn around.. but being the sarcastic person that i am, i won't be surprised if i'd see otherwise..

i'm nervous.. afraid.. i don't know what to think and do..

haaay.. i again, can't have a decent deep breath..

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stagnant roller coaster

i'm still clueless on what step to take..

but so far things are just getting worse but partly looking up.. does that make me just go back to where i was?!

i kind of know what to do when things come. but i'm presented with new worries and woes. so, i'm not sure if there's improvement. maybe i'm just still in the same state but not exactly on the same spot.

i don't want to take the matters into my own hands anymore.. it just makes me expect more. expect the worst but don't expect.

i've gotten over the expecting the unexpected state. but it still makes me think. a lot actually.

i'll just go where my shoes take me.. hahaha!

laughter has always been the best facade for me. the smiles. behind this smile is everything you'll never understand.

my chest still hurts.. i'm not sure if that's because of my heart or my lungs.. ha! can't breathe.. or can't live.. ?!?

i'm just wishing that one day i'd be able to write here without these feelings.

happy or sad, i can't say..

still waiting for things to unfold on its own so that i would be able to know the next part of the story.

impatience has always been my weakness. i really hate to wait.. actually that's making me sick.

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oblivion

there are things you just want to forget.. but at the same time you can't stop but reminisce those moments and seconds..

i'm on a drinking streak and i don't want to break it.. i feel like i don't want to break it but i'm not sure if i'd be able to afford it since i still have final exams coming up. but as of this moment i don't. regardless of who i'm with or what i'm drinking as long as i do..

there are actions and words that you would want to take back but you know you can't..

there are reasons for these actions and words that you have within your grasp but don't really want to know and admit that this is why all of these are happenning.

i'm at fault. and i don't know what to do about it. i could always think of the right things to do, the things that are expected of me to do, and the things that i'm not exaclty sure of.. now i'm thinking, maybe i should not give it that much thought.

i'm waiting for things to happen, things that i'm almost a hundred percent certain that won't happen. but i'm here waiting. hoping against hope? i'm not sure.. expecting? not exactly. i don't know..

confusion may be the apt word for everything that's been going on, but there's this sense of certainty in every emotion, action and words that saying that they're out of confusion would be telling a lie..

it would be nice to have someone to talk these with. without the fear of misunderstanding. but right now, there's no such person.. well, not that i know of..

i don't know what to do, what to want, what to expect, what to feel, what?!

"easy to fall, hard to forget" one of my many ailments.. i'm wondering now, how would i be able to reach the state of oblivion and when..

how do you stop yourself from believing something even if you know it's not true? i mean why do i keep on believing things that i know is not true? and how do you stop from believing?

one day, i'd forget everything..

one day, i'd be able to know the answers to my questions..

one day, i'd know what to do..

one day, i'd forget everything..

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false hopes?!?

ok.. so what now? it didn't seem to me that anything has changed. i can't help but live up with my motto..

i'm again trying to fight back tears..

is it my fault again?

haaay..

i'm sorry

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now what?!?

i just can't help but live my motto... haay...
this would be the last straw... i just don't want to get overjoyed all over again..

haay...

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to cry or not to..

these passed few days i've been telling people that almost all the aspects of my life are in ruins.

it's much easier to breakdown and cry than put up an emotionless face that would be the norm.

it's much easier to cry but it's as if the tears are tears too painful to endure and to release.

i have been welling them up but not really pouring it out.

it's very hard to have no one to talk to.. no one to pour out your heart to.. but what i'm doing now is much more difficult.. letting it out only through the finger tips.

i want to go on and type away but i also want to stop, because it's already getting harder and harder to breathe..


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another one bites the dust

it was my birthday then..
then it was the day before..
then it was the first of october going to the second..
now, it's almost everyday..
this has got to stop..
though it's breaking my heart.

Bolunji
Velcro

Sana'y di mo na lang sinabi,
Hindi ko naman tinatanong
Na kailangan mo pang isipin
Ok lang naman sa akin yon.

Ako'y maghihintay na lamang sa iyo,
Basta't wag lang, lumampas ng isang linggo

Dahil di pa naman ita ganun kamahal.
Kakakilala ko lang sa iyo.
Malay ko ba kung sasaktan/gagamitin mo lang ako.

Di pa naman kita ganun kamahal
Galing lang ako sa hiwalayan/iyakan
Sayang naman kung di mo ko pagbibigyan/
Sobra naman pag masaktan muli ako.

Sana'y di mo na lang sinabi
Na meron ka nang pagtingin
Dahil di pa ko ready na buksan muli ang puso ko

Maghintay ka lang,
Nandito lang naman ako.

Konting panahon pa...
Para makapagisip ako...

Wag na nating labanan pa ang ating nadarama
Bahala na kung saan tayo mapunta

die for a second

i need to pause.. bend my head and take a deep breath... because if i lift my chin, everywhere i will look there will be something that will either break my heart, or make me cry or just simply crush me.

these are the times that i would always wish for a hand to hold.. a shoulder to lean on..

i have my friends, that's true.. they're good people and sometimes they're all that i need.

but there are certain instances in life that you would need someone to care for you more than that of the usual.

i never thought i'd be liking this song... but here goes!!


All The Love In The World
The Corrs

I'm not looking for someone to talk to
I've got my friend, I'm more than O.K.
I've got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams but it's not all they say
Still I believe (I'm missing) I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world

I've often wondered if love's an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I can't criticize it
I have no hestitaion
My imagination just stole me away
(Still...) Still I believe
(I'm missing) I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world

Love's for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could I throw it away
Yeah I'm only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way
Yeah I need someone who really sees me...

(Don't wanna wake...) And i won't wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure
Then I'll give all the love in the world
(Don't wanna wake up alone anymore...)


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crying in the rain...

Life Support
Hale

Sarcastic smiles and fake hellos
We try to hide but always
Leave an open door behind
To escape from reality

It felt so sure but we said no
We're throwing lies at someone
We don't know, we don't know
From this reality

Why can't we risk ourlives
For something that we can't deny
We try to run something
We don't know, we don't know
Is this reality

Why are you crying

I feel sorry

I feel so sorry
For me........

image source

music of my..

Bolunjie
Velcro

SANAY DI MO NALANG SINABI
HINDI KO NAMAN TINATANONG
Na kailangan mo pang isipin
Ok lang naman sa akin yon.

Ako'y maghihintay na lamang sa iyo,
Basta't wag lang, lumampas ng isang linggo

Chorus:

DAHIL DI PA NAMAN KITA GANUN KAMAHAL
KAKAKILALA KO LANG SA IYO
MALAY KO BA KUNG SASAKTAN/GAGAMITIN
MO LANG AKO
DI PA NAMAN KITA GANUN KA MAHAL, GALING
LANG AKO SA HIWALAYAN/IYAKAN
Sayang naman kung di mo ko pagbibigyan
(sobra naman pag masaktan muli ako)

Sana'y di mo na lang sinabi
Na meron ka nang pagtingin
Dahil di pa ko READY na buksan muli ang puso ko

Maghintay ka lang, nandito lang naman ako.
Konting panahon pa...para makapagisip ako..

[chorus]

Bridge:
Wag na nating labanan pa ang ating nadarama
BAHALA NA KUNG SAAN TAYO MAPUNTA

[chorus!!]

I Know

Yasmien Kurdi

I don't need to own a fancy car
To drive with you around the city
I don't need to live in a palace like house
A simple home is enough for me
I don't need much
Only your attention
I had to hope
To make me feel that I am not alone

I know
Is you my life is worth living
I know
Is you my life is gonna be just fine
I know
If you each day begins with a smile

I don't really have to worry
Somethings won't workout for me
I don't really have to bother
Just as long as you here with me
I don't need much
Only your affection
To see me through
To make me feel that I am not alone

I know
Together we can make our dreams come true
I know
But through the years we won't be growing old
I know
Counting stars won't be so hard to do

There will be your always time
At the end of the tumble shine
Our love for each other never fails
Baby I just know
(I know)
I know
(I know)
I know... wooahh..
I know
(I know)
I know
(I know)
wooahh...

I don't need much
Only your affection
To see me through
To make me feel that I am not alone

guess the movie

more movies

loved Dakota Fanning! She's got the most beutiful and expressive eyes!! and of couse, robert de niro is still as brilliant as ever! i never knew until they told...

i love johnny depp!! and the boy who played peter was good! the one who played michael was so sweet.. and kate winslet did a good job!!

believe?

Birth Data for Laarni:
Birth Date........... September 18, 1984
Birth Location..... Batangas, Philippines
Sun Sign............ Virgo

Mercury Square Uranus with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees

Brilliant and original as you are, you can also be difficult and unpredictable. Close ties may complain they never know when you are going to show up or what you're planning next. You are easily bored and love people who can both stimulate and surprise you.

Sun Square Neptune with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees

Your father was either over- idealized or he was rejected as a role model. Either way, your concept of what a man should be is not based upon a mortal person, but upon an ideal. This may lead to unrealistic expectations in close personal relationships.

Mercury Trine Jupiter with an orb between 3 and 5 degrees

You have a quality people trust and you are often sought after as a confidante or an advisor. You have high moral and ethical standards and it is imperative that anyone you're close to is a person of the highest integrity. You prefer well-educated people.

series of unfortuante events

image source

haay...

Can We Just Stop and Talk Awhile
Gary V. and Kyla

Fancy meeting you alone in the crowd
Couldn't help but notice your smile
While everybody else around us is going about
Can we just stop and talk awhile?

I've been often told our world's growing old
And that friends are harder to find
Do tell me more about yourself
We could share a thought or two
Now who would mind?

Maybe then we could go for a ride
Drive down to the countryside
Get away from the gray
And frenzied hurly-burly of the city life

Early yet to say what lies ahead
It's the first day of the rest of our lives
Can we just stop and talk awhile
Get to know each other
Who are we to know?
Love could be waiting at the end
'Round that bend and so
Let's stop and talk awhile

Can we just stop and talk awhile
Get to know each other
Who are we to know?
Love could be waiting at the end
'Round that bend and so
Let's stop and talk awhile
Let's stop and talk awhile
Let's stop and talk awhile
Let's stop and talk awhile

haay.. expect the worst but don't expect na naman ang drama ng lola mo!

i'll be going back to school.. kinda excited but then again, cold water is being thrown to me everytime i see a batch mate.. haay.. ok lang..

see you in real life.. i've been there and it's no utopia!

image source

UP Fair

UP Fair

19 February 2005

I know it has been a week and i may not be that accurate but then again it had been a long time since i had the urge of writing about something. So, here.

As the years of my life taught me, February 14th will always be a day not to be really happy about. But until now i'm still not sure if this year was the same. In a way, well, in many ways, yes. It would be shameful for someone as pessimistic as I am to just have one way of making things look bad.. hah!

So, there. My brother texted me and told me that PnE would be playing for tonight's (feb14) UP Fair. I got so excited and told him to confirm. He then said it's true! So, there, I asked my mom permission and there, off to Diliman!

As usual I was late and so was my brother. As expected there were a lot of bands, some were even cool and PnE was the last. Not being a fan, my brother got sleepy and tired and bored while I was still giddy and excited. Of course, PnE played last. They played four songs, the crowd was wild, Vinci was not there, Jay was there and was so brilliant. The band played Ted Hannah while the crowd sings and no Chito to be found. Then when he came out, he has a tattoo or was that just henna (heheheh) on his right arm. It was cool! Although, I didnt really see the details. They played Harana, then Jay came out for Okatokat, then because Vinci was not around Jay played his (Vinci) part for The Yes Yes Show and was so brilliant! Then the crowd requested for one more song, they played Buloy.

So, there. My instincts told me to go to the back stage. I practically dragged my brother there because he really wants to go home already but his desire of making me happy won. So, we went to the back stage. And the stroke of luck, Chito and Kaye were just going out. I said hi, he acknowledged and said goodbye. I had to call Kaye, she smiled and acknowledged as well. I was reaching for the pentel pen in my bag and ask for an autograph but his saying goodbye, virtually kicked me out. So, we left.

Heart broken?!? In a way yes. In many ways, YES! I dont really love him, it would be cool to be his mistress though. Heheheh! But he broke my heart that night. Although I never really asked for anything and he didnt really say no. But not stopping and automatically saying good bye was like saying get lost, I'm tired that's why I layed off. It's a good thing I didnt bring my CDs or it would be more hurtful. There were a lot of things I failed to say and do because of being hurt. I was supposed to ask if any parokyano came, ask him to approve my friend request in friendster, look at his tattoo, and meet the other members of the band. But like i've said, after the rejetion, we left. I've thought if kiki was there with me maybe it would be different.

Haaay.. until now there's this crunching in my heart.

But good things happened after. The next day we get to watch The Phantom of the Opera. And it was superb!! I'm just wondering why it didn't make it to the Oscars. Maybe they're tired of musicals winning. But it was really a great movie. And again, it made me cry.

We bought VCDs too. Big Daddy and Autumn in New York. I never stopped watching Big Daddy and I didnt cry watching Autumn in New York.

Then, Noel brought a copy of My Sassy Girl... and waaaahhh!! I died crying.

I guess, I would have to conclude that yes, it was a typical valentine for barn... devastation.

the godfather

i had a godfather marathon this weekend..

enlightenning!!

heheheh!

image source

haaay.. yuki!

You're Yuki - the mouse.

Which Fruits Basket Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

soo cute!

it has been quite sometime since i took a quizzilla so here..

Your so cute anyone would think your cute. Even the
grown ups:) Probaly any boy would run up to you
with flowers and cute stuffed animals like
you;) Just look at you. Your adorable:)

What Type Of Girl Are You???(Amazing Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

jazz chant

we were assigned to create a jazz chant..
inspired by..

Don't Touch My Birdie
Parokya ni Edgar

Kapag ako'y nababato
Pinaglalaruan ko ang birdie ko
Ang cute-cute naman kasi
Kaya ko siya binili
My birdie is my best friend
Ang dami naming maliligayang sandali
Madalas ko siyang pinapakain ng birdseed
Mahal kita o birdie ko, 'wag kang lalayo
Don't touch my birdie!
Resist temptation please!
You don't have to grab my birdie
Just call it, and it will come!
Ang birdie ko ay nakakatuwa
Parang cobra na mahilig mantuka
Kapag nilabas na sa kulungan
Tuluy-tuloy na ang aming kasiyahan
'Di naman ako madamot talaga
Ayaw ko lang na hinahawakan siya ng iba!
Ang birdie ko ay medyo masungit
Konting hawak lang siguradong magagalit!
Huwag ka sanang magalit sa akin
Tuwing ang birdie ko ay aking hihimasin
Sana'y maunawaan mo
Mahal na mahal ko ang birdie ko
pati mga itlog nito!



so, here's our jazz chant..


We have a pet
He is a bird
We love to call him birdie, birdie, birdie
We love to touch our birdie, birdie, birdie
And another pet
She is a cat
We love to call her pussy, pussy, pussy
We love to feed our pussy, pussy, pussy
And then one day when we woke up
We saw our birdy dead
Pussy ate birdy
poor birdy, poor birdy

winner!

from beng...

much again has happened and though a little late and a few understandable typo errors, beng have this very refreshing theory.

Thanks, beng! aylabsyah!

ANOTHER OF BHENGS THEORY (sfx :mad laughter pls and thunder!!)
Message: we all think and accepted the fact that people
make mistakes,,, and before i used to tell my
self that in order to survive the dangerous and
mossy jungle of human relationship, one must
learn to admit that sometimes we are the
mistakes that people who became dear to us
commit.and it takes gutts to admit that in you
hangs a placard that tells the whole world that
hey world!! i am his/her mistake!!! crucify me!!

but now i defy that former theory of mine,,,
this time i came to realize that we actually do
not commit mistakes.. the term mistake and if i
may suggest thenn i consider it politically
wrong... hehehe... kidding aside... we dont make
mistakes,,, we make choices... again i say not
mistakes... the term mistake is determined
whether by set of standards rules and anwer
keys,,, but come to think of it.. in life there
are no definite standards on how to one is
supposed to be running his/her life. wat hurts
us and what makes us sad or makes us feel
uncomfortable and anything in between makes us
think that its because of that mistake,,. but
no... its called consequences, end result end
product that one must have to face. why? because
its a choice that you made maybe alone or with
another... but never a mistake... its a choice.

so why burden yourself thinking about mistakes
that would eventually eat you and consume you?
and why did we ever thought of that?? hehehhe
anyone whose braincells and neurons agree with me
or anyone was led astray by this feel free to
send me a message or post something that would
either atest or defy this. warning..this just one
of my few and occassional theories.. and lets all
be guiged,, ladies and gentlemen... that theories
reamin to be true until proven wrong... ciao!!!

from Ms. Dannie-Bie D. Beltran

lilo and stitch and superman

Here are the things about the movie that is so noteworthy.. hehehe!

• There's a poster of MULAN in Nani's bedroom
• There is a hidden mickey in Jumba's platform during the trial and in one of the shorts of the people in Lilo's collection of photos
• Stitch's saliva shaped like a "D" for Disney
• The note in Lilo's door means "keep out"
• Lilo and Nani's last name is Pelekai
• The name of Lilo's doll is Scrump
• Spot Dumbo in the movie

i'm not sure why i'm this much affected.. i'm not even a fan..

but when i read and saw his picture in the msn home page.. my heart
stopped.. and as if gasping for air i asked my officemates... "patay
na si christopher reeves?!"

waah!

My Place - Nelly - Lyrics

My Place
Nelly

[Nelly]
I used to pride myself on being the other man
But now it's flipped and I don't want you with no other man
Why can't you understand anything I'm offering
I gave you the world, but you just wanted arguing
>From the time I picked you up, until the time I dropped you off again
Even if flipped out on at the mall again
"It's all his fault again" that's what you tellin all ya friends
I ain't pointing fingers ma, i just wanna call again
See how ya day going I know they stressin on ya
I know them times get hard that's why I'm checkin on ya
It's yours truly ma, I got little message for ya
Anything he can do, girl I can do better for ya
Cause

Hook: [Nelly]
When we laugh or we cry it's together
Through the rain and the stormiest weather
We gon still be as one it's forever, it's forever

Chorus: [Jaheim]
Won't you come on and go with me (oh girl)
Come on over to my place
Won't you sit ya self down and take a seat
and let me ease ya mind girl
We gon do it our way (our way)

[Nelly]
I heard your friend tell a friend that told a friend of mine
That you was thinking that we should do it one more time
If this ain't the truth then hopefully it's not a lie
Cause I ain't got no issue with hitting that another time
We never had a problem with gettin it done
Disagreed upon a lot ma, but sex wouldn't one
Now check it I know you get excited when I come around and bite it
Quit frownin up and quit actin like you don't like it

I like it (I know you like), I like it (You really like it), I really, really like it,
I want it (You really want it), adore it (adore it), so come with me enjoy it

Hook: [Nelly]
When we laugh or we cry it's together
Through the rain and the stormiest weather
We gon still be as one it's forever, it's forever

Chorus: [Jaheim]
Won't you come on and go with me (oh girl)
Come on over to my place
Won't you sit ya self down and take a seat
and let me ease ya mind girl
We gon do it our way (our way)

Bridge: [Nelly]
Shawty where you been
Feels like a long time, long long time since I seen ya
Yes it has girl, and I know I said some dumb things to you before
But girl you know I didn't mean it
I didn't mean one single word
I never meant one single word
If I could take back every word I would and more fa sho
If I thought that you believe it
Cause you make my life so convinient for me

Hook: [Nelly]
When we laugh or we cry it's together
Through the rain and the stormiest weather
We gon still be as one it's forever, it's forever

Chorus: [Jaheim]
Won't you come on and go with me (oh girl)
Come on over to my place
Won't you sit ya self down and take a seat
and let me ease ya mind girl
We gon do it our way (our way)

image source

nice one

You are...Lilo! Your an angelic (or almost) little

kid, who loves animals!


What character from Lilo and Stitch are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

last song syndrome

Without You
Charlie Wilson

Without you
Mmm...hmm...
It feels like a lifetime,
A thousand days have passed by
Since I held you close to me
If I could see that smile from my friend
I know that I could live again
I need you here with me

Heaven knows what to say
Even though for right
Nw you're so far away
I hope and I pray
Somewhere in your heart I'll always stay

Girl, lately my sun doesn't shine without you
Never noticed what it feels like to be without you
Feels like I took my last step
And my last breath in my life ending
Had to say just what I was feeling, girl
'Cause my sun doesn't shine,
Sun doesn't shine without you

This is more for me than for you
Girl, I finally see there's no substitute
For what we have
Do you know how much I love you

Heaven knows what to say
Even though for right now you're so far away
Gonna tell you and show you
Do whatever I can do to get back to you

Girl, lately my sun doesn't shine without you
Never noticed what it feels like to be without you
Feels like I took my last step
And my last breath in my life ending
Had to say just what I was feeling, girl
'Cause my sun doesn't shine,
Sun doesn't shine without you

image source

That someday it would lead me back to you

Sunday Morning
Maroon 5

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends

That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you

And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow?

analyze this..

nothing much to do.. i don't want to sleep although i know i would be needing this for later..

i just had a look at the things i won't be able to get.. i had them maybe once but i wasn't aware i have them.. waah! i can't keep my line of thought straight.. wait.

ehem..

for first crush..


i hate you! for making me fall all over again and there.. leaving me hanging.. i sometimes wish i never saw you again. hoping i never had to feel it all over again. i was fine, i was okay. don't worry, i'm not miserable as you hoped me to be. i'm ok. i was okay even if i didn't know that you had a crush on me as well. waah! i hate you!

I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots. And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick-- it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh -- even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didnt call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - - not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all.


for the supposedly perfect guy for me..


i know it takes two to tango. i know it's not entirely your fault. i know i have a big part played in messing things up. maybe this is the way of torturing myself. or for me to learn my lesson. but no.. it's just that i can bring what was there before. no doubt what we had was sincere. i didn't cheat in whatever way. you didn't either. but i'm sorry.. i'm so sorry. you probably know how much misery i'm in right now and that with you i'll be spared from all these, but it would be unfair, it would be cheating on you and on myself. i can't even bring myself into saying "maybe someday" because no. i don't think there even will be someday.. i'm sorry. sorry for what we had and what we could've had or still have. being sorry is all i can be.

for the guy i loved.. and maybe still do..

there are many things that can make me hate you but i'm not sure why i can't bring myself to hate you that much to forget or erase my feelings and/or affection for you. there are a lot of things i don't know about you. i'm not sure if i just don't ask or if you just won't tell me. i'm here for you, that's all. i know at what point when things start to go wrong. it was so hard for me. i was so hurt but loving you didn't stop there. i'm sorry for all the wrong things i may have done that just brought you to the stand that getting back together will never happen again. i want to let go. i want to move on. maybe i have because now i can say that indeed getting back together will never happen. a glint of hope maybe i have but i'm almost sure that it will never happen. but i can't stop caring for you because you have been indeed so special. i want to thank you for the memories but please stop holding me back. you will always be special, in my heart.. always.

Until you release me I'm bound
Under ball and chain
Reminiscing our love as I watch
Four seasons' change

This loneliness
Has crushed my heart
Please let me love again

for my crush..

hi! thanks for diverting my heart from all the things i've been trying to avoid all these time.. i know there's no promise, there's even no hope, but thanks for making me smile.. making my heart stop for a while.. thanks for all the small things that i think doesn't really matter.. i still don't know what i want, i just want to enjoy the present feeling you bring me but something more? i don't know. i'm afraid to get to know you, i'm afraid to get close.. at the same time wishing this would happen, but then again maybe no. so there, thanks!

for the only one left..

where are you? my phone number with you is no longer existing. i know you greeted me for my birthday. you changed your phone number as well and i don't know what it is anymore. i miss you.. you're my only hope. haaay.. where are you?

i never thought

i know it was just a joke.. it's nothing to take seriously or personally but then again i was affected. in fact, gravely affected that i don't want to think about it when i can't stop but think about that silly story.. a fictional thing that has a very high of possibility coming true.. waah!

then they told me.. this is different since i'm now affected.. waah!

waaah!

memo

i fought the urge to go to the battle field today. i guess it would just be time for me to rest.

when will i come back? i don't know..

am i being afraid to face the war at hand? or am i just too sick and tired of all the hustle and bustle it brings?

the emotional turmoil it brings me as soon as i retreat to my camp is just so great that the wounds are nothing.

freaked out!

Le Freak
Chic

Ah, freak out
Le freak, c’est chic
Freak out
Ah, freak out
Le freak, c’est chic
Freak out

Have you heard about the new dance craze
Listen to us, I’m sure you’ll be amazed
Big fun to be had by everyone
It’s up to you, it surely can be done
Young and old are doing it, I’m told
Just one try, and you too will be sold
It’s called Le Freak, they’re doing it night and day
Allow us, we’ll show you the way

Ah, freak out
Le freak, c’est chic
Freak out

All that pressure got you down
Has your head spinning all around
Feel the rhythm, check the ride
Come on along and have a real good time
Like the days of stomping at the Savoy
Now we freak, oh what a joy
Just come on down, two fifty four
Find a spot out on the floor

Ah, freak out
Le freak, c’est chic
Freak out

Now freak

I said freak

Now freak

All that pressure got you down
Has your head spinning all around
Feel the rhythm, check the ride
Come on along and have a real good time
Like the days of stomping at the Savoy
Now we freak, oh what a joy
Just come on down, two fifty four
Find a spot out on the floor

Ah, freak out
Le freak, c’est chic
Freak out
Ah, freak out
Le freak, c’est chic
Freak out

parang binuhusan ng isang timbang tubig

woohoo!

ayoko na!!

para na akong tanga!

sobrang affected ng mga simpleng bagay na walang kwenta!!

waaaah!!

tears for my cake

i'm good at messing things up..

i'm capable of turning myself invisible.. even during the times i don't want to.

i can't stop but wonder why or how things are the way they are..

i want to cry but i can't because no one would be wiping them away..

i want to shout but i can't because no one would hear them anyway.

i wonder why i feel this way when everyone around me expects me to be happy.. my birhday season has got to stop. it has to stop!

for me to forget the wretched day i was born, for people to stop wishing me a happy one and when they ask how it went, i can't answer straight because i never really had one.

i'm not the grinch nor oscar the grouch, though i love color green, i'm just seeing things as they are.

expect the worst but don't expect

the way how i will always see life.

behind the laughter and the smiles are tears falling with no one to wipe them dry..

i guess i'll never learn, loving people and giving them your all and in the end they never really loved you in the first place.

it hurts.. it will always hurt..