ilocos escapade day 1: pagudpud, here we come!

october 17, 2007

we can barely do our jobs the shift before the flight.. can't wait! we were giggling and all that laughing.. nothing and no one can wipe away the smiles from our faces..

even if we didn't have any sleep (aside from borris), we were so energetic and lively!

it was our (me, eloisa and tina) first time to board a plane.. hahaha! we were taking pictures everywhere!

we had a very cute FA.. Jay.. haaay.. heheheh!

our first and unforgettable quote.. the FA (not Jay) was giving out the usual announcements before landing. and then said, "The weather in Laoag is.. (sounds like someone thinking very hard).. fine."
bwahahahhahahhahhaha!

we have no idea how we'll get to pagudpud.. so, we asked around, and there! we were able to manage and find Polaris.

on the bus from Laoag to Polaris, we met a guy who was able to identify us from the plane.. imagine our noise level! he's a friend of the owner of Polaris.

in Polaris, we met, LEO (not his real nick name, we just can't say his real one), VER (same with leo, but we think his real name is Everett), and RAFFY (this one we got, easily).

our excitement made us forget our tiresome journey.. we headed to the beach at once! but we slept early, 8:00 PM!

unfortunately some of the people in manila forgot that i was in vacation. i was receiving work related text messages and there was a problem already.. oh well, workaholic that i am, i did what i can do.. but that's not much. the next day, i will leave my cell phone in the room!

weeeh!

uploading pics from pagudpud!
i'm still thinking how to sort it!
waaaaah!

i'll be doing the video on the weekend..

haaay.. almost made me cry.. almost

45 things a girl wants but wont ask
for, though i personally ask for some
of this..:
1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?


6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends
together.


KEEP READING


1 1. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more,
deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her
more than you, deny it. fight back and
hug her tight so she can't get to her
friends. it makes her feel loved.


Ar e you thinking of someone?


16. Always hug her and say I love you
whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the
waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about
her.


One last thing you need to do to show
her you actually do mean it.


21. Open doors for her, walk her to
her car- it makes her feel protected,
plus it never hurts to act like a
gentleman.
2 2. Tell her she's your everything -
only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is
something wrong, ask her- if she
denies something being wrong, it means
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so
just hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25-kiss her in front of OTHER girls
you know!!!!*


WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE
AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26-don't lie to HER.*
27-DON'T cheat on her.*
28-take her ANYWHERE she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good day
at work {or school}, and how much you
MISS her.
30-be there for her when ever she
needs you, & even when she doesn't
need you, just be there so she'll know
that she can ALWAYS count on you.*


ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER
BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT


31. Hold her close when she's cold so
she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close
and kiss her.*
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will
give her the hint that you want to
kiss her).*
34. While in the movies, put your arm
around her and then she will
automaticall y put her head on your
shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her.


REME MBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE
WITH HER NEXT


36. When people DISS her, stand up for
her.*
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell
her you love her.*
38. Lay down under the STARS and put
her head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your
heart, Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she rests
her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her HAND.*
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your
arms as long as possible*


MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED


41. Call or text her at night to wish
her SWEET DREAMS*
42. COMFORT her when she cries and
wipe away her tears.*
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you
love her.*
45.sit on top of her and tell her how
much u love her and then bend down to
her face and kiss her while sitting on
her.

yo u..ll never know when she needs just
a lil more love

back to the real world

just got home from our 5-night stay in Ilocos. and it's not that long as most thought it would be.

i would want to write more about our escapades there, but i'm too time constrained right now, because as soon as the plane landed in manila, all i was thinking about was work.. and i still haven't made up for all the work i missed during the vacation. hopefully tonight i would be able to finish everything. haaay.. well, if not for this job i won't be able to have that vacation in the first place, right?


i want to insert pictures too when i write about everything. since i don't have a digital camera of my own yet, i don't have any pictures yet. and i want to edit the videos i took first. so, 'till then!

just wait for my entry... i just hope i would be able to remember everything. well, the pictures would be able to remind me.

haaaay.. back to work!

avoiding pain

why are Christians avoiding pain? When it does come to pass and it's part of living life?

am i a masochist for wanting those hurtful things?

i want the hurt of falling inlove. i would like to know the pain of losing someone because of death.

i was never able and i guess never will cry to my mom regarding my heartbreaks. well, because, it would just end up, her scolding me, worse, let our pastor know. eeeewww!

you need to have a Christian boy friend.. and you need to finish your studies first. but we don't have the money to send you to school, and we don't really trust the boys your age at church.

rapture.

but i would be asking myself, what if? what does it feel like? is it that painful? am i strong enought to move on? how will i treat our memories together?

one question to be answered when thingking about marrying someone..

do you love this person enough to be able to stand the pain of lossing him forever? create more memories that would make it harder to let go?

love and death.. the hurts i would like to have. at least, once in this life.

i want to cry again.. but for different reasons. i want to feel and have emotions again.

TV´s Best Couples

i don't know everyone here. but it's really cool..

finished ally mcbeal

i was able to finish ally mc beal.. at last. the dvds were with me for more than a year. and it doesn't have season one. good thing is, i have watched most of season one.

it would be very difficult to pick a favorite episode.
but i really love it when they dance to barry white.

i can't help but cry during the last episode. i'm really not good with good byes. haaay...

i guess, it's good that it ended that ally has no boy friend. or else, it would not be ally.

aside from ally, i love john cage.. and richard fish!

random questions

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of wayYou just get most guys - even if you're not trying toGuys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secretsNo wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

You Are a Dalmation Puppy

Kind, bright, and very energetic.Firemen love to pat your little head.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Your Japanese Name Is...

Oki Rokujochigusa

What's your Japanese Name?

Your True Love's Name Is

Zachary S.

What's Your True Love's Name?

Your Flirt Quotient

You are 60% Flirt

Are You a Flirtatious Woman?

my secret crushes

i'm not sure why i don't tell my friends that i like these guys. maybe because i don't really really like them or, i often say bad things about these people. . bad! but there..

secret crush #1: mickey mouse
okay.. when i first saw him, i already told my friends that i have a crush on him. in less than 5 minutes after seeing him, i already got his name.. i really think he's so cute. but we all know i was just crushing when he's there.
then, i got to know him a little better. he's a snob.
then, i got to know hime a little more better. he's still a snob, but i learned personal things this time. he's kind of, pathetic.
now, uhmm.. we're like almost friends. he asks favors, he tries to get my attention with no reason really..
but i don't really like him, right? hehehe!
that's why he's in this list. oh yeah, he has a girl friend, who i sort of know.. and know more about.. so.. waaah!

secret crush #2: master sanity
i'm not a big fan of his features.. or so, i tell myself. but love his hairstyle. i'm really afraid of him. we never had the chance to talk ever andthen the dream. this freaky dream that he was so into me. and he's still not my crush back then.. i don't even think of him. i think, i just paid attention after the dream.. then i forgot.
then, he became my master.. sort of. then, we talk. and i'm still afraid of him!
this is a secret because, i really like her girl friend, although, i'm not really sure if she loves him as much. and he has personality traits that i have heard of that are really mean. most probably comes with the lineage.

secret crush #3: new crush ng bayan
i liked his features ever since. but he has a ring around his left ring finger. silver. not much interaction.. just one usual "hi!" smile. then, the meeting. but haven't seen him since. most probably he already forgot about me.
secret because.. i'm not sure. he's too good to be true. but i'm still wishing he's not yet married. bwahahahaha!

questions from gemmerss

1. Story behind your profile song?
- i only have a profile song in multiply.. story behind it.. i am one.

2. Whats bothering you right now?
- work.. so-called love life..

DESC RIBE YOUR:

4. Wallet?
- leather

5. Wallpaper on your computer's
desktop?
- windows xp default.. tinatanggal ng mga kapatid ko kapag iba nilalagay ko.. hmpf! can't wait to get my own

6. Background on your cell phone?
- pon and zi

7. Jewelry worn daily?
- kampai bracelet

8. Where was your default picture
taken?
- in friendster, at home (dining). in blogger, at home (garden). in blogdrive, at frank's intramuros pad. in multiply, at robbie's house in meycauyan.

9. Eyes?
- dark brown

10. Doing this weekend.
- i'm still not sure.. sleep

11. Wearing?
- shirt and shorts... pambahay!

12. Where are you?
- bahay

13. Listening to?
- amber - back into you

14. Have you ever kissed anyone named
Alex?
- nope..

15. What do you smell like?
- heaven! bwahahahha!

16 . Eating?
- none

17. What is your favorite thing?
- hmm.. machines excluded.. pen. but please, don't give me one.

18. Do you remember your dreams?
- seldom

19. Do you believe that dreams come
true?
- where else do we get deja vu?

20. Do you believe in miracles?
- yeah

21. Do you burn easily in the sun?
- nope.

22. What's something you wish
you could understand better?
- john vincent tuazon and myself, together

23. What did you do last weekend?
- sleep

24. Who do you miss?
- ba_rockz, kampai, menan

25. Have you ever been in a fashion
show?
- nope

26. Orange or apple juice?
- apple juice

27. Do you like the person who took
this survey before you?
- yup.. brainy.. hehehe!

28. What was the last text message you
received?
- D k n 2mwag 2log k n ata. Inaantay ko ln c red pnta ko hospital takot kc ko pgwla ako ksma e.

29. What was the last text message you
sent?
- I miss you.. Kya lng, d mo q miss eh. In fact, ur sick of me na.

31 . What is the closest thing to you
that is blue?
- water jug

32. What was the last thing you ate?
- mom's macaroni

3 3. Last person you hugged?
- karen

34. Whose house did you go to last
night?
- i was at the office..

35. Who was the last person you
visited in the hospital?
- can't remember.. batche's dad, i think.

36. Do you like someone right now?
- LIKE? a lot... hehehe!

37. What do you wear more shorts,
slacks, jeans or sweatpants?
- shorts at home.. jeans when going out.

38. What is the last movie you
watched?
- the girl next door in vcd

39. Where did you get the shirt
you're wearing?
- from my brothers! hehehehe!

quick realization

it would be unfair to say i have never experienced love.. i have.. once.. and i don't think i'll ever get to experience it again..

cute survey from nessha

1. May pag-asa ka ba pag may gusto ka
sa
isang taong 3 years ang layo sa edad
mo?
:: ako pa! loved by all ages! kaya lang sila ang walang pag-asa sakin.. medyo freaky kung 3 years younger.. older, pwede..

2.Maiinis ka ba sa isa mong kaibigan
kapag crush niya ang crush mo?
:: depende sa level ng friendship namin at ng pagkaka-crush ko dun sa crush ko... bwahahahhah! may ganon!

3. Ibibigay mo ba lahat para lng sa
mahal mo??
:: hmm... what do you think? haaay..

4.Wha t do you think of Sam
Concepcion??? ?
:: cute.. sounds like a girl in his song.. but i heard him interviewed on the radio and he was asked to sing.. he does have a voice.. cute..

5.F a ll Out Boy or Maroon 5??
:: maroon 5, any day..

6.What do you think of "girls making
the first move"?
:: it's alright.. as long as their not making the move on my man.. heheheh!

7.What do you think of pipol?
:: is this an abs-cbn survey?! i rarely watch tv.

8. Anung magiging reaction mo kapag
nalaman mo yung mahal mo may
girlfriend/Bo yfriend na?
:: ano'ng nagbago?! ano gagawin ko? ewan.. bwahahahah!

9. Panu kung tinext ka ng
girlfriend/Boy friend ng mahal mo,
nagagalit bkt mo daw tinetext ung
boyfriend nya??
:: kasi may load ako..

1 0. Pick one:::
----1.LOve suCks!
----2.LOve HuRts
----3.LoVe Is HapPy
:: love sucks

11. How is the weather today?
:: rainy.. hate rain.

12. panu kung hinihingi ng kaklase mo
yung picture ng mahal mo ibibigay mo?
:: bakit sya sakin hihingi? be resourceful gurl! heheheh!

13. Panu kung hinihingi ng schoolmate
mo
ung cellphone number ng mahal
mo? ibibigay mo??
:: depende kung bakit..

1 4. eh cnabi niya sau kukunin nya na
lang harap-harapan kasi nga ayaw mo
ibigay...
: : okay..

15. Panu kung niligawan ka ng mahal mo
eh bawal kang mag-girlfriend/boyfriend??
:: i would let him know.. to see if he's up to the challenge.. for a change! letche!

16.Wha t do you think of "ligaw"?
:: missing?! bwahahaha! never ask permission!

17. What do you think of "ligaw sa
Text?
:: kung dun lang, corny ha? dapat isa lang yun sa mga ways nya..

18. What do you think of indians?
:: nothing much

19 .What is your favorite Maroon 5 song?
:: she will be loved.. sunday morning.. this love.. they're actually my favorite foreign band

20 . What is your favorite gwen stefani
song?
:: sweet escape! bwahahahha!

21. your fav. kelly Clarkson song?
:: because of you

22. What do you think of street food?
:: missing it!

23. What do you think of Cadbury
chocolate ??
:: salmonela?! bwahahahahha! yeah, right! love it!

24. Ung crush mo ba nasa featured
friends mo?
:: wala po.. siblings and pamangkins ang featured friends ko eh.. :)

thanks nessha!

50 questions

50 questions to boggle the mind in
your past & you
do miss them.

1. First off, what's your name?

- Laarni C. Lopez

2. Okay, but what does your best
friend/s call you?

- barn, larn

3. Have you ever kissed someone with
braces?

- nope

4. Who is the fourth received call on
your call log?

- ronald

5.If you could change your eye color
what would it
be?

- green or hazel

6. What is the wallpaper on your phone?

- pon and zi

7. How many pillows on your bed?

- 4

8. Who was the last text message you
sent to?

- batche

9. What color is your shirt right now?

- pink

10. What was the best thing that
happened to you
last year?

- 2006.. can't think of the good things.. too many bad things..

12. Who's the fourth person on your
contacts list?

- lei

13. When was the last time you cried
from laughing
so hard?

- sobrang tagal.. can't remember

14. What school did you attend in
elementary?

- Zion Center of Knowledge School and Jesus Is Lord Christian School

15.do you have a crush?

- a lot

16. Who was the last person that made
you laugh?

- eloisa

17. Do you like Quiznos?

- ito ba yun?
at syempre, research ko talaga.. resto pala.. heheheh! McDonald's na lang.

18. Who do you make fun of the most at
school?

- tia mitch

19. What's the longest time you've
ever talked on
the phone?

- 12 hours and so

20. Do you think you've gotten more
handsome/
pretty since grade school?

- definitely

21. Have you seen your bestfriend cry?

- who is my best friend? i'm a loser.

23. Do you dance in the car?

- yeah!

24. What do you think of hunting and
fishing?

- adventure.. haven't tried.. but really scared to do so..

25. Do you and your bestfriend act
alike?

- loser!

26. What is a noise that you cannot
stand?

- when metal meets metal

27. Does your mom vacuum early in the
morning,
when you're sleeping?

- nope

28. Are your parents in love?

- yeah..

29: What does your 9th txt say?

- Kelan at san g2win bday nung dalawa? Sby n b?

30: Who sent it?

- batche

31. Would you rather sleep at a
friend's or have
them over?

- both

32. When was the last time you wrote a
note, and to
who?

- medyo matagal na.. pero malamang last month lang.. kay eloisa

33.are you in love?

- still checking..

34. who do you miss most?

- many people and things

35. What do you smell like right now?

- something.. may sakit kasi si naomi eh..

36. Do you have a hard time admitting
you're
wrong?

- nope.

37. Who was the last person you held
hands with?

- djames

38. What shoes did you wear today?

- planning to wear sneakers

39. What makes you lose your appetite?

- pressure

40. What color is your laundry
basket/s?

- black

41. Last person you kissed?

- where?

43. Do you own any Levi pants/jeans?

- nope

44. Do you think those stores are too
expensive?

- yes

45. How do you like your steak?

- well done.. hehehe!

46. Who's in your house right now?

- family

47. Where did you get your last bruise
from?

- ewan

48. Where did you last go out to eat?

- brothers burger

49. List three things that keeps you
going in life.

- faith.. yun lang.

50. Is there someone you can't stop
thinking about?
- yes...

facing reality

CAUTION: i have my period and it's raining outside.

why can't i face the truth?
why can't i accept the facts?
why can't i mean what i say? or at least write..
let me rephrase that last bit..
why can't i say what i write?

okay, i can say them, but not to the people who are meant to hear those words.

i'm wrong. i'm the bad person here.. i'm the one with the personality problem. it's all my fault. whatever pain and difficulty i may be experiencing, i've brought this to myself.

nobody's perfect. but you perceive yourself to be. i can't tell you things i want to say. i'm afraid. i've always been. like i've said, from the beginning, i'm really scared.

what now? wait again.. ?! for what? let time pass by and make it seem that time has made everything forget. who forgot what? time forgot everything..

i'm tired, but i can't seem to do anything about it. i can't stop. am i addicted? maybe.. but..

define: addiction

• a state of being dependent on a certain substance, which is harmful or dangerous for the physical or mental health of the person, for his social well-being and economical functioning of the subject
• dependence on a substance (such as alcohol or other drugs) or an activity, to the point that stopping is very difficult and causes severe physical and mental reactions
• Strong emotional and /or psychological dependence on a substance such as alcohol or drugs that has progressed beyond voluntary control.
• A strong need for food, drink, people, or other things, which is extremely hard to resist.

just the thought of stopping makes me cringe.

can't live with it, can't live without it..

the promise of a better set up is just around the corner.. i just can't make the turn.

i'm sick and tired of drama, but this is where it leads to..

everyone else has given up. there are things they can't understand. i, myself can't, how much more them? well, they're not supposed to be involved in the first place, right?

i understand their care and concern, but in reality, there's nothing much they can do, but stand watch.. be entertained.

haaay.. this is like a never ending story that is desperately asking to end.

words from ally mc beal

disparage

• express a negative opinion of; "She disparaged her student's efforts"
• To degrade by unequal marriage, as when a man or woman married someone who was not their peer--ie a countess marrying a simple knight would be considered to be disparaged, and her honor reduced accordingly.

after the first "ber"

september has finally ended.. and i'm done. the worst has passed. hehehehehe!

i think everyone forgot about me already. stitch, king kong and chito.. it's a good thing.. right?

and i'm not really in the mood to look for new characters to talk about.. to think about.

there are a lot of things i'm looking forward to this october.

• bacolod.. or pagudpod.. or bacolod.. heheheh!
• the trip to jerusalem game in the office
• the senator stepping down her position
• and a whole lot more.. hehehhe!
  

haaay.. life..

and it came to pass..

not that i anticipated it..

okay, a little.. but there. not much expectation as usual. thus, the surprises really made me smile..

thanks to everyone who remembered.. you know who you are!

king kong just climbed up the charts! stitch went down, as usual.. chito stays on the same spot.

hugs to 'stig and pink 5 and borta sr. and lots of love to ate faith.. she may never know it.. but haaaay.. thanks!

missed kampai a lot..

a month of silence

and i'm currently having short term memory loss..

okay.. i do remember a lot of things. but they're supposed to be forgotten. so, why write about it?

a lot of things are actually about to come an end.

king kong.. a little. i think. i sort of hope..
stitch.. not sure about this though. i know it has always been up to me, so, i guess, this would be my call. right? the question is how.
chito.. he's just there because of mom. but then, naaah...

i need to be alone. we all need some time to be alone, right?

the senator and constituents are against me.. so, there's an ending too. i think.. too bad.

master yoda will be going too..

because of the season, i'm again, trying to fix my life. i know i can't, on my own. i would need all the help i can get.

pray..

it would be fun to sort things out in writing. but then, i already know the answer, before i ask the question.

for quite some time now, my YM status has been,

"If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?"

.. and i have received a number of reactions. others were able to identify where it came from. but so far, my favorite answer is..

"Enough is enough when it no longer matters if you love each other."

Haaay.. It actually gave me hope.

I'm not sure when I will be able to get my act together. Maybe this year. Or the next.

I will probably end up alone and lonely in the process. But happiness is a choice, right? I would need to work out the "alone" part. It sounds impossible, but feels like reality.

haaay... i hope, the right things will eventually make you happy.

playing the game

.. again, i'm at the losing end. but i'm smiling. almost.

13

- glad to be able to wear my sneakers again!
- went to work early, but didn't bother to bring clothes.. wrong move!
- finished 4400! 'stig!

14

- didn't take a bath when i had the chance.. wrong move!
- the big red tagalog e-mail.. one down (antonym of "one up")!
- rained cats and dogs.. with lightning and thunder.. viewed from the 34th floor..
- the Burgundy Island
- kulitan with king kong
- went to stitch..
- watched "The Love Story".. even how hard I try to stop it.. tears fell.
- no sleep

15

- 4 hours of paid sleep.. no repercussions yet.. but i have this huge feeling it's another.. wrong move!
- Trinoma trip with borris, eloisa and jeremy.. ditched stitch in the process.
- went home.. for a change!

@ work - not hoping..
@ school - what?!?
@ home - who are you?!
@ love - ... huh?!?
@ money - no sense of direction
@ faith - hanging by the moment..
@ life - can we go a little faster?!
@ friends - never alone! almost.
@ self - blech!

Aloha au iā ‘oe

okay.. so... well.. now... waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!

do i really have what i want?!

am i supposed to be happy now?

i think, i am...

is happiness really just a state of mind?!

oh, well..

i think i'm okay..

during the storm

i haven't been online for the passed three to four days because i was not home, because of the weather, a storm.. yeah, right!

i have been staying at borris, mark and mae's place.. and for the record, during my stay there, we didn't drink a single drop of alcohol. okay, i'm not sure if i will be proud of that.. but there!

that's the reason of the silence..

but not that silence. when i think about it now, it looks funny. but then, it was difficult.. almost sad. i know he would not break.. and, i hope and try, neither would i.

but it's the weekends again.. and i hated last sunday. i wished i was out, doing something less stupid.

now that i killed king kong.. i'm afraid to admit that i miss him, because i know he doesn't. maybe that's why.. i fought a koala and lost.

i killed king kong

i want king kong dead. i need him dead.

okay, cueboy will only get half of the idea. but that's the point right?

well, because of the turn of events, i ended up killing king kong. i think it's already long over due. he should have died long ago. didn't have the heart to kill him.

now that i do. there. the only thing left to do.. is bury him.

i know it would be fun to leave his dead body there and let it rott or just throw in newspaper on top of his body and take pictures, but i think i need it burried. it doesn't need to be a decent burial. i don't even need the ceremony, but i need the after party.

i need to know how.

and the thought just came in.. i need help from stitch. i don't think he can make much difference. i'm not sure now what he's supposed to do. so, maybe, i just thought of him.

back to burrying king kong.. how?!

apathy? hate? ... forgetting...

delete!

the file has changed. do you want to save the changes?

are you sure you want to send king kong to the recycle bin?

are you sure you want to delete king kong?

yes.. i need to..

need to look up to keep the tears from flowing..

pathetic excuse

posting the results of personality quizzes here is my pathetic excuse of an entry..

i've been avoiding myself. avoiding thinking.. thus, avoiding writing..

okay, reality, it would be impossible to avoid thinking, specially me.. so, i guess it's more of avoiding finalizing my thoughts. that's what happen when i write. my thoughts get a little organized, thus i would be able to think more.. and sometimes, if i'm lucky, come up with a conclusion to what's happening, inside and outside of me.

i love being in front of the computer.. browsing.. being online. but as i flip through the pages, there's always this question, "aren't you going to post a decent entry today?!" thus, browsing for cute/interesting personality quizzes to be able to post the result.

i gotta go.. b@d+12!p just entered the house.

addicted to personality quizzes

i'm not really sure what ENFP means..

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ENFP)

Your personality type is enthusiastic, giving, cautious, and loyal. Only about 8% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 6% of all men You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

nothing forever.. again..

which sad love quote (that i made up) are you?

"my love for you ends as the rose petals falls" Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

how pathetic..

You Are a White Rose

You represent youthfulness and purity. Your vibe: Sweet and heavenly Falling in love with you: is like falling in love for the first time

What Color Rose Are You?

because it's the easiest to show..

What is your favorite emotion to show? pics what does the world see

HAPPINESS! YOU LOVE TO SHOW HAPPINESS AND YOU TRY TO BRIGHTEN UP OTHER PEOPLES DAYS BECAUSE IT MAKES U FEEL GOOD OR YOU ARE HAPPY BECAUSE YOU FEEL THAT YOUR LIFE IS GREAT.
Take this quiz!


Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

half expected this result...

Your Reputation Is: Mean Girl

You rule through teasing and intimidation.. Yet, people would give the world to be your friend

Do You Have A Bad Girl Reputation?

tragic.. as always..

What anime kiss are you? (with pics, girls only sorry)

the 'goodbye' kiss. usually the most tragic but the most meaningful. shared when two lovers are meant to be apart and will never see each other again. AWWW!!!! Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

for more of my quiz addiction, check out my quiz blog.

where are you?!?

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well. But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating. You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

painful tears came out

for the longest time that i've been wanting to cry because of all the things that has been happening and those that i'm anticipating to happen.. i was able to manage, one tear on the right eye and 2 on the left.. and that was it! the first tear was actually painful.. physically.

honestly, i wanted to cry more. and it was the perfect setting because no one was home but me. but then, i wasn't able to produce a 4th tear.

the simpsons movie

in our no-sleep-no-rest streak.. today, eloisa and i watched "the simpsons movie".

no regrets! it was really funny. the lines are so witty, just like the show itself. and the thing is, it has a story! hehehehe!

watch it!

*too tired to write more.. :'(

wearing high heeled boots

... for almost 24 hours straight is going to kill your feet.

.. good thing, i've got (and it feels good to know that one has) good friends.
.. bad thing, there are things that hurt more than sore feet.
.. good thing, there are still things that would make you smile and even laugh out loud.
.. bad thing, there are still things that would make your tears flow.

saying sorry for nothing in particular, but for everything i have caused someone is one of my early steps in saying goodbye, in letting go.. which, would mean, i'm in deeper $h!+ than i have imagined.

and it comes down to this...

Your Birthdate: September 18

For you, love is a feeling that lingers for really long time - even after a relationship is totally over.In fact, you still make have strong feelings for the first person you fell in love with. You usually are reluctant to end relationships. And sometimes you're the last to know that things are ending! Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1 You are most compatible with people born on the 9th, 18th, and 27th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

meet gabriel...

mind game.. i won!

1.What's the best love story
you've ever watched?
** the notebook

2. Do u think you're ok?
** yeah.. and bowing head slowly..

3. Song playing at the moment?
** transitioning from Christina Aguilera's "I Turn to You" to "Dear Mr. President" by Pink

4. One song to describe current
relationship?
** unfaithful or lips of an angel

5. Accessories you usually wear?
** bracelet

6. Fave color(s)?
** green, purple, blue..

7. Ever donated blood?
** nope

8. Last place you went to?
** glorietta

9. Last person u went out with?
** people.. eloisa, boriss, mark and karen

10. The most exciting sport?
** UFC!

11. Ever had a permanent tattoo?
** nope.. how i wish..

12. Movie u want 2 watch?
** hmm.. land of women

13. Any piercings?
** wala po

14.The most romantic gift ever
recieved?
** wala pa.. at wala na yata..

15. Act on stage before?
** missing it actually..

16. Struck by lightning before??
** not yet

17. Danced with your loved one before?
** yeah.. not as good as i thought it would be, actually..

18. Ever wished you could turn back
time?
** naman! kahit may limit, okay lang..

19. One song that's meaningful to you?
** torn

20. Last person you met for the first
time?
** can't remember the name..

21. What will you be doing tomorrow?
** trabaho.. trabaho.. sana sumweldo ng makapag-shopping at maka-gimik

22. Ever thought of robbing a bank?
** yeah.. almost had a plan..

23. One thing you totally regret??
** one lang?!

24. Do people like you?
** most.. or they just appear to like me.

25. What was the last game you played?
** mind game.. i won!

26. Someone who means a lot to you at
this moment?
** none.. maybe king kong, but not really..

27. The color of your mobile phone?
** black and silver

cool questions at last

1. may lumipad na bang ipis sa mukha
mo?
- can't remember.. heheheh!

2. hinalikan ka na ba bigla ng crush
m0 sa lips?
- opo... hehheh!

3. naging classmate m0 na ba yung ex
m0???
- hindi pa.. never.. di na siguro mangyayari..

4. dinedma ka na ba ng bf/gf mo?
- madalas.. di nya gets eh..

5. kinalimutan ka na ba ng bf/gf mo?
- di ko alam.. siguro..

6. panu kung hindi ka binigyan ng
allowance ng parents mo?
- di ko rin sila bigyan ng allowance pag dating ng sweldo! bwahahahahah!

7. panu kung napatingin sayo yung
crush mo habang nakatitig ka sa kanya?
- smile lang.. tapos tingin sa friend nyang mas cute! bwahahahha!

8. panu kung dalawa kayong mahal ng
mahal mo?
- magsama sila.. sawa na 'ko sa ganyang set up.. o kaya.. dalawa rin silang mahal ko! bad!

9. panu kung nagsasaya ka tapos
pinatugtog bigla yung song na nagpapa-
alala sayo sa ex mo na mahal mo pa?
- kebs! tuloy ang saya.. syempre ayaw magpahalata sa mga kasama..

10. panu kung nawala lahat ng
kayamanan nio?
- meron pa ba?! nasan?!? wala nang mawawal.. matagal ng wala!

what if..

11. nakita mong may kahalikang iba yung
bf/gf mo?
- let them see me.. kiss ko yung ka-kiss nya.. tapos kiss ko sya.. tapos alis.. winner!

12. nawala pera mo habang nagsha-
shopping?
- uwian na!

13. nakakita ka ng bloody knife sa
cabinet mo?
- woaw! takot ako sa dugo.. malamang hinimatay ako..

14. nde ka sinip0t ng bf/gf mo sa araw
ng monthsary/anniversary niyo?
- may usapan ba?! malamang nasa maling location ako.. bwhahahaha!

15. may dumaan na multo sa harap mo?
- "pu+@n9 !n@" pero pabulong lang..

16. dinededma ka lang ng nililigawan mo
pero tumatanggap xa ng regalo galing
sayo?
- hmmm... may kilala rin ako'ng ganito.. hindi pa naman ako nanliligaw eh..

17. may nagsuicide nang dahil seo?
- woaw! he/she is sick! walang kwenta kinamatay nya... hehehehh!

18. tumawag si sadako?!
- gusto ba nya ng sub?! pwede ako!

19. nagpakita sayo ang kaluluwa ni
elvis presley?!
- so, you're really dead?! isang "burning love" naman dyan.. video ko lang.. tapos upload ko!

20. nagka-crush ka bigla sa fwend mo?
- more group hug! bwahahahaahah!

21. nakisilong sayo yung crush mo kase
umuulan tp0s wla xang pay0ng per0 ikaw
mer0n?
- shucks! allergic ako sa payong kaya malabong mangyari 'to.. but just in case.. sya paghahawakin ko ng payong!

22. may nagtext sayo na papatayin ka
daw nia?
- reply ako: "san tyo mit?! go fastest!"

not in the mood

for quite s0me time now, at least two days, i've been meaning to write a letter. but just here. for him..

but there are always things that stop me.

yesterday. because what i would be writing would probably too defensive and too pissed.
when i got home. there are unwanted visitors.
now. they're already up, and they're getting in my nerves.

i always thought of writing it during working hours. but then.. there would be too many eyes that will see.. and there's a lot of things to do.. really.

there will come a time i would be able to write the letter. i have too. i need too. everyone got their letter.. i think. and he so, deserve one from me..

haaay.. as i've told Pink 5 and stig yesterday at the deck in glorietta, "i need other things to think about aside from work."

then, i contemplated on the other aspects of life..

i then, realized, much needs thinking about of.. but, like work, i don't want to think about it and it seems to be pathetic thinking about them..

that would include, finances, family, so-called love life, religion..

so, what's left to think about...

i thought of fiction.. bwahahahhaahh!
then, thought of, friends.. who?!? where?!? when?!?

there.. i think, i would have something to think about, aside from work.. i hope...

waaaaaaahhhh! stop kidding yourself! you can't help but think about work and the tasks you are about to do and the stinking fact that after much effort you will not be able to meet the standards and be regularized in that position, because you simply don't measure up, and you're jinxed!

explanation

i'll admit it. i'm really scared. i don't want to be in her wrong side. maybe she was just really having a bad day.. or something. waaaah! i'm really going over my head. all the negative thoughts are pouring in.. and i can't stop it.

i need her to write another entry in her blog that would be after what happened and i hope, please!, that it's nothing about me!

i sure hope she won't make a big deal out of it..

because, i will have no chance of explaining myself to her. and i really don't want to explain.. if i explain out of nowhere, she would know that i'm reading her blog. i'm thinking what would be my codename. waaaaah!

i really don't want to be part of it! please!

and even if she confronts me with it, i might sound too defensive. and i'm really not comfortable explaining myself to people i'm not close to.

oh well.. i can't please everyone, right?

it's not like i was doing nothing at that time.. and besides, it was already outside my shift.. haaaay..

maybe i'm more scared if she will tell that to bossing.. he really seems to be someone who doesn't take explanations. and it's really irritating to explain yourself to someone who is not capable of understanding you..

please! i'm really thinking of worse things that could happen..

i'm afraid that if there would be someone that would confront me regarding what happened, i would ask if he/she is also asking for an explanation or just letting me know that he/she knows that it happened.

fcuk! $h!t! it's really supposed to be nothing.. i'm hope i'm the only one making a big deal out of this.. please!

waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!

really scared.. really.. what would happen then?!? my jinx..

Get Your Sexy Name

no lying quiz

1. last beverage:
>> water

2. last phone call:
>> credit card company

3. last cd played:
>> zsa-zsa zaturnnah sound track.. all comes in mp3 nowadays

4. last time you cried:
>> really cried?! june 31

5. last text message to:
>> joray

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS.

1. green
2. blue
3. purple

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU.

1. Made a new friend?
>> yeah

2. Laughed until you cried?
>> tagal ng hindi.. huhuhu

4. Met someone who changed your life?
>> haaay.. yeah

5. Found out who your true friend?
>> yup

6. Is there something you want to tell
someone?
>> marami sila at marami ring sasabihin

7. How many kids do you want to have?
>> never thought i'd reach that point in my life.. but just in case.. 2

8. Do you have any pets?
>> none

9. Do you wanna change your name?
>> nope!

10. What did you do yesterday?
>> hindi natulog at tinapos ang hp7

11. Last time You had pizza?
>> forgot! ang tagal na pala!

12. What time did you wake up today?
>> mga 1:30

13. What were you doing at 10:30 p.m?
>> trabaho.. o petiks.. a little of both

14. Name something you CANNOT wait
for?
>> death

15. Last time you saw your father?
>> can't remember.. heheheh!

16. What is one thing you wish you
could change about your life?
>> financial status, family principles

17. What are you listening to right
now?
>> the bloomfields

18. Have you ever talked to Tom?
>> just read about him

19. Who's getting on your nerves right
now?
>> si kingkong, si muji, si bossing.. sige na nga, di na masyado si kingkong

20. Most visited webpage?
>> blog ni jedi master, bwahahahah!

21. Coke or Pepsi?
>> coke

22. Have you seen anyone naked in the
past week?
>> huhuhuuh! wala po!


if you answered honestly to all these,
repost as

NO LYING QUIZ

come on!

i'm really pissed off! and i really don't want to write at this state.. but i want to write about it as well.

guess, i'll browse a few pages and get back here..

after about a little more than an hour

okay.. i've created my simpsons avatar.. heheheh!
uploaded it in friendster.. removed a photo.. answered some messages.. ahh.. yeah.. read the latest entry in jedi master's blog. and answered a survey posted in the friendster bulettin board..

so, am i ready to talk about it? let's see.. i'm not that infuriated anymore. but i still can't help but feel bad about them. haaay..

haaaay.. nah! i'm not fit to write about it. on to other things!

cracked another one.. the last

okay, so, it's not the last book i will crack.. but it's the last of the harry potter series!

waaaaaah! if i wasn't riding the jeepney.. tears would have fell as i finish the book. (haay.. again, fighting tears. a new hobby?!)

and i so badly want to release those tears! well, it almost.. but i followed a friend's advice and looked up.. heheheheh!

i'm not to write any spoilers here.. i might twist the facts.. hehehhehe! because i'm not that much of a fan. it really is a good read, that's why i got hooked. but up to the point of just reading.

i haven't got any decent sleep yet since this week started, and i really planned to sleep today. unfortunately, i wasn't able to put the book down. okay, i did fell asleep, because i really had no sleep yesterday (not counting the sleep i got while travelling). i dozed off for about an hour or less and it was already time to get up. i'm really determined to get some sleep tomorrow. thus, i need to get home early. hmmm.. no hobby?! maybe.. bwahahhahahah!

the saga was really great. and it's really sad to think that it has come to its end. one question though, and i'll look it up again, what was harry's job?! just curious. oh, well.

start to work!

confession: anonymous reader

i limit myself into only two posts per day.. but i really need to write this one.

the confession: i have been browsing the blogs of my "supervisors".

okay.. so, i don't really see the harm there. or the wrong thing i've done, for that matter.. but i just don't want to be caught. or i don't want them to know that i know their blogs and that i can read whatever they have been writing lately.

our account has a lot of "history". and are still conjuring a lot.. i'm not sure if i'm already part of it.. but i doubt if i'm not. because they're really good at it. well, not just the sups.. most of the people.. but don't take me wrong, i do love these people.

maybe, it's just that, if i'm caught viewing their blogs, i wouldn't know what to say.. or how should i react. or if they ask, "what are you reading?!?" i can't just answer, "your blog." and it would be a big insult to their intelligence to say, "nothing."

so, here, i opted to view it at home.. and now, i've learned a lot more! i haven't read much though.. just identified who they are in real life.. and maybe, if i would get the urge again, i would visit their entries and know what's hapenning..

i really meant to get just a quiz.. but, curiousity got the best of me.. so there!

now, i'm thinking, if they were in my shoes.. and i learned that they have been viewing or reading my blog.. well, goodluck in deciphering! heheheheheh! this is actually the most transparent entry i've ever done. and i don't really mind. they would just end up assuming.. and most of the part, they would assume wrongfully.

i even had a friend, who i thought, was able to read right through me, read my entries here. and he was nothing but baffled. he said that he can't seem to figure it out. well, actually.. that's how my thoughts really are.. it's something you can't really figure out. because i, myself, am confused about it. heheheh! there are a lot of context clues though.. but you need to stick around long enough to know.

so, back to my confession.. okay.. what are blogs for anyway.. they sort of serve to be a diary or a journal, but you write it knowing that they're for public viewing.. so.. what would you really feel if someone is reading it.

okay.. this all started because a friend of mine thought that one of these bloggers wrote an entry about me. and it's really far from a positive note.. so, i read the entry and then, discovered, although the description would really depict me.. it wasn't me. i'm a hundred and one percent sure..

it's really scary to be part of their world. i really want to go back. but i'm already here. there must be a reason. i have found one already.. but i can't find the reason for having that reason. so, it's like i'm back to square one. plus, i can't get my mind off my jinx!

oh well.. that would be a totally different story.. haaay.. missed writing!

my clones

34 of the MOST Spontaneous Questions

34 of the MOST Spontaneous Questions
Ever, BE HONEST.

1. What do you want for your Birthday?
a surprise party

2. Who will be your next kiss?
he doesn't want it

3. When was the last time you went to
the mall?
was that about a week ago, with my mom and brother, when shoe shopping at trinoma and watched HP5

4. Are you wearing socks right now?
nope

5. When was the last time you went out
of town?
june.. hindi counted yung nung weekend kasi taga-bulacan rin ako..

6. Have you been to the movies in the
last 5 days?
nope.. :(

7. What was the last thing you had to
drink?
water..

8. What are you wearing right now?
shorts and shirt.. pambahay

9. What was your last purchase?
i forgot!! can't think of it.. was it shoes?! kung counted ang food, breakfast

10.What was the Last food you at ate?
tropical hut's corned beef breakfast meal

11. Who would be the person you would
call if you were up in the middle of
the night and couldn't sleep?
he wouldn't answer the call..

12. Have you bought any clothing items
in the last week?
nope..

13. do you have a pet?
none

14. What was the last sporting event
you saw?
can't remember!! waaah!

15. If you could be anywhere right now,
where would you be?
in his dreams.. bwahahahahahahahahah!
hmmm.. beach!

17. One thing you hate about yourself?
complicated

18. What's your favorite soup?
sopas! bwahahahah!

19. Do you miss anyone?
a lot..

20. Last play you saw?
anatomiya ng korupsyon.. while my alternate was on

21. What are your plans for the day?
go to work.. and work.. haaay.. get that accomplished feeling.. and read HP7!

22. Last person you msg'd?
text?!? didn't reply, so why bother?! ym.. roy

23. Ever go to camp?
yeah.. never like i imagined

24. Are you an honor roll student in
school?
shamefully, yeah...

25. What do you know about the (your)
future?
i'll grow old alone.. so, i want to die young..

26. Are you wearing any perfume or
cologne?
it wore off already..

27. Where are your best friends
located?
haaaay...

28. What grade are you in?
technically, in college.. practically, working!

29. How old do you want to be when you
have kids?
old enough to send them to school..

30. Who was the last person who made
you cry?
i rarely cry now.. scary..
so, the last would be, myself

31. Do you have any tattoos or
piercings?
nothing out of the norm

32. Who makes you smile?
whomever i choose to make me smile..

33. How do you like your soda?
ice cold!

34. Do you like hot sauce?
a lot! the hotter the better! hehehhehe!

a little step back to my college days

1. ANO'NG STUDENT NUMBER MO?
* 2001101945

2. ANO ANG FIRST CHOICE MO NA COURSE?
* Computer Engineering

3. SECOND CHOICE?
* wala

4. ANO COURSE MO NA NATAPOS?
* wala pa! bwahahahah! pero ComEng pa rin..

5. NAG-SHIFT KA BA?
* hindi po

6. CHINITO/CHINITA KA BA?
* hindi noh!

7. NAKAPAG-DORM KA BA?
* since day one!

8. NAKA UNO KA BA?
* never.. pero di sila naniniwala na never..

9. NAG-KA 3 KA NA BA?
* oo naman!

10. LAGI KA BANG PUMAPASOK SA KLASE?
* hindi!

11. MAY SCHOLARSHIP KA BA?
* once, for one term, academic scholar.. half lang..

12. ILANG UNITS NA ANG NAIPASA MO?
* di ko alam.. basta 60 to go..

13. NANGARAP KA BA NA MAG-CUM LAUDE?
* hindi.. wanted to enjoy my college life..

14. FAVE PROF
* sir resty.. astig!

15. WORST TEACHER:
* sir sy! bwahhahah!

16. FAVE SUBJECT/S:
* logic circuits 2

17. WORST SUBJECT:
* feasib.. bakit ba may ganon?! OJT na lang!

18. FAVE BUILDING:
* hmmm... south.

19. PABORITONG KAINAN:
* manang chicken.. tapos naging kantunan.. tapos.. wala na! yosi na lang!

20. NUNG ESTUDYANTE KA PA MAGKANO BA
ANG BINABAYAD MO SA JEEP?
* bwahahahah! Php 6.00

21. LAGI KA BA SA LIBRARY?
* hindi noh!

22. NAGPUNTA KA BA SA CLINIC NUN?
* madalas dati.. as in tulog lang!

23. MAY CRUSH KA BA SA CAMPUS?
* marami!

24. ANU-ANO ANG MGA NAGING PE MO?
* hmmm.. dance tsaka sports something.. the rest, ticket na!

25. KAMUSTA NAMAN ANG BLOCK NYO?
* okay lang.. mga graduate na sila..

26. MEMORIZE MO BA ANG ALMA MATER SONG
NIYO?
* chorus lang.. actually "M and the I and the T" lang..

27. MEMBER KA BA NG VARSITY TEAM?
* good luck!

28. NAKA-PERFECT KA NA BA NG EXAM?
* opo.. sobrang pawis ang tumagaktak..

29. DITO KA BA NATUTONG UMINOM NG BEER?
* not really.. pero dito nahasa! kampai rules!

30. DITO KA BA UNANG NAINLOVE?
* hindi una.. pero pinaka matindi.. oo

okay -- not!

i'm not really in the mood to write. i would rather listen to songs or read HP7. but i'm here writing.

okay, i'm confused, but not really.. i'm hating chito, but not exactly.. i'm even talking to him right now. i'm missing stitch, a lot! but, i don't actually want to see him right now. i like being with kingkong.. but i don't want to be together with him.

talk about confused! and i call myself okay..

and i'm all bringing it to fate and chance.. then choice.

haaay... loving my friends. rather new. the old ones are out of reach. i think. or maybe because they're sort of involved or would just bring complications more.

oh well.. i think as long as i consider myself "okay", i'm fine.. right?!

naaaah!

right timing

i received this text message last night from mommy joey of rushers ml. and it was perfect. i forwarded it. nothing follows.. not much, i hope.. hehehehe!

Take chances, take a lot of them.. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be... Your mistakes make who you are... You learn to grow with each choice you make... Everything is worth it... Say how you feel always... Be you, and be okay with it...

there you go! think!

wanted: the incredible absorbing man

okay.. i just really wanted to have that title in one of my entries.

it's not a hundred percent suited to what i want to say or feel, but it can suffice...

going home no longer feels like going home. (i just want to let that out.)

i'm not so sure where i am again. i can be lost. i'm sort of in a cross road, that seem to lead to one place. misery. and it's not like i'm not in it yet.

there are things i want to sort out. but i don't want to be thinking about it. i want to write through it. but i'm afraid to see what would come out. although, most of the time i've been doing it.

i guess, let's just focus on the title..

haaay.. the incredible absorbing man. i actually think i've found him. but he will also lead me to misery, in a way.

but life is not perfect. there are a lot of factors in it that would make you happy and a lot that would make you sad.

Parokya Ni Edgar - Absorbing Man

You can beat me up,
Call me names
Steal my bike, go insane
I don't care if you rearrange
My face, I don't mind

You can burn my toys
And the books I read
Still it won't matter to me
Cause with one big gulp
I'll swallow it up and smile, oh yeah

Chorus:
Because I'm the incredible absorbing man
And I'm gonna do the best I can
Till you finally understand

I am calm, I'm serene
Not a word is getting through to me
When you scream

I'm a sponge.I soak it up
All the crap you put me through
Won't make me give up

I will never falter, I will never quit
You'll never find another
Who'll put up with your shit

okay.. so, i really don't do these things.. but what really hit me a lot "You'll never find another who'll put up with your shit" . but the shit described in the song is sooo not my shit.. bwahahahahahahah!

haaaay... bad trip! i want to write about what's really bothering me.. but then again, i'm here at home. so, i'm borbaded with the )&**&^^$%^#@#$%^*%)*&*&%$#@#$$!!

haaaay...

working it out

friends - unexclusive dating (but no intimate physical contact)

as complicated as it may seem, it's better that we have something to hold on to..
maybe this is what we're really looking for.

i'm starting to smile again.. for real.

love advice

i'm again in search for the right words to hear.. and then, i would realize, all along i have been shouting them at the back of my mind..

i can't be the one to say good bye.. i would just come back. i need to be the one left behind.. so, i can't follow.

waiting.. it's killing me..

para akong nangangapa sa dilim, but in reality, sobrang nakapikit lang ako..

i'm really afraid to open my eyes..

so, i go blame the darkness..

but where will this leave me?

i will look like a fool..

but i am a fool.. pretending to be sane..

back to square one..

but i live in square one.

drowning in invisible tears

it hurts. but i can't cry.
"you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.."

i want this to end, but i'm afraid how..

i no longer mind being alone. it's better to be lonely alone, than lonely with someone..

i guess i'm ready for solitude now. i've accepted the fact that i would grow up alone.

love is wasted on me.

i'm back to the lonely me. but i decide not to leave the stage. the show must go on. the back stage is on fire. good thing i have my make-up and costume on.

shrek the third

Online Videos by Veoh.com

my song..

Unfaitful
Rihanna

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer (a murderer)

No no no no

Yeah yeah yeah

i love you. goodbye.

this was the content of the note Larry left Ally..
this is like something we both have right now..
i can't fight anymore. it's not that i'm tired.. but it's just the way to be. stop and walk away.
my one reason to stay doesn't suffice anymore.. in fact, i think this was the reason i was looking for to leave.

so i guess, this is it. for once and for all.. i love you. good bye.

back from hiatus

haay.. a lot of things already happened.. and it has been just about a little more than a month..

wanted to play key words.. but that would really take a very long time.. and i really think the key words won't suffice..

okay.. i can't help it..

friends summer emotion love life

bwahahahahah! how general can i get?!

it's good to be back on line!

try to walk away and i stumble

and when i thought i was waiting in vain. when i was a day close to settling everything.. there he goes.

his message was so insecure. i'm not really expecting that from him. i always thought he was so certain that i would not walk away..

so, i stumbled.

eytsphee~