17 August 2008

mind occupied, time flies

one of the tips i got in how to move on or at least stop from moping around, is to read..

fist of, my gayness has been fulfilled. i was able to finish orosa nakpil, malate by Louie Mar A. Gangcuangco. of course, as usual, i was in tears in some parts of the book. it was during angelo's revelation of who he is in ross' life. haaay.. i just find those kind of things unfair.

then, i realized my therapy would not be working this way.. so, i resorted to another book. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Bloom. Haaay.. i managed to stop the tears from flowing but there were a lot of points i would wish to keep. and i would really want to have a copy of my own. i just borrowed from Kuya Pat.

Okay, the therapy was kind of working but i was still thinking a lot and still not being able to get some sleep.

Then, i found a new book in Book Sale. Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. Love it! It was a breath of fresh air. Hahahahahahaah! I really am a frustrated murderer.

I'm still in need of another book. I bought one but it's a romantic novel, so, it might just bring me to tears again. Any suggestions?

11 August 2008

I feel, like you don't want me around

Always by Saliva



I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind"

It's telling me all of these things

That you would probably hide!

Am I your one and only desire?

Am I the reason you breathe,

Or am I the reason you cry?



Always, always, always,

I just can't live without you!



I love you!

I hate you!

I can't get around you!

I breathe you,

I taste you!

I can't live without you!

I just can't take anymore

This life of solitude

I guess then I'm out that door

And now I'm done with you!



(Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you)



I feel, like you don't want me around

I guess I'll pack all my things

I guess ill see you around

It's all, been bottled up till now

As I walk out your door

All I can hear is the sound of



Always, always, always,

I just can't live without you!



I love you,

I hate you,

I can't get around you!

I breathe you,

I taste you,

I can't live without you!

I just can't take anymore

This life of solitude

I guess that I'm out the door

And now I'm done with you.



I love you,

I hate you,

I just can't live without you.



I wrap my hand around your heart,

Why would you tear my world apart?



Always, always, always, always.



I see, the blood all over your hands

Does it make you feel, more like a man?

Was it all, just a part of your plan?

The pistol's shakin' in my hands

And all I hear is the sound!



I love you,

I hate you,

I can't get around you!

I breathe you,

I taste you,

I can't live without you!

I just can't take anymore

This life of solitude

I guess then I'm out that door

And now i'm done with you.



I love you,

I hate you,

I can't live without you!

I love you,

I hate you,

I can't live without you.

I just can't take anymore

This life of solitude

I pick myself off the floor,

And now I'm done with you.



Always,

Always,

Always.

my birth chart

This birth chart shows the positions of the planets of Laarni Lopez

The planets in the signs

The position of the planets in the signs of the Zodiac has an influence on the character of the individual and these influences form a large part of the individual psyche.

Sun in Virgo

She is ingenious, sharp customer, discerning, crafty, diplomatic. To the point and subtle in speech, she is a real diplomat.

Weaknesses: petty and over-critical. Over-attention to detail, nit-picking and fussy.

Moon in Gemini

Sharp intellect. She likes literature, adapts to all situations and social groups. Work in contact with the public, literary occupations, travel.

Weaknesses: lack of follow-up of ideas, indecision, goes back on decisions.

Mercury in Virgo

She discusses, deduces and judges. She reasons logically and accurately.

Weaknesses: she is easily irritable and nervous. She tells off and criticizes. She is impulsive and manic.

Venus in Libra

Happiness is found in marriage, living with another. She is devoted, tender, affectionate, gentle. Love is a matter of charm, rapture, delicacy. She cannot hide her love, but needs legal recognition. She wants all the marriage rites.

Weaknesses: she likes to be worshipped, enjoys flattery and likes to be surrounded by her inner circle. This causes a few problems after marriage.

Mars in Sagittarius

Fights against principles, society or a philosophy. Reasoning, ability to explain things, logic and debate.

Weaknesses: she goes to excess in the battle against moral or other principles. Has a somewhat revolutionary spirit, is intrepid but presumptuous.

Jupiter in Capricorn

She has great professional aspirations. She likes to direct, organize. She is correct, virtuous, conscientious and worthy.

Weaknesses: without doubt too avaricious, eager for gain.

Saturn in Scorpio

Observant, self-controlled, unforgiving, tough, methodical, a researcher, an investigator. Lots of courage, self-assurance and can keep her cool.

Weaknesses: makes no concessions or compromises. She can become a fanatic of a creed, a party, work or a religion.

Uranus in Sagittarius

She is shy, delicate but proud, bold and lively.

Neptune in Sagittarius

Likes long voyages, things foreign, water.

Pluto in Scorpio

Great sexual activity.

Sign and ascendant

Virgo ascendant Libra

The planets in the houses

The planetary positions in the houses express the facts relative to destiny.

Sun in XII

Professional success in isolated occupations. Work in laboratories, scientific research, police, information services, hospitals.

Moon in IX

Highly imaginative. Prolonged studies, is intuitive. Professionally successful abroad, or in import-export or as a diplomat. Contact with foreigners. Long journeys. Ability to learn foreign languages.

Mercury in XII

She has difficulty expressing herself, especially when young. Does not talk much, she does not speak for the sake of it. She works in remote and quiet places. She is discrete and philosophical.

Venus in I

Big-hearted. She is generous, altruistic, devoted, warm-hearted, lovable and sweet-tempered. She is drawn towards the Arts, music, song. She likes gatherings, parties. She has big emotional highs. Peaceful life in love.

Mars in III

Lively spirit, alert and ingenious but sarcastic, critical, provocative. She is quarrelsome. Expresses herself easily, does what she wants: success is at the end of the road. She is capable and acts quickly.

Jupiter in IV

She likes and believes in justice. She is an optimist and is generous. Professional success is rapid and helped by the family. Family life is very important for her. She likes comfort, well-being at home. She knows how to entertain in style and above all with pleasure: her house is always open to friends.

Saturn in II

If she is rich, will always give the impression of being in financial difficulties. If she is broke, she gives the same impression - this time with reason. She has difficulty earning money: her work is tiresome and laborious.

Uranus in III

She is curious and inventive. If she does not study for a long time, she will be self-taught. She is intelligent, with a strong personality. She does not like routine and will regularly go on mission for work purposes.

Neptune in III

She has a lot of imagination, high ideals. She is nostalgic. Likes studying.

The houses in the signs

Ascendant in Libra

She will never leave the beaten track. Married and not living with a partner, if she gets involved in politics it will be in a recognized party and naturally one in power etc...

She is sociable, diplomatic in everything. Likes the Arts.

House II in Scorpio

Financial success will come either through a job connected with death, (funeral director, forensic surgeon, monumental mason etc...) or thanks to an inheritance.

House III in Sagittarius

She will study for a long time, will be erudite. Very intelligent, an open and independent spirit, will have a connection with foreign countries. Fertile intelligence.

House IV in Capricorn

After working all her life to obtain her objectives and finally having reached that goal, she wants to retire in peace and quiet and to have a retirement full of contemplation, with few tasks, close to nature. As she was very careful with money all her life, she will administer the properties she has acquired.

House V in Aquarius

Doesn't like routine and the banal. She is romantic, full of fantasy and imagination. She is also a friend one can count on.

House VI in Pisces

Job in commerce. Weak point: the kidneys.

House VII in Aries

Love-at-first-sight, marries without thinking. Doesn't want to change her habits, so domestic quarrels to be foreseen.

House VIII in Taurus

Happy old age, natural death. Inheritance.

House IX in Gemini

Likes studying, is open to anything new, accepts and recognizes her errors, always develops in a positive sense. Likes travel, discovery, meeting new people and knows how to appreciate them.

House X in Cancer

Likes contact with the public, the crowd. Profession that involves meeting a lot of people. Professional success thanks to sense of duty and application to her work.

House XI in Leo

Friends are not always chosen by chance. Even if the feelings of friendship are sincere, these friends must automatically bring something - professional help for example.

House XII in Virgo

Work in a research lab.

Interplanetary aspects

The interplanetary aspects have a strong influence on the character and disposition of the individual and, consequently, on her destiny.

The conjunction aspect is variable and depends above all on the nature of the conjoint planets.

-261 Opposition Moon - Mars

She is very emotional and is driven to do things by her emotions. She does not think things over or through in a given situation. She is irascible and sometimes violent. Marital disputes.

213 Trine Moon - Venus

She is gracious, sweet and gay. She likes pleasure and entertainment, but also the Arts. She needs tenderness, loves and wants children. She appreciates home life in a comfortable atmosphere.

186 Sextile Venus - Mars

She is amorous, not a peaceful and calm lover but a passionate one with a strong temperament. She is demonstrative in love, and likes healthy pleasures. She enjoys life to the full.

136 Conjunction Sun - Ascendant

-116 Square Mercury - Uranus

She likes polemic, to criticize and, above all, to contradict. She lacks diplomacy and tends to dissipate her energy. She cannot stay in the same place, likes change even if it means a backward step in her professional career.

70 Conjunction Jupiter - Neptune

She is very generous and altruistic, helping people in difficulty or sick people. She knows how to listen or, at least, how to give that impression. She is a dreamer, with lots of imagination: she likes the Arts.

54 Conjunction Mars - Uranus

She possesses exceptional energy. She is impulsive but bold. She takes on risky enterprises for the good of the community, with all the energy she possesses. She has a great need of her independence, likes her freedom of action.

-50 Square Sun - Neptune

Her imagination turns to internal day-dreaming: she is easily influenced, and complicates life unnecessarily. She does not bring plans to a conclusion. The dream-world is enough.

46 Sextile Neptune - Pluto

43 Trine Mercury - Jupiter

She is intelligent, has big ideas: she is tolerant and has a strong sense of justice. She has good judgement, good sense and has her feet on the ground. She has the "gift of the gab", and likes to speak, she also likes literature. She is erudite and will normally be successful socially.

-39 Opposition Jupiter - Midheaven

She likes to vaunt herself too much, is pretentious. Only one thing interests her: herself - and she brings every conversation around to herself. She has highs and lows in her professional life.

-27 Opposition Neptune - Midheaven

She lacks assurance, self-confidence. She does not always choose the right path.

21 Sextile Jupiter - Pluto

She likes to direct, is intelligent and is an organizer of the first order.

-17 Square Jupiter - Ascendant

She does not listen to those around her, she is pretentious and goes to excess when eating.

-13 Square Sun - Moon

13 Trine Pluto - Midheaven

She uses all her energy to succeed professionally. She has a good sense of organization and authority.

-10 Square Neptune - Ascendant

She is very easily influenced and fragile. She suffers disappointments.

02 August 2008

new songs, for me at least

Healing Star by Dishwalla



I know how much you've paid

It just seems so insane, anyway and

I know we're not the same

I wish I was the best thing that you've ever had



Chorus

Let me be your healing star

Let me take you far from there

And take you anywhere

Let me be your healing star

Let me take you far from there

And take you anywhere



I know it felt like home

The rats inside your bones took you far away and

To miss it seems insane

To wish it was the best thing that you've ever had



Chorus



I know I'd be happier

I know I'd be happier, inside you

I know I'd be happier

Inside you, Inside



Chorus



Just let me be your

Just let me be your

Just let me be your healing star

Ooh, Ooh, Ahh



I'll take you anywhere

Ooh






Blurry by Puddle of Mind



Everything’s so blurry

And everyone's so fake

And everybody’s empty

And everything is so messed up

Pre-occupied without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl



You could be my someone

You could be my sea

You know that I’ll protect you

From all of the obscene

I wonder what you're doing

Imagine where you are

There’s oceans in between us

But that’s not very far



Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?



Everyone is changing

There’s no one left that’s real

So make up your own ending

And let me know just how you feel

'Cause I am lost without you

I cannot live at all

My whole world surrounds you

I stumble then I crawl



You could be my someone

You could be my sea

You know that I will save you

From all of the unclean

I wonder what you're doing

I wonder where you are

There’s oceans in between us

But that’s not very far



Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me



Oh, Nobody told me what you thought

Nobody told me what to say

Everyone showed you where to turn

Told you where to run away

Nobody told you where to hide

Nobody told you what to say

Everyone showed you where to turn

Showed you where to run away



Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?

Can you take it all away?

When ya shoved it in my face?

This pain you gave to me



No, this pain you gave to me

Take it all away

Take it all away

Pain ya gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

22 July 2008

adding art in my life

Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival is a film festival in the Philippines committed to the development and promotion of Filipino independent films. The organizers hope that through the festival, young filmmakers will be able to express their own concepts freely and not be limited by the industry's present condition, where artistic integrity is sacrificed in the pursuit of commercial success.

For the 2008 2008 Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival, I was able to watch "Baby Angelo" and "My Fake American Accent", with Kiki last July 18. I may have no pictures to show but I have my tickets here.. and they're student tickets, even if I fail to bring my ID.

Of course, we watched "Baby Angelo" because our friend, Ate Rhap, was on the film. I really think it was the epitome of Independent Films. With the mysterious, mind boggling plot and the type of cinematography, it was no mistake to be an Indi Film.

It's a story of a fetus found on the trash bin of an apartment complex and the search for the mother of the unborn child. And the lives of the tenants.

"Baby Angelo" would make you ask questions, but not all of it will be answered. It would leave you conjuring up your own conclusions. Which is sort of fun for me.

Congratulations to "Baby Angelo" for winning the Best Production Design.

Too bad I wasn't able to catch "Jay". It won Best Film.

"My Fake American Accent" was about the Call Center life. I'm not sure why I wasn't able to appreciate it that much. I asked myself if I would appreciate it if wasn't part of the world they were portraying, but if not, I might get bored as well. Sorry.. There were a lot of factors that I did not really like, but I would not dwell on that much. I'm not a professional movie critic anyway.

Well, it was a breath of fresh air watching those movies, or just by being with an old friend, or just by being in CCP and be surrounded by artists. We saw Eugene Domingo, Tess Jamias, Angel Jacob and the directors, not all thaough.

I still wished I have seen the movie with my friends the previous day, but I needed to go to work.

I'm planning to attend more events in CCP. I miss going to UP and watching plays, but it makes me miss performing, a lot. Soon again, maybe.

I have a lot of plans before the year ends, I just hope they will all come to pass. Well, that's for another blog entry.. soon!

21 July 2008

stay out

If you'll notice, I never asked, when you will be coming back.. I want you to tell me. And I want you to be glad to be doing so.

There's this gutt feeling that you don't want to come back here anymore. And I sort of predicted that that would happen once you leave. It may be the reason why I wanted you to go. To get this done and over with. You, leaving.

I know I have been thinking that you don't want to go back, but I guess, emotions are something you can't really prepare for.

You left, and you're not coming back. You didn't tell me, but you told someone else.

So, I'm not really sure know what's hurting, you, not coming back or you, not telling me. All I know is, both does.

19 July 2008

ode to joy

why don't i write when i'm happy?

why can't i make the words flow when i'm in love?

i thought of writing here while i was happy and in love. well, i did. there was a time that i did. and i was lost for words.

i thought of doing it again today, but then, before i got here, i managed to mess everything up.

life is a viscious cycle, yet it's equally viscious to end it.

reasons. i'm always in search for reasons. maybe i don't really know the reasons or i don't want the reasons i come up with to be right.

28 June 2008

hard work

one of the hard lessons in life is knowing that not all things come easy, you have to work hard. and sometimes, you need to work harder for some things than most. i guess, you just keep your eyes on the prize, and all the heartaches, hardships and pain will all pay off at the end of the race. it's all worth it.

just glad to be smiling again. thanks!

10 June 2008

bound to fail

you have the power to make a day the best or the worst day of my life..

i'm afraid you unconsciously chose the latter.

i would be telling a life if i'll say i am miserable, because i'm not. but it would be an equal lie to say i'm perfectly fine.

i'm sure you'll ask what the hell's wrong with me, i'm about to say, "you." but deep inside i know that's just pain talking.

i'm a nut case. i don't have the answers to your questions or the reasons for my actions, but they are seen, said, heard and felt. they just can't be confined in words, and i have no means of letting you understand, but just hoping you'd know.

but i guess, not.

i don't want to count to reasons to stay and the reasons to go. i'm sure, the signs will show.

all i want is the best for you, but i guess, i'm the worst thing that happened in your life. at least, you make me feel that way.

someday, eventually, in the undetermined time in the future, we'd know.

i told you, it would be between your birthday and mine. i don't know what to hope, to be right or to be wrong.

05 May 2008

the true me?




The True You



You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.



With respect to money, you are a bit stingy.



You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.



The hidden side of your personality tends to be methodical in your ways - with trouble adapting to the rules of society.



You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.



When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

28 April 2008

wanted: best friend

i can't remember having best friend during the early years of my childhood. well, maybe i did, but if i look at it now. not that i was already considering one at that time.

so, i guess the first one was during our 5th grade. then, she got too serious with her studies during the 6th grade. then, she moved to a different high school.

then, i have another best friend. we don't call each other best friends because she has another, and i have another. but when it really comes down to it, we are the best friends. sophomore year of high school came and there are other things i like that she doesn't really enjoy.

had a whole bunch of good people to hang out with, laugh with.. but no best friend was emerging. until we discovered the same passion for books and hanging out. until now, we still consider ourselves to be best friends. but it's really hard to be best friends if you live in different countries now. plus, she's already married. i wasn't even there when they exchanged vows.

then, there was this girl who really hated me because she thought that i was an enemy, a rival in all that she has. i did make her run for her money, but i have not intentions of doing so. then, we became best friends too. among my high school friends she has the most number of letters given to me!

oooh! i had a best friend before the fifth grade! she was just younger than me. but we were so young then, that we don't really have much problems to share. we don't get to hang out a lot because people our age at that time don't do that. what we do is we exchange letters. everyday. with nothing much on it. then we moved, and they moved. i haven't seen her again, but we have connections now. we somehow found our way to each other. but there are a lot of years in between and it doesn't come back that easy. so, friends.. yeah. a little, i guess. i hope.

back to one of my high school best friends. well, we sort of made it until after high school but then she got pregnant and was ashamed of it, so she vanished. sort of. and it's like she hates us all now. i don't really get it. but there.

then freshman of college. had a best friend, too. but i don't remember calling her my best friend and vice versa. maybe it was just a given. but there were differences that we can't seem to settle. it was like we discovered we shouldn't have been best friends in the first place. cruel, but somehow true. we'd still look at our days together with a smile. no hard feelings. ugly but what the heck.

then, i had my second boy friend. and yes, he was my best friend. through and through. but the relationship has to end. even if i still wanted us to be best friends, he can't have it that way. so, i have to let go.

kampai. ba_rockz. kiki. time also passed and we all went our separate ways. college ended. they will always have a very special portion in my heart. they are the best friends that i had or still have that will know no time or space. they have seen my worst and all. so, i know i have a family to go home to. it's just sad that we don't see each other that much anymore. maybe after her board exams.

then, my batchmates at work. one got sick, the other one, was not really one, just insisted to be.

the skinny bitch came to my life. i'm not sure if she's on her way out. i hope not. but things are complicated now. well, a little. i miss our simple lives. just the two of us.

you ask how about? sprinkles.

she's not ready to be my best friend yet. she still has one. and there's this thought that she will fail at that department. maybe one day.

but for now, i'm alone.

grey's anatomy: my new ally mcbeal

MEREDITH: "Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

- romantic, but i don't want to say this.. even if I think I already did.. in a way or another

GEORGE: "I guess we can't really complain about karma. It's not unfair. It's not unexpected. It just evens the score."

- yeah..

MEREDITH: "I guess we're adults. The question is, when did that happen, and how do we make it stop?"

- I'm wondering the same thing..

ALEX: [to teenage patient who asks him to kiss her]: "Hey, listen. For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something... to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere... a kiss so hot and so deep that you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. You don't want to. Trust me. When you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything."

- suweeet..

DEREK: [pauses] "I'm not saying this to hurt you, or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you."

- contradicting.. ironic.. but something i understand.

MEREDITH: [narrating] "Nobody likes to lose control, but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. Still there are times when it just gets away from you, when the world stops spinning, when you realize your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. It's scary as hell. Except there's an upside to the free fall. It's the chance you give your friends to catch you."

- i miss my friends.. the ones that i'm sure will catch me.. or at least try.

DEREK: "You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. That's all I know."

- just when i thought it was fresh air.. i got suffocated.

MEREDITH: "You really should take something."
CRISTINA: "Drugs are for babies."
IZZIE: "I hate Alex."
CRISITNA: "And the non sequitur award goes to..."
IZZIE: "I’m sorry, but I just hate Alex."
MEREDITH: "I broke up with Derek."
CRISTINA: "Burke wants to have a relationship."
IZZIE: "Boys are stupid."

- i miss my girl friends.. ba_rockz

MEREDITH: [narrating] "Pain. You just have to ride it out. You can only hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside."

- oh, pain..

DENNY: "Hey."
IZZIE: "Hey."
DENNY: "Do you believe in karma?"
IZZIE: "Actually, I do."
DENNY: "I think you might be mine."
IZZIE: "Well then you must have been very very good to deserve me."

- so, you tell me now if i have been good or have i been bad.. most will say the latter.

DENNY: "Hey. Don’t you have somewhere to be?"
IZZIE: "Yeah. Yeah I do. I’m there."
DENNY: [smiles] "Good."

- so, where am i exactly?

PRESTON: [enters his apartment] "I am Preston Burke. I am a widely renowned cardio-thoracic surgeon. I am a professional and moreover I am a good, kind person. I am a person that cleans up after himself. I am a great cook. And you? You are an unbelievable slob. A slovenly, angry intern. I am Preston Burke. And you... are the most competitive, guarded, stubborn... the most challenging person I have ever met. And I love you. Why the hell won't you just let me?
CRISTINA: "I gave up my apartment 20 minutes ago."
PRESTON: [pauses] "Well, alright then."

- sooo suuweeet!

MARK: "But what if you're wrong? Just this once, what if life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?"

- hahahaha! hurgh!

MEREDITH: [narrating] "I've heard that it’s possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who’s actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend, in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope."

- haaaaay..

GEORGE: "Why is he suturing his own face?"
CRISTINA: "To turn me on..."
ALEX: "Because he's Mark Sloan. The guy is like the go-to plastic surgeon on the east coast."
GEORGE: "That’s the guy Addison was sleeping with."
IZZIE: "Can you really blame her?"
CRISTINA: "No, not really."
GEORGE: "Yes, you can."
MEREDITH: "Well McSexy wants an X-ray to check for fractures and I think it’s a bad idea if I go with him."
GEORGE: "Why?"
ALEX: "I'm on it."
GEORGE: "Why is that a bad idea?"
CRISTINA: "McSexy?"
MEREDITH: "That's not right."
IZZIE: "McYummy?"
CRISTINA: "Mmm... no."
MEREDITH: "McSteamy."
CRISTINA: "There it is!"
IZZIE: "Yup."
GEORGE: "Allow me to choke back some McVomit."

- bwahahahahaha!

somewhere along in the bitterness

How To Save A Life

The Fray

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

08 April 2008

deleted messages

expect the worst but don't expect..

it's better to be lonely alone, than lonely with someone..

love is wasted on me..

what am i so afraid of?

you can't buy love, but i know you can rent it..

do you lack something your partner could not live without?

why do we keep on pushing the self-distruct button?

you really are after love..

keep your guard up..

nobody said it would be easy. in fact, they said it would be so hard.

no matter how hard you try to understand, with or without explanation, there are things you are not meant to get.

how do you let someone know that you are in desperate need of a hug when all that's coming out of your mouth is, "don't touch me!"

is there really a check list you should go through before showing your affection?

why can't i let you know i'm in pain?

what am i supposed to do when you're hurting?

why are there words i can't say and things i can't explain?

i don't think you can accept the real me. it's not that what you know is fake. it's just that that's who i am with everyone. it's like you don't know the deeper me. and i think, you can't take it.

i don't know the definition of mad, angry, irritated, furious and hate; much more their differences.

there's really nothing i can do about it. can we just let it go?

30 March 2008

pathetic excuse for a post

1. Is it ok when a boy calls you
dude?
→ yup

2. What was the last thing you put in
your mouth?
→ water

3. What does your last incoming text
message say?
→ Your Account balance as of ...

4. What was the last song you listened
to?
→ your call - secondhand serenade

5. What's irritating you right now?
→ heat

6. What did you do last night?
→ hmmm..

7. What are you excited for?
→ hmmm..

8. Pick a scar on your body, how'd you
get it?
→ dog bite

9. What did you do today?
→ use my laptop

10. What do you want to do when you get
out of high school/college?
→ hmmm..

11. Do you have any siblings?
→ yup.. we are 4 in the family

12. Are you signed onto AIM?
→ nope

13. What's your screenname?
→ no account there

14. Who's your most religious friend?
→ dyan?

15. Would you rather be drunk or high?
→ high

16. If you could change your name to
anything what would it be?
→ don't want to change it

17. What's the best compliment someone
could give you?
→ i hate compliments

18. Do you curse?
→ a lot!

19. Last time you took a plane, where
was it to?
→ from bacolod to manila

20. How many times a day do you log
into myspace?
→ don't have an account there

21. Last profile you went to?
→ mine

22. What's the first thing you would do
with five million bucks?
→ hmmm..

23. What was your last outgoing text
message...
→ empty message

24. What was the last thing you bought?
→ water?

25. Next thing you'll spend money on?
→ bills

26. Is there anybody you just wish
would fall off the planet?
→ ahhh.. naah..

27. If you had a son what would you
name him?
→ can't think of one right now

28. Look through the 2 nearest windows
what do you see?
→ blurred

29-32 MISSING IN ACTION.


33. What's your dream job?
→ narrator

34. Who's the last person that you felt
stalked by?
→ bwahahahahahahhaha!

35. If you could have any car what
would it be?
→ i don't know..

36. What's your favorite breakfast
food?
→ bacon

37. How do you like your eggs?
→ sunny side up with crunchy edges

38. If you could get any piercing where
would it be?
→ eyebrow

39. What do you hear?
→ music

40. What are you stressed out about?
→ work and time management

emotional? write!

I guess this is the reason why I have an entry everymonth at least.. because when I get emotional I get this feeling that I need to write. Here.

I miss a lot of things. I miss my siblings. I miss my crib. I miss my laptop. I miss surfing the net without restrictions. I miss watching cable tv. I miss eating the food at home. I miss the long trips going to and from work.

But I'm happier now than during the time I had all those things that I miss now. And if I choose to have the things that I miss, I would sacrifice the happiness that I have. Sometimes, the choice to make is harder than you think.

Love is so wasted on me.

11 February 2008

my 3 little things

THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:
.laarni
.barn
.lopez

THREE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR
LIFE:
.sept 18 birthday ko
.may 17 birthday nya
.feb 05 birthday namin

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 2
HOURS:
.chat with a dear friend
.drink coffee
.send a text message

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE pinoy BANDS:
.parokya ni edgar
.PnE
.kahit ano na

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
. make it your choice
. take everything in a lighter mode
. look at the bright side

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
.bliss by alicia peacock
.lips of an angel by hinder
.iris by goo goo dolls

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN A
PERSON:
.magandang ngipin
.mganda mata
.astig pumili ng sapatos

THREE PERSONS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
.si menan
.si cza-cza
.si djames

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
. back pack for my laptop
. one week leave
. condo unit

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
. malling
. internet surfing
. reading.. tagal ko ng hindi nagagawa

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO:
. Paris, France
. Rome
. UK

THREE GIRL'S/BOY'S NAMES:
. Chrysel
. Ramon
. Stitch

THREE PLACES.. YOU USUALLY GO TO:
. BCT
. Ayala Malls
. Honradez Dulo

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE fOod PARLOR:
. Tender Bob's
. World Chicken
. Mc Donald's

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS:
. red horse
. mango shake
. coffee

THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR BAG:
. mobile phone
. wallet
. company ID

THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
. purple
. black
. green

EVENTS YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD
TO:
. the next US non-working holiday
. birthday nya
. birthday namin

THREE Tambayans
. work station ko
. 6th floor
. dulong apartment sa orange na gate..

10 February 2008

untitled

i really don't know how to put this..
i'm in love..

it should end there, right?
because i'm loved back..

and besides, the point is..
we're happy.

i have never been out of words this much whenever i'm in this state of..
.. bliss.

my top 2's

Two Names You Go By:
1. Laarni
2. barn

Two Songs You Love Listening To At The
Moment:
1. How Long - Hinder
2. what have you..

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. shirt
2. shorts

Two Things You Want in a
Relationship:
1. honesty
2. laughter

Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
1. eat
2. sleep

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The
moment:
1. shobe
2. shobe ulit

Two pets you had/have:
1. shobe
2. -

Two things you did last night:
1. hahahahahahhahhhahaha!
2. had a bottle of san mig light

Two things you ate today:
1. luncheon meat
2. macaroni soup

Two people you Last Talked To:
1. mommy
2. sir bay

Two Things You'll be doing tomorrow:
1. work
2. work

Two Favorite Holidays:
1. lenten season
2. all US non-working Holidays

Two favorite beverages:
1. coffee
2. mango shake

Two favorite channels:
1. animax
2. HBO

Two favorite foods:
1. ice cream
2. cakes

Two things you want to do before you
die:
1. surf
2. spend a whole day with someone i love in bed

03 February 2008

where were you?

I had a Visayan weekend. January 25 - 28, 2008

The plane tickets we got were bound to Bacolod. From Bacolod (we stayed for a night), we went to Iloilo to witness and celebrate the Dinagyang Festival!

We stayed with ate nini's uncle. We watched the dances. Bought stuff. Ate! Slept! Lived the provincial life.

Then, went back to reality.. which, surprisingly became a little brighter.

17 January 2008

The Best Record Album

Please let me know what is the best record album for you. Just reply with the name of the artist/band and the title of their album. You can suggest as much as you want. Thanks!

15 January 2008

what's wrong?

this is not the first time..
and i don't think it would be the last.

why do i have to always hurt..
but why aren't tears falling out.

i'm afraid i've let it pass me by..
but then again, when you went away, i didn't cry.

is there really something to look forward to..
will these unfallen tears ever dry?

sometimes i wonder if you will come..
or worse, were you even born in this life time?

is it selfish to long for something that was destined to be mine?
or is it my fate to be this way.. am i guilty of what crime?

14 January 2008

looking for someone

so, how are you going to look for someone that you don't know?

you know how he should look like, but you don't know how he does..
you don't know his name, but you know how you want to call him..

you ask good friends to look for him too, but can't put up a missing person case..

you feel the loneliness of his absence even if you've never been together..

haaay..

01 January 2008

2007: hmmm..

trip down memory lane..

January

gemalyn
Kampai's 4th Anniversary
from The Achievers to The Chewables

February

hospitalization
The Chewables and The Royalties in Laguna
tried to blog professionally
wrote for The Chewables
eChat agent
myLot addict

March

MT2 Drama Fest
still trying to make this blog look professional - hahaha!
earning through myLot
new phone! my Nokia 6111.. thanks ebay!

April


hating Pleakley
campaigned for BoyT
JM's Unofficial Birthday

May

more Gapan
Ally McBeal marathon
Puerto Gallera with PB batch mates
got first pay out from myLot
news beats
went to Batangas with The Achievers
Robbie is back in Manila!
won a mind game

June

Kampai back to Bagac, Bataan!
Sykes Summer Picnic in Subic
king kong
had PnE pics
new WFC
start of the end

July

making new great friends
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!
chito?
postponing the ending, but it's there

August

sleepless in makati
trinoma, the block, glorietta
a little gapan
Heroes and 4400
killed king kong.. or so, i tried
bahay-bahayan

September

turning 23 - with kampai, sykes and pamilyang kay saya
very fruitful blog entries

October

new organizational chart
my secret crushes
finished Ally McBeal
PAGUDPUD!
Sykes Picnic Part 2

November

the end
goodbye, amang
drinking session
new home for my cogitations!
will turner returns.. but not really..
Lemony Snicket
daddy went home
Romeo Labs Juliet
Joy is back in the Philippines!

December

Enchanted
Snuffle
Snievel
Christmas away from home
confirmed!

could not say anything, but.. thank God for 2007! Thanks for making me survive myself.. Looking forward to more adventures in 2008!

28 December 2007

2007 Questions

2007 is almost over!! repost this with
"2007 questions"

1. Did you fall in love?
-- more of "yes" than "no"

2. Did you get any new best friends?
-- yeah!

3. Did you start dis-liking some one?
-- uhuh..

4. Did you get your heart broken?
-- as always...

5. If you could change some thing about
this past year, what would it be?
-- hmm.. snuffle..

6. Are you happy of how things turned out?
-- it depends on what aspect in life..

7. Did you get any tattoos? Where and
what of?
-- nope..

8. Did you get any thing pierced? Where?
-- naaah..

9. What's your new favorite color(s)?
-- nothing much changed there..

10. Did you do any thing life changing?
-- hmmm.. i broke up with stitch..

11. Favorite piece of clothing?
-- shirt from Polo

12. Did you go to any parties?
-- hmm.. can't remember.. maybe no..

13. Did you have any surgeries?
-- nope...

14. Do you like our president?
-- in a way..

15. Do you support our troops?
-- who?

16. Were you in the relay for life?
-- what?

17. Did you get engaged/married?
-- far from it actually..

18.
--

19. What's your favorite thing you got
for christmas last year?
-- last year? did i get anything?

20. What's the thing you want the most
this year for Christmas?
-- haaay..

21. Has any body you loved passed away?
-- my grand father.. father side.. we're not that close.. but in a way i loved him.

22. How's school going so far?
-- still no sign of going back

23. Did you get any pets this year?
-- king kong

24. Did you have any "new" members added
to your family?
-- nope..

25. What's your favorite song?
-- Big Girls Don't Cry

26. Who's your favorite band?
-- PNE pa rin.. forever na siguro..

27. Favorite person in your family?
-- naku! si kuya amiel..

28. Have you had a job?
-- managed to stay with this one.

29. Have you been arrested?
-- mabilis tumakbo..

30. Have you been in trouble?
-- as always..

31. Have you thought about suicide/murder?
-- just a thought

32. Are you emo?
-- not really..

33. Favorite trend of the year?
-- not that trendy..

34. What decade do you wish you could
live in?
-- hmmm... not sure..

36. Do you have a crush on someone?
-- yeah..

37. Favorite quote/saying?
-- "I'm gaining on happiness and I am going to get there one day." - Ally McBeal

38. New Year's resolution?
-- none.. so far..

from 2007 to 2008

i am such a grinch.. i did not go home this Christmas day. i never thought i would be able to do such, even if i've been thinking of doing this for quite a long time now. so, there.. i've done it.. Christmas 2007.

so, where was i? i was in makati. i was with borris and mommy joy and kuya pat.. borris was sick and i can't really leave him all alone during Christmas day and feeling that way. so, there.

i had the most number of posts this year since 2004. it would be very easy to look back at the year that passed.

but whatever happened during this year, the most important question would be.. where am i right now?

i'm a single nicotine-caffeine addict that works as a workforce coordinator for a stingy account, with great friends and no love-life.

will it be the same after 2008.. for some factors, i hope it would be the same.. but for other aspects, i hope it would change for the better..

haaaay.. excited and disgusted at the same time..

11 December 2007

ex boy friends day

is it ex boy friends' day today or am i just.. should i say lucky? or should i say jinxed?

obviously there are mixed emotions here. so, how do i expect to find or get someone new?

or, maybe that's it.. it's not yet time to have someone new.

the funny thing is.. i'm about to have someone new.. and it's like the whole universe ganged up on me to prevent it from happening. i should have known it from the start. the signs were obviously there. and i kept on insisting that if there's a will there's a way. i've been asking myself have i done everything i can already. at some extent, yes.. but the more obvious fact is, no.. because if i have.. i'm not supposed to be writing this here.. and now. but i am.

it's written in the stars. it's just not meant to be.. and i hope.. for now. but if not.. and i'm destined to be alone.. then, so be it.. i guess, i would be better off.

okay, so, chito was online.. and i'm now talking to stitch..




i bumped into harry, and king kong.. king kong's gone. fievel sent me a message.. but there's nothing really there..

poor snuffle.. i'm really sorry.. bad timing.


09 December 2007

talking about something I don't want to talk about

Longest relationship:
- a sum of 25 months

Have you ever thought that you were
going to marry the person you were
dating?
- yeah..

Have you ever loved someone so much
that it hurt?
- uhuh..

Have you ever made a boyfriend or
girlfriend cry?:
- sadly, yes..

Are you happier single or in a
relationship?
- i'm not yet sure.. but it's better to be lonely alone, than lonely with someone

Have you ever been cheated on?
- yeah

Have you ever had your heart broken?:
- yup..

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
- not sure..

Talk to any of your exes?
- hmm.. i'm afraid of one.. i asked the other to stop talking to me, but be friends.. and the other is not talking to me.. just like when we were still together..

If you could go back in time and change
things to where you could still be with
one of your ex's, would you?
- maybe not..

Think any of your ex's feel the same
way?
- no

Do you believe that you are a good
boyfriend or girlfriend?
- i did.. i need to believe that i am.

Have you dated people who were not
good to you?:
- yeah

Have you dated someone older than you?
- hmm.. just a year or two..

Younger?
- yeah

Do you regret anything that you have
done with a boyfriend or girlfriend?
- hmm.. i pretty much like where i am right now.. and this would not be this because of the things that i've done.

Do you want to get married?:
- no longer sure what my answer is..

Do you have something to say to any of
your exes?
-yes.

Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or
girlfriend?
- not intentionally

Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or
girlfriend?
- bwahahahahahaha!

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as
it sounds?
- yes.. and more.

Do you wonder how you're most recent
ex is now?
- sometimes..

05 December 2007

you should know that i should know

That's How You Know
Amy Adams

Giselle:
How does she know you love her?
How does she know she's yours?

Man:
How does she know that you love her?

Giselle:
How do you show her you love her?

Both:
How does she know that you really, really, truely love her?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?
How does she know that you really, really, truely love her?

Giselle:
It's not enough to take the one you love for granted
You must remind her, or she'll be inclined to say...
"How do I know he loves me?"
(How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you love her?)
"How do I know he's mine?"
(How does she know that you really, really, truely love her?)

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey? Heyy!
He'll find a new way to show you, a little bit everyday
That's how you know, that's how you know!
He's your love...

Man:
You've got to show her you need her
Don't treat her like a mind reader
Each day do something to need her
To believe you love her

Giselle:
Everybody wants to live happily ever after
Everybody wants to know their true love is true...
How do you know he loves you?
(How does she know that you love her?
How do you show her you need her?)
How do you know he's yours?
(How does she know that you really, really, truely-)

Well does he take you out dancin' just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words in
Just for you? Ohhh!

All:
He'll find his own way to tell you
With the little things he'll do
That's how you know
That's how you know!

Giselle:
He's your love
He's your love...

That's how you know
(la la la la la la la la)
He loves you
(la la la la la la la la)
That's how you know
(la la la la la la la la)
It's true
(la la la la la)

Because he'll wear your favorite color
Just so he can match your eyes
Rent a private picnic
By the fires glow-oohh!

All:
His heart will be yours forever
Something everyday will show
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know
(That's how you know)
That's how you know!

Giselle:
He's your love...

Man:
That's how she knows that you love her
That's how you show her you love her

Giselle:
That's how you know...
That's how you know...
He's your love...

26 November 2007

EMOTION TEST DON'T CHEAT

emotion test...DON'T CHEAT
write your answers underneath the
question.
The answers are at the bottom, BUT
don't cheat.
Then repost this for others to answer.


1 .which color is better red,
black,blue or yellow?
~ blue

2. your first initial?
~ l

3. what month were you born in??
~ september

4. which color do you like more, black
or white?
~ black

5. name one of your friends?
~ eloisa

6. your favorite number?
~ 5

7. do you like flying or driving more?
~ flying

8. do you like a lake or the ocean
more?
~ ocean

9. think of a wish, but don't
write it
~

1. if you chose:

red- you are alert and your life is
full of love.

black - you are conservative and
aggressive.


blue- you are spontaneous and love
kisses and affection from the ones you
love and give good advice to those who
are down. === true!

yellow - you are a very happy person..


2. if you're initial is:

a-k - you have a lot of love and
friendships in your life.

l-q - you try to enjoy your life to the
maximum & your love life is soon to
blossom. === not hoping..

r- z - you like to help others and your
future love life looks very good.


3. if you were born in:

jan-mar - the year will go very well
for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally
unexpecte d.


apri l- june - you will have a strong
love relationship that will last
forever.


july -sept - you will have a great year
and will experience a major
life-changing experience for the good. === the year is about to end.. i'm still clueless.


oct -dec - your love life will be
great,and eventually you will find
your soul
mate.

4. if you chose:

black: your life will take on a
different direction, it will seem hard
at the times but will be the best thing
for you, and you will be glad for the
change. ---- little bit tired of it === same here!

white: you will have a friend who
completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not
realize it.

5. this person is your best friend.

6. this is how many true friends you
have in your lifetime. == hahahah!

7. if you chose:

flying - you like adventure.

dr iving- you are a laid back person.

8. if you chose:

lake - you are loyal to your friends
and your lover and yourself are very
reserved and not emotional.

ocean - you are spontaneous and like
to please people sometimes.

9. this wish will come true only if you
repost this with the title:

EMOTION TEST DON'T CHEAT

23 November 2007

ilocos escapade day 3: beach day!


october 19, 2007

borris and i woke up very early to see the fishermen near the area and try to buy some fish. but then, there was not much fish to buy. maybe because of the season. so, there... we just took pictures and then, when we get back to the room, i had some sleep again! bwahahaha!

and then, beach day! we took a lot of pictures and enjoyed the waves as much as we can.

and during the night time.. we smoked tabacco and drank the "tequilla" we bought from yesterday.. then the other guests, those who were having a seminar, gave us some "boracay mix"..

and what a good sleep we had!

*no more blog entries for the other days in pagudpud.. just see the pictures.

20 November 2007

quotes from ally mc beal

Season 2
Episode: Sideshow

Billy: "I think you have, and always will have, self esteem issues and if you don't get the necessary affirmation from your husband, you might go someplace else to look for it."

Ally:
"I'm gaining on happiness and I am going to get there one day."

06 November 2007

segue

it seems that uploading our ilocos pictures will take a month..

and a lot has been happening lately..

my grandfather died last friday, november 2.. still went to work that night.

i was scheduled to be absent on monday, thus, i went to work on a sunday.. thus, you know what..

aagh! why did i have to give him the address to this site. but most probably, he already lost it or forgot it.. right? so, why am i holding back in writing things about us..

okay, just the basics and less thoughts..

  • lunch
  • had a drink or two
then, i went to julius' pad to spend the night. ninang was there.. and so was dum.. and their boy friends.

my dad of course went home. last monday, november 5, we picked him up from the airport. and received the new home of my cogitations! i'm still giddy! heheheheh!

i really need to write my letter for king kong. i think it would make me more sane if i get to finish it.

then, just today.. will asked to be my friend in friendster. after a gruesome ending i never thought that would happen. and since i'm not good in holding grudges, i clicked on "yes". then, saw his profile.. i think this is a new girl. most probably is. i'm not sure now, if it's a good thing or a bad thing.. and i can't say i'm happy for him. so, why is there a crunching pain in my chest? and i seemed to stop breathing? getting nauseous..

sh!+

his big brother hasn't been online since my last message. oh, and if i'm correct, his birthday falls on the same day as will's. waaaaah!

haaaaay.. can't breathe well..

grrrr.... why did i give in to this segue.. i should have just patiently waited for the ilocos series to finish.. hmpf!

02 November 2007

ilocos escapade day 2: conquering ilocos norte!

october 18, 2007

having no clear idea where we're going.. we woke up early to go to laoag.

we had breakfast at a store in the pagudpud market.. we were so, noisy, but the owner was really nice. she gave us hot water for our coffee and instant noodles. a typical break fast in manila savored in pagudpud.

after the 2 hour bus ride to laoag, we went to the first museum we saw.. hehehe!

after taking gazillion of pictures in the said museum, our tummy's were already rumbling. we went to the city hall to ask for things to see and where to satisfy our hunger. we were directed to la preciosa, and there we met cris, our tour guide for the day.

we rented a jeep and together with cris we went to different spots in ilocos norte.

as gigi requested, we went to fort ilocandia. had pictures taken, of course. we bought a pack of tabacco as souveneir and had an appetite for ice cream.

we then went to a golf course on our way to the malacanang of the north. then we explored the old malacanang.

then,we went to the very beautiful paoay church. although, the church inside is very "new" the facade and everything you see outside is still very majestic.

we were like in amazing race as we rush to batac to be able to see marcos' moseleo. and gigi is such a big fan of the marcoses. thinking that it closes at 5:00 pm we are very much sure that we'd still be able to see it. but then, it was closed. and saw the sign, it closes at 4:00 pm. we didn't leave right away since gigi was so eager to see it today. with eloisa's charm and all. they opened the moseleo for us! and there.. the wax copy of ferdinand marcos.

before we head back to pagudpud, eloisa would not stop until we get a picture of anything "batac". since that's her last name and all. so, there. at the welcome ark of batac, she posed and took a lot of pictures.

we were so tired. and at last we reached laoag. we said good bye to chris and to our very silent driver.

we opted to have take out jollibee for dinner and we brought "groceries" which includes, tequilla! heheheh! it's for the next day..

on the pagudpud terminal, the next in line to leave was the same bus we rode yesterday when we first arrived in laoag! the conductor was able to remember us and gave us the same deal of taking us straight to our resort.

in the bus, we met this kid that came from school in laoag and goes home in another town that is about an hour of bus ride. it was really late. and we asked how old he was, he said his in first year high school and he looks like 9 or 10. his name is france.

we also met "nanay", the old lady who was jolly at first and ended up scaring us!

after eating, borris, eloisa and i decided to spend some time by the sea shore. shared stories and laughed. the tide was so strong. the stars were so many and so bright! there were even falling stars. i think i saw three. and i don't have any idea what to wish for.

such an eventful day.. but still can't wait for the next!

28 October 2007

ilocos escapade day 1: pagudpud, here we come!


october 17, 2007

we can barely do our jobs the shift before the flight.. can't wait! we were giggling and all that laughing.. nothing and no one can wipe away the smiles from our faces..

even if we didn't have any sleep (aside from borris), we were so energetic and lively!

it was our (me, eloisa and tina) first time to board a plane.. hahaha! we were taking pictures everywhere!

we had a very cute FA.. Jay.. haaay.. heheheh!

our first and unforgettable quote.. the FA (not Jay) was giving out the usual announcements before landing. and then said, "The weather in Laoag is.. (sounds like someone thinking very hard).. fine."
bwahahahhahahhahhaha!

we have no idea how we'll get to pagudpud.. so, we asked around, and there! we were able to manage and find Polaris.

on the bus from Laoag to Polaris, we met a guy who was able to identify us from the plane.. imagine our noise level! he's a friend of the owner of Polaris.

in Polaris, we met, LEO (not his real nick name, we just can't say his real one), VER (same with leo, but we think his real name is Everett), and RAFFY (this one we got, easily).

our excitement made us forget our tiresome journey.. we headed to the beach at once! but we slept early, 8:00 PM!

unfortunately some of the people in manila forgot that i was in vacation. i was receiving work related text messages and there was a problem already.. oh well, workaholic that i am, i did what i can do.. but that's not much. the next day, i will leave my cell phone in the room!

24 October 2007

weeeh!

uploading pics from pagudpud!
i'm still thinking how to sort it!
waaaaah!

i'll be doing the video on the weekend..

23 October 2007

haaay.. almost made me cry.. almost

45 things a girl wants but wont ask
for, though i personally ask for some
of this..:
1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?


6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends
together.


KEEP READING


1 1. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more,
deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her
more than you, deny it. fight back and
hug her tight so she can't get to her
friends. it makes her feel loved.


Ar e you thinking of someone?


16. Always hug her and say I love you
whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the
waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about
her.


One last thing you need to do to show
her you actually do mean it.


21. Open doors for her, walk her to
her car- it makes her feel protected,
plus it never hurts to act like a
gentleman.
2 2. Tell her she's your everything -
only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is
something wrong, ask her- if she
denies something being wrong, it means
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so
just hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25-kiss her in front of OTHER girls
you know!!!!*


WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE
AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26-don't lie to HER.*
27-DON'T cheat on her.*
28-take her ANYWHERE she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good day
at work {or school}, and how much you
MISS her.
30-be there for her when ever she
needs you, & even when she doesn't
need you, just be there so she'll know
that she can ALWAYS count on you.*


ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER
BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT


31. Hold her close when she's cold so
she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close
and kiss her.*
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will
give her the hint that you want to
kiss her).*
34. While in the movies, put your arm
around her and then she will
automaticall y put her head on your
shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her.


REME MBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE
WITH HER NEXT


36. When people DISS her, stand up for
her.*
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell
her you love her.*
38. Lay down under the STARS and put
her head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your
heart, Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she rests
her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab her HAND.*
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your
arms as long as possible*


MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED


41. Call or text her at night to wish
her SWEET DREAMS*
42. COMFORT her when she cries and
wipe away her tears.*
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you
love her.*
45.sit on top of her and tell her how
much u love her and then bend down to
her face and kiss her while sitting on
her.

yo u..ll never know when she needs just
a lil more love

back to the real world

just got home from our 5-night stay in Ilocos. and it's not that long as most thought it would be.

i would want to write more about our escapades there, but i'm too time constrained right now, because as soon as the plane landed in manila, all i was thinking about was work.. and i still haven't made up for all the work i missed during the vacation. hopefully tonight i would be able to finish everything. haaay.. well, if not for this job i won't be able to have that vacation in the first place, right?


i want to insert pictures too when i write about everything. since i don't have a digital camera of my own yet, i don't have any pictures yet. and i want to edit the videos i took first. so, 'till then!

just wait for my entry... i just hope i would be able to remember everything. well, the pictures would be able to remind me.

haaaay.. back to work!

15 October 2007

avoiding pain

why are Christians avoiding pain? When it does come to pass and it's part of living life?

am i a masochist for wanting those hurtful things?

i want the hurt of falling inlove. i would like to know the pain of losing someone because of death.

i was never able and i guess never will cry to my mom regarding my heartbreaks. well, because, it would just end up, her scolding me, worse, let our pastor know. eeeewww!

you need to have a Christian boy friend.. and you need to finish your studies first. but we don't have the money to send you to school, and we don't really trust the boys your age at church.

rapture.

but i would be asking myself, what if? what does it feel like? is it that painful? am i strong enought to move on? how will i treat our memories together?

one question to be answered when thingking about marrying someone..

do you love this person enough to be able to stand the pain of lossing him forever? create more memories that would make it harder to let go?

love and death.. the hurts i would like to have. at least, once in this life.

i want to cry again.. but for different reasons. i want to feel and have emotions again.


08 October 2007

TV´s Best Couples

i don't know everyone here. but it's really cool..


finished ally mcbeal

i was able to finish ally mc beal.. at last. the dvds were with me for more than a year. and it doesn't have season one. good thing is, i have watched most of season one.

it would be very difficult to pick a favorite episode.
but i really love it when they dance to barry white.

i can't help but cry during the last episode. i'm really not good with good byes. haaay...

i guess, it's good that it ended that ally has no boy friend. or else, it would not be ally.

aside from ally, i love john cage.. and richard fish!






07 October 2007

random questions

Guys Like That You're Sensitive
And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of wayYou just get most guys - even if you're not trying toGuys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secretsNo wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!


You Are a Dalmation Puppy
Kind, bright, and very energetic.Firemen love to pat your little head.


Your Japanese Name Is...
Oki Rokujochigusa


Your True Love's Name Is
Zachary S.
Your Flirt Quotient
You are 60% Flirt

my secret crushes

i'm not sure why i don't tell my friends that i like these guys. maybe because i don't really really like them or, i often say bad things about these people. . bad! but there..

secret crush #1: mickey mouse
okay.. when i first saw him, i already told my friends that i have a crush on him. in less than 5 minutes after seeing him, i already got his name.. i really think he's so cute. but we all know i was just crushing when he's there.
then, i got to know him a little better. he's a snob.
then, i got to know hime a little more better. he's still a snob, but i learned personal things this time. he's kind of, pathetic.
now, uhmm.. we're like almost friends. he asks favors, he tries to get my attention with no reason really..
but i don't really like him, right? hehehe!
that's why he's in this list. oh yeah, he has a girl friend, who i sort of know.. and know more about.. so.. waaah!

secret crush #2: master sanity
i'm not a big fan of his features.. or so, i tell myself. but love his hairstyle. i'm really afraid of him. we never had the chance to talk ever andthen the dream. this freaky dream that he was so into me. and he's still not my crush back then.. i don't even think of him. i think, i just paid attention after the dream.. then i forgot.
then, he became my master.. sort of. then, we talk. and i'm still afraid of him!
this is a secret because, i really like her girl friend, although, i'm not really sure if she loves him as much. and he has personality traits that i have heard of that are really mean. most probably comes with the lineage.

secret crush #3: new crush ng bayan
i liked his features ever since. but he has a ring around his left ring finger. silver. not much interaction.. just one usual "hi!" smile. then, the meeting. but haven't seen him since. most probably he already forgot about me.
secret because.. i'm not sure. he's too good to be true. but i'm still wishing he's not yet married. bwahahahaha!

05 October 2007

questions from gemmerss

1. Story behind your profile song?
- i only have a profile song in multiply.. story behind it.. i am one.

2. Whats bothering you right now?
- work.. so-called love life..

DESC RIBE YOUR:

4. Wallet?
- leather

5. Wallpaper on your computer's
desktop?
- windows xp default.. tinatanggal ng mga kapatid ko kapag iba nilalagay ko.. hmpf! can't wait to get my own

6. Background on your cell phone?
- pon and zi

7. Jewelry worn daily?
- kampai bracelet

8. Where was your default picture
taken?
- in friendster, at home (dining). in blogger, at home (garden). in blogdrive, at frank's intramuros pad. in multiply, at robbie's house in meycauyan.

9. Eyes?
- dark brown

10. Doing this weekend.
- i'm still not sure.. sleep

11. Wearing?
- shirt and shorts... pambahay!

12. Where are you?
- bahay

13. Listening to?
- amber - back into you

14. Have you ever kissed anyone named
Alex?
- nope..

15. What do you smell like?
- heaven! bwahahahha!

16 . Eating?
- none

17. What is your favorite thing?
- hmm.. machines excluded.. pen. but please, don't give me one.

18. Do you remember your dreams?
- seldom

19. Do you believe that dreams come
true?
- where else do we get deja vu?

20. Do you believe in miracles?
- yeah

21. Do you burn easily in the sun?
- nope.

22. What's something you wish
you could understand better?
- john vincent tuazon and myself, together

23. What did you do last weekend?
- sleep

24. Who do you miss?
- ba_rockz, kampai, menan

25. Have you ever been in a fashion
show?
- nope

26. Orange or apple juice?
- apple juice

27. Do you like the person who took
this survey before you?
- yup.. brainy.. hehehe!

28. What was the last text message you
received?
- D k n 2mwag 2log k n ata. Inaantay ko ln c red pnta ko hospital takot kc ko pgwla ako ksma e.

29. What was the last text message you
sent?
- I miss you.. Kya lng, d mo q miss eh. In fact, ur sick of me na.

31 . What is the closest thing to you
that is blue?
- water jug

32. What was the last thing you ate?
- mom's macaroni

3 3. Last person you hugged?
- karen

34. Whose house did you go to last
night?
- i was at the office..

35. Who was the last person you
visited in the hospital?
- can't remember.. batche's dad, i think.

36. Do you like someone right now?
- LIKE? a lot... hehehe!

37. What do you wear more shorts,
slacks, jeans or sweatpants?
- shorts at home.. jeans when going out.

38. What is the last movie you
watched?
- the girl next door in vcd

39. Where did you get the shirt
you're wearing?
- from my brothers! hehehehe!

03 October 2007

quick realization

it would be unfair to say i have never experienced love.. i have.. once.. and i don't think i'll ever get to experience it again..

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