heart hazzard

i've fallen in love many times before and i've been so vulnerable when it comes to this stuff...

.. segway...
we stayed all night until the wee hours of the morning in front of the pc. untill 6am to be exact! and what time did i get up? 4pm! hah!

i hate it.. and like it at the same time. the feeling i mean. well, what should i do? i'm still human. it's hard not to expect. it's hard not to assume. i don't want to keep my hopes up because when i do it would usually turn out as false hopes. i hate it. the pain it costs me is usually more than i can give. haay..

so, i was thinking. whatever this is that i'm having right now is nothing. a pasttime. so, i won't have to get hurt right? whatever the outcome may be. and i won't be seen crying when the truth slaps me in the face. or in the first place i won't get to be slapped since i can see it coming.

but am i being unfair? what if the other party is already thinking what we have is something special..

no.. it may be unfair and/or selfish.. but i don't want to add the list of people who makes my blue (brown) eyes blue...

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