my birthday wish list 2009

this will be a very easy list.. but somehow difficult to think about.  i'm thinking about very simple things.. Ü

• custom nameplate silver necklace - this was made famous by "sex in the city" through the "carrie necklace".  i would also want one for myself and i haven't found any boutique that make such..  i'm still not sure if i want a "barn" or a "laarni" necklace.  but i'm leaning towards the latter
  

 

• brelli umbrella - i know i'm allergic to umbrella's but i guess the ones on the list would not make me squirm.  yes, this is not the only umbrella on the list.  this one looks like a japanese/chinese umbrella.  i like it because it's multi-ribbed and it's clear.  i'm not sure how sturdy the materials are, if it is, go get me one!  or perhaps there's a brelli umbrella made of metal.
  

• clear umbrella - a brelli umbrella might be hard to find so, i'd settle for this one.  but all or any umbrella on this list would just cure me from the phobia. Ü

• clear bubble umbrella - maybe you would find not just a simple clear umbrella.  i would want the bubbly one! 

• color spectrum umbrella - the previous items are all clear umbrellas.  you might think i don't like color.  well, i don't. i like colorS!  so, maybe i'm not really allergic to umbrellas.  i just haven't found the one that i really like.

• ice age trilogy - the first one was hilarious!  and i didn't get to see the second one.  so, i decided not to watch the third one.  but i really really want to see these movies!  so, it would be great if i would have the whole trilogy.  vcd or dvd would do!

• gossip girl complete season 2 dvd - i have seen the complete season one and some of the season two episodes but it's not complete.  since i celebrate my birthday on the month that tv shows premiere their new season, i would want a copy of the complete season two and see what happens to the teens of the upper east side. xoxo

• grey's anatomy complete season 5 dvd - i have been a fan of this tv series since it began.  and it has been a long wait for season 5 to end.  since it's again september, they're airing a new season and i need to get the one that just finished.

• desperate housewives complete season 4 and 5 dvds - i recently got hooked to this tv series and for a couple of weeks this was the only show i was watching on tv.  restie bought it and the dvds for seasons 4 and 5 are not working properly, so my marathon came to a halt and i'm left wanting more.  the women of wisteria lane are so entertaining.

•  jon and kate plus 8 complete season 1-4 and the latest of season 5 - i know that their separation made TLC stop airing the episodes, but i still love the kids and what jon and kate used to have and how they were able to survive until last month.  i haven't seen any store selling the series due to their popularity now.  how sad that they became more popular when tragedy came upon them.  poor kids.

 

 that's my list for this year.  i want umbrellas (still hate rain), necklace, and a bunch of dvd's.

i also started a new blog this month.  check out personality barn.  it's filled with personality quizzes we love to take.  and i'm still picking a name for another blog that would a little less personal than my entries here.  

i have always believed that i'm jinxed and more during this time of the year.  so, i'm keeping my fingers crossed.  i would be spending most of the day at work, then, with tin, then with my family.  hope it would be a good one! 

Project Laptop: COMPLETED!

my dad gave me my laptop back in november 2007.  it got broken sometime before september 2008.  i was able to get it back, working but with a faulty battery, june 2009.  and having a faulty battery meant that it only works for about 5 minutes without being plugged to an outlet.  so, it's not really as portable as a laptop should be. 

so the first task is to buy a working battery for my laptop.  and it was really hard looking for it in coputer stores in malls.  we tried greenhills but it would take 2 weeks to 2 months, since it needs to be ordered.  dell's service centers are of no help.  the numbers i have tried calling kept on transferring me to a department where no one answers.  other authorized dell dealers have the simillar wait time. 

we fould one store or booth in SM North Edsa who repairs laptops and we could order the battery, the wait time is about 3 days.  i held back.  i forgot why but most probably it's because of how much it is.

we weren't able to reach gilmore.  we were so tired already going from mall to mall and asking from shops to shops.

i then, asked my cousin, since he owns a buy and sell site (pinoybuynsell.com), he may know someone selling laptop batteries.  eBay doesn't have any available for my laptop brand and model (dell lattitude d620).  he recommended that i check TipidPC.com and there i fould someone selling laptop batteries and specifically having my brand and model on the list!  it's for Php 4,000.00 and they have a store at St. Francis Square!  the store is named HotToyz and they carry a lot of replacement laptop batteries.  and it's a good thing they have one for me readily available!  thus, no more hassle of waiting for days, weeks and months!  after buying the battery, we went to the mall (of course), and i tried it out.  viola!  my laptop is now portable!

after settling the biggest issue, i considered Project Laptop to be 50% complete.  the next steps would be to get a laptop bag that doesn't look like a laptop and a prepaid broadband internet service provider.  and i'm all set.

while we were searching for a battery, we were also looking at the malls for a good looking laptop bag.  and whenever i find something to my taste, i would look at the price tag and it would range from Php 3,000 - 5,000!  and no, i don't think i have the heart nor the wallet to be able to buy a bag of such extravagance.  so, tin, the one who is more addicted to eBay than i am, was searching for a bag for me.  then, she found this seller that points to a Multiply site where the gallery of laptop bags are.  and the price showing on eBay is just Php 1,000.  so, i went to check out BrattyBonita.  and their laptop bag designs are very much to my liking!  they really don't look like a laptop bag at all.  i asked tae to pick up a design for me.  she said, that there are too many bags and she's too lazy to look for the laptop bags.  to her surprise, i told her, "all the bags there are laptop bags!"  so, she searched the site and recommended a number of laptop bags for me.  she picked out 5 designs.  they were on sale last august so, i was able to get some discount on a bag.  thinking about how much bags these good costs in malls, i bought two!  one that's sort of sporty and one that's a bit formal.  and but still not looking like a laptop bag at all!  i was able to get both bags for the price of one if you buy it from a store. 

at almost the same time, cha offered to sell me his broadband prepaid kit.  and as i researched, it's the cheapest among those who offer the same service.  thus, cogitations is now powered by Sun Cellular!

my laptop is now portable.  i could carry it without being obviously carrying a laptop and i can go online! yipee!

HELP!

friends, i need your input! please give me one adjective to describe me.. Ü  i'm thinking of starting a new blogsite.  not as personal as my inputs here.. but pretty much simillar but on a more public note.  i can't seem to crack the perfect word.. so i just need one adjective.. hopefully less than four syllables..  thanks!

watching the three penny opera with lea salonga

august 16, 2009

on my quest to continually add art in my life, after watching a number of plays and independent films, and in celebrating the fact that i found a partner who appreciates this type of art, i ached to watch a musical.

in one of tin's e-mail groups, onyl torres, sent out an invite to watch "the three penny opera". since we are only available on weekends, we have scheduled ourselves to watch the play on its last run.

i was so excited since i can no longer remember when was the last time i watched a musical ( i don't really consider noli at fili to be one).

we also invited kiki to join us in watching the play, because i know for a fact that she would enjoy such performance.

the play was held in Peta Theater and since it's very much accessible for us, there was no reason for us to miss it.

until the morning of august 16 were we able to reserve tickets and know the time the house opens.

after a day of shopping (weeeee!), we went back to tin's place and headed to peta theater to meet up with kiki.

i remember the benefits of watching the last run of a play. everything has been polished and the actors would be giving it all they've got. i sort of forgot the fact that famous people would be around too.

while waiting for the house to be open, we already spotted some famous faces. like those who star in independent films, stage plays.. and those i remember the name. like no less than mr. mabesa.

i thought it was production by peta, but later found out that it's a production of "a world theater project" . of course we got a copy of the production book and when we skimmed through the pages, goosebumps started to appear! well, it was ignited a little by mr. mabesa, but when i saw the names of the cast, i was already sooo excited and can't wait for the musical to start.

they asked us, those who were waiting to watch the play to fall in line since the house is about to open. there were people seated on the benches near the table. we just bought the production book for kiki so, we were very much near the door. mr. mabesa and his friends were standing in front of us and in front of them was the door. we wanted to get great seats so, instead of going to the back of the line of benches, we just sticked to being at the end of mr. mabesa's party. thus, we had the best seats! well, mr. mabesa and company occupied the first row of seats after the monoblock chairs, and we went to get the row behind him, which is a little more elevated so his height won't be a bother.

House music was played live. There was this guy playing the accordion and after some time he was missing fingers! I can’t find his name in the production book, but I’m sure he is mentioned there somewhere. I don’t know anyone who knows how to play it, so it already had me amazed. And playing it with less than ten fingers?! I was simply blown away.

So, as we enjoy the house music and the oohs and aahs as we flip through the production book, kiki grabbed me and said, “si lea salonga ba yun?” (is that lea salonga?) I looked at the direction she was gasping and way and behold! The great ms. Lea Salonga is just a few feet away from us. When I saw her she was standing in front of the last row of monoblock chairs in front of mr. mabesa and saying hellos. We wanted to stand up and extend our hands as well! I told tin that lea salonga’s here, since she is as much as a fan as I am, if not more. Then, we were all gushing. Starstruck. And that doesn’t happen often. Kiki even had a hard time breathing. My knees were weak and I could barely feel my legs (aside from the fact that it’s really cold).

Then, we heard mr. mabesa told lea that there are better seats than where she was initially seating. Lea didn’t really mind. But tony insisted. He ofcourse could not offer his seat and his row is already full. Then he turned around and saw that the seat beside tin was empty and asked if there was someone seated there. I froze. There’s the possibility that tin would be sitting beside lea salonga! But she was with her mom and there’s only one vacant seat. Tony then asked the guy after the vacant seat to move. He initially moved to the vacant seat beside tin, but then tony said that he move the other way. Lea and her mom was already seated but since mr. mabes insisted that they get better seats, they stood up and went to the seats beside us! At that point, I was frozed and stopping myself from screaming, “Oh my God!” we tried very hard not to show how starstruck we were. So, we were not really looking. Then, it was her mom that seated beside tin. So, if you are on the stage, from your right, kiki, then me, tin, lea’s mom and then, lea salonga! The house music even changed to, “on my own”. I guess to honor her presence.

And the play haven’t even started yet!

With a cast that will blow you away, the expectation was so high, and of course, they didn’t fail to meet or even exceed one’s expectation. Even lea’s.

When it was time to sing the national anthem, for me the least thing you could do for your country is to honor and respect whenever the national anthem is played and proudly sing it. And I know for a fact that lea salonga would be singing it. So, as I was singing, I went a little bit closer to tin to be able to hear her. I even looked at her direction to check if it was really her that I hear. And I saw her hand on her chest rising and falling. She’s singing! Live! Almost beside me! And she really has an amazing voice, that I would just dream of having.

She recently sang “ang bayan ko” during mrs. Aquino’s funeral and I was just as awed.

So, on to the play..

To simply put it (spoiler alert), it’s a story of a known crook that has a number of women in his life and is in ties with the police, so he gets away with things, but eventually his criminal ways would lead him to prison and then he would be sentenced to hang. But would be pardoned by the queen.

There were a few inconsistencies but I’m not 100% sure, it would need research and since this write up is long overdue and the musical was really awesome, I could let it slip.

These are the names that has blown me away while skimming through the production book: Ricci Chan and Bituin Escalante.

Ever since Zsa Zsa Zathurnahh, I have been a fan of Ricci Chan on stage. And as lea said, everytime he comes up on stage, it’s hilarious! He really is a brilliant stage actor.

This is the first musical that I have seen that Bituin Escalante is a part of. So, when I saw the production book, I was surprised that in the list of the actors and their credentials, all she had under her name was her role. And apparently, as kiki said, she’s always like that. She didn’t have here theater escapades printed after her name and role. I’m still not decided if it’s a sign of arrogance, but sure enough, her name, picture and the role that she would portray would be more than enough.

There are a lot of things you learn when you get the production book. Although you would usually have students buying it for their papers. So, here’s the few things I picked up:

Kalila Aguilos is Bituin Escalante’s sister! She was the villain during the run of Zsa Zsa that I was able to watch. And Bituin was also watching with us. We heard that Bituin has a sibling that was part of the musical. So, we were looking among the townsfolk because we didn’t find anyone from the cast that looks like her. And aside from their difference in their looks, they play totally different characters which is totally cool! And their song was really amazing.

The person who played MRS. Peachum is a man! Cholo Gino really played the part well. And his singing voice didn’t seem to have a hint of masculinity. I needed to flip through the production book with the house lights off just to check his name.

The whole cast was brilliant. The production was really good. The stage was not boring. They used the simillar set up of the stage at the Peta Theater with “Noli at Fili: dekada mil dos”. But, again, who would need a fabulous stage if you have a great cast? Their voices were amazing and their acting superb.

The musical ran for, I believe more than 2 hours and not a single second was boring. So, standing O to the cast and production team of the “The Three Penny Opera”! Watching it with lea salonga or not, the play was fantabulous!

a match

okay, i would be telling a lie if i would say that this is the first time. but, i would say i'm surprised to have found someone who is actually my match.

i'll try not to make this as cheezy as possible, but is this something i could really help? so, for those who's not a fan of cheezy stuff (which i normally am and would probably be if i'd get my heart broken or something) the first line should have blown you off already. and for those who are glad to see me happy, read on.

i used to believe that conceiving who your match is would be someone that you "think" is your match. you come up with the ideal picture of what kind of person your perfect partner would be and then you say to yourself, he/she is your match. then, you get to meet that ideal person and at some point you realize, that you're not really a match because not everything we want is good for us.

i don't really want to gloat. i'm just really happy to have someone in my life right now that makes me smile a lot. someone who makes me feel secure and everyday i know that i'm loved.

nothing's really perfect but i can get through the days that would usually bring the Hagrid in me without breaking a sweat. and though we have our differences and they don't really complement, we still manage to see through it. we don't really ignore it, but we discuss it so that it would not really be a big deal next time.

i guess, the greatest reason why i say that we are a match is because of the things we both like to enjoy. we have the same enthrallment with the things that i really love. and it's really hard to have a partner that enjoys the things that you do and vice versa. i didn't need to like/learn something new but we are both open to such options, and it's fun learning stuff together with someone.

so far, my friends have nothing against her. well, at least that's what i know. well, my great friends don't talk behind my back. and i have no problems hanging out with them with her. i can leave the room and i know she and my friends would be okay.

i'm really just so happy for the past months and officially for the past weeks. all i wanted was to be able to smile again, but i got more.. so, much more.

thank you, tin.

it's time for my american idol post, but i decided to skip this week. there are things in life that are more exciting than a singing contest. unfortunately, i get to experience it..

i'm not really sure why i used the word "exciting" but that's what i have been hearing lately.

i felt sadness, but i know i'd live. not because of the current turn of events. maybe, even if it did not happen, i'd still be sad. and all for the good reasons. or at least, the reasons i wanted to have.

i didn't really hold on to her promise. for my almost 25 years of existence that promises grounded in feelings are tend to be broken. it's not that i expected that this would happen. she already exceeded my expectation in the first place. it's more of, i understood why it came to this. it's sad.. a little hurting.. but again, i'd live.

it's actually amazing that i myself was able to wait. not for this, but for the dealine i have set. thanks to all the people who have managed to cause me pain through the years. and i guess, at last i can say that i did learn a lesson.

unfortunately, there's another lesson i haven't learned. or i just can't listen to. i've been here, more than once. and whatever road i take, it would just lead to the same devastation. i don't want to think that this is something different. i have learned to expect the worst, but don't expect. i have learned to take things as simple as they are and to no longer add to the complications they already present.

i would not let go... as much as i can. i will let things flow, but i would not necessarily go with it. so, we'll see where this will take me. i bet nowhere.

MARK: "But what if you're wrong? Just this once, what if life comes down on the side of the dirty mistresses?"

dvd weekend

after friday shift.. ate faith was on leave.. UK was on holiday.. so, i'm off with charley.. not that he's the last choice or anything.. Ü

well, i was supposed to go home with ms. uy, but charley bribed me into having breakfast. i wanted to have maki, but since it was a holiday, the nearby japanese fast food was closed. so, we just went to the nearest coffee shop. i had 2 chunky chocolate cookies! Ü

oh! before that.. we passed by the dvd vendor beside our building and we looked at the dvds on sale. charley bought "coffee prince", the tagalized version and "slumdog millionaire".

if you are with charley, expect to burn all the calories you just took in by walking.. so, from the coffee shop we went to their place by foot! haaaay..

at about 8:00 AM we started to watch the korean television series. we were so entertained that we didn't notice the time went by. and even if we were up all night from shift, we managed to have our eyes open and absorb what was going on in the show until about 8:00 PM. well, charley go hungry and we had lunch. i'm not sure what time though. he had congee and i had vegetables and lechon.. yum! i slept in their couch. i was soo sleepy already.

the whole season was about 16-17 episodes, 1 hour each. we had about 8 or more episodes to ge before we decided to call it a night. the next day, we woke up at about 8 or 9 in the morning. we went to a "chinese restaurant" for break fast.. walked to and fro, of course.

then we went on and finished the series. Ü

it was fun watching it. of course, the sweet moments made us smile, laugh, and for me, almost cried.. there were actual tears from charley. and knowing the two of us, we can't help but share our P.O.V.'s on love and life. that part is actuall the funnest! hahahah! well, of course the kilig moments. Ü but we were pressing fast forward in some of the sooo mushy scenes!

then, charley wanted to cook lunch. so we went to the supermarket to get the needed ingredients for his spicy adobo. it was the first time i had adobo with a sting! Ü i ate like four cups of rice. and we had ice cream! Ü we watched the other dvd he bought the day before; slumdog millionaire. i have seen it already, but it was such a good movie that it's alright if i see it again

while waiting for him to cook i was reading his mangas. holicxxx in particular. and i continued reading it after eating.

then, he started washing his clothes and got fascinated with "pushing daisies". while i continue to read. until about 9 or 10 pm. then i fell asleep.

we had breakfast at jabee and i headed back home.. Ü

i wanted to post "cofee prince" quotes or at least have it in my IM handle but i can't seem to find the right site. so, i just opted to write what happened during the weekend.

i had fun and it's something i would like to do again. but i guess this would be one of the laid back weekends i would have until the end of may.. i can't wait to have my summer trips again! Ü

happy thoughts

RULES:

1. Write 10 happy thoughts for the week.
2. Tag 10 persons in your contact.
3. Make sure you leave a comment in their site.


THOUGHTS:

1. i surfed! (this will be one of the happy thoughts for life! Ü)

2. i was able to sleep for about 12 hours straight last weekend!

3. was able to watch American Idol!

4. a lot of OT for this week (extra moolah)

5. ate at cyma with the akus kadi's

6. good tasting peanuts by mommy

7. was able to stay in the office working for 12 hours again.. after a long time..

8. exchange of text messages with eloi and mima

9. faye and chubs: "loser ung pet ko", "Pota mukhang saki ung pet ko, babae xa pero ung damit pang lalaki. Ahaha"

10. thinking things through.. making decisions.. Ü


i tagged:
anna nini, faye, kamole, dee, kat ni mae, ate kang, jug, saki, ton ton, amiel

things to do before i die: surf.. check!

woohoo! i still can't believe it! i went surfing last weekend! woohoo!

i was down because how things are going at work and i didn't have enough time to feel giddy and excited. (i'm workaholic that way.)

i didn't know what to expect. maybe because i know it has something to do with balance and it's something that i know i don't have! so, i was again being pessimistic and all, that i would just be making a big fool out of myself!

during the initial lesson, while the surf boards were in the sand, i already had the problem standing up! such a loser! so, i again thought, i won't be able to stand up once the boards go afloat.

there were two kinds of standing up: regular (left foot forward) and goofy (right foot forward) ( i referred to it "wacky", until they corrected me after a quiz from lemon). and guess what, ate peyt and lemon are both regular, and i'm wacky! i mean, goofy!

it was cool to learn some surfing terms, although, there was no lesson about it. it's just that the people that we are with made surfing their lifestyle thus they can't avoid using jargons.

we learned the parts of a surf board, it's different types, and of course the safety measures we should keep in mind.

we get to meet the surfing personalities of the philippines and they are the ones who showed us how to do it.

then, it was time to ride the waves. i of course was so scared since i can't swim that good. jason was kind enough to let me try even if it was not yet that deep.

lemon, as expected, was the first one who was able to stand up.. and then, believe it or not, me! woohoo! i felt the reason why people get addicted to it.. i got stoked! woohoo!

of course after that, i was shouting seemingly negative but really inspirational words to ate peyt so that she would not give up!

then, all of us were doing it! woohoo!

my arms started to hurt.. i know it's because of my weight. then, i can feel my abs working (uy! may abs!). then, my head start to hurt.. then i was getting a little dizzy.. i really wanted to ride some more, but i'm scared that i might faint in the middle of the beach! and i don't want to create a scene. so, we went ashore and i wanted to wait for them to finish, but the scorching heat was getting the best of me. i went back to the room drank my gatorade and laid down to try and feel better. after a couple of minutes i think i was fine.

after lunch we had another ride. unfortunately, the sunblock (even if it was already in the afternoon and there's really no need for it) made it slippery.. the waves are stronger that time as well.. and after a couple of slips, i bumped my right elbow and left knee a lot of times, we concluded that the board needed waxing. so, we went ashore.. before we were able to get the board waxed, the time was already up..

the next day, we went to charlie's point and saw how it's really done..

since i was able to do this, i can say almost anyone can..

i will definitely want to go for another ride on the waves.. soon! Ü

I'm the real Laarni Lopez

for those who have accounts with face book, try searching for "laarni lopez" and i think it will return two profiles and now with the same picture.

here's the freaky part: i did not create the other one. i'm not sure how to check the difference before adding one as a friend. the fake one really looks authentic because all my stats there are correct. except for one.. i don't have a "barnlopez" account in gmail. i think that's the e-mail address he/she used for the fake account. he/she copied one of my blog entries. i don't post blog entries in facebook.

i thought it was just a prank or one of my friends who just wanted to create a profile for me. so, i sent him/her a message asking who he/she is. then it replied and called me a poser. i know people who use that word, because i don't. i thought it would be something we would just be laughing at after, but it doesn't want that..

i'm afraid of stalkers. i hope this is not it.

i then started to think, what could be the worst thing that could happen? people that matter to me know the real me and they know who wants me to get hurt.. Ü

before january ends

my last entry was when the month just started.. and i haven't posted anything else yet.

as usual much as happened..

• Kampai's 6th Anniversary - held at nineteen20 bar in QC, near ABS-CBN - present: me, ate faith, kiki, edje, kuya vinnie, jong, dumdum, boni, batche and ninang; with guests: adrian ni mamu, ate weng, kuya ruben

• Days with Faye - usually in intramuros; i get to spend some time with my friends in teatro

• Iloilo Get-away - my week long vacation with the best friends I know in a land far away from work!

• Shopping Spree - it's nice to get to spend what you have worked hard for.. i need control again, though and think of my savings. but's it's really nice to be able to spend money on yourself and not with those who take you for granted.. Ü

since i don't have a camera yet.. i need to wait for my friends to upload the photos.. but i will be posting them soon! Ü

holidays are meant for sleeping

okay, i have used my days off work to sleep, eat, watch the television, and go online.. well, isn't that what this vacation was really for? well, aside from going home at last.. my sister was expecting some kind of bonding. i was able to give it to her, yes.. with mom, of course.

i love the food when i got home! my favorite food was on the table! big shrimps and crab! i didn't stop until i got a little dizzy.. hehehehehe!

then, the hibernation started.. sleeping and eating and watching the television..

of course, i tried to stay away from free tv as much as possible.. because that's what we only have in makati.. well, hopefully, soon, we'd get cable!

so, i was able to see, "bata, bata, pano ka ginawa" again. i would like to get a copy of the book!

grey's anatomy season 3, i think, was on marathon in studio 23, but I fell, asleep..

i don't remember the rest.. it all went like a blurr..

i even managed to sleep through grey's christenning.. i'm sooo sorry... sooo deeply sorry.. :(

i was able to catch a little of xxxHolic.. i wanted to watch that but again, we don't have that feat.. hehehe!

Kimihiro Watanuki is a high school student plagued by yōkai, spirits with a strong attraction to him. The spirits are invisible to others and encounters with them are extremely troublesome. When he stumbles into a shop that grants wishes, however, events in his life promise to become more unusual.

The shop is owned by Yūko Ichihara, a mysterious and beautiful witch of many names and esoteric renown. For a price, she offers to grant Watanuki's wish to be rid of the spirits. The price, according to Yūko, must be of equal value and so, as payment, he temporarily becomes Yūko's part-time employee.

Watanuki's job consists of small errands dealing with the supernatural and household chores. His love interest, Himawari Kunogi, and "rival," Shizuka Dōmeki, occasionally join him in his work as per Yūko's request. The three become increasingly close despite Watanuki's annoyances with Dōmeki.

then, there was this cute movie, "Arthur and the Minimoys".. i'm now officially a fan of freddie highmore! and i really think he's sooo cute.. :)

he's just 17.. hahahaha!

then.. there's this thing i should think about.. or not really.. i'm again confused. i need a dose of ate faith.. but i can already hear what she's going to tell me.

i really don't know how to say it with only half the hurt it would inflict. it's just that i'm fully aware of my right to decline.

but i don't want to conclude things yet. let's wait and see as to what will happen.. hahahah! 2009 will be sooo fun!

oh, and of course i downloaded a lot of songs in my phone. pne's solid album, the fray's self-titled and how to save a life album, the script's album, songs from season one and season two of grey's anatomy, with and without vocals of rent.. i should be singing before the year ends. :)

in a few hours i would be back to work mode and i'm not sure when my next entry would be. but i hope i would manage to squeeze a few words before each week ends.. ;)

another year end survey

1.) FOOD OF THE YEAR?
stir fry noodles at shelby's and tripple choco boom of country style

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend):
ate faith and kiki

3) NEWCOMER AWARD – COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?:
charlemagne

3) HIGHEST POINT OF THE YEAR?
hmmm.. the day when we first texted again after a long time

4) LOWEST POINT OF THE YEAR?:
april to september.. until mid october

5) BEST HOLIDAY?:
i hate holidays

6) YOUR SONG FOR 2008?
so what by pink and take a bow by rihanna

7) best movie FOR 2008?
twilight

8) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH AND WHERE?
ano yun?!

9) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN?
the workaholic bitch

10) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR (di fastfood)?
a'venetto

11) KISS OF THE YEAR?
it might be something my officemates saw but i don't remember.. i was too wasted!

12) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
moving on..

13) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
finish off debts, get paid, start finishing my studies

14) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN YOU GOT DRUNK?
i was too drunk to remember! it's a good thing charlemagne and other friends were there..

15) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
grey's anatomy

16) BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT?:
survive 2008

17) HEARTBREAKER OF THE YEAR?:
it

18) BIGGEST CHANGE FOR THE YEAR?
curly hair

19) NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION?
don't do this kind of stuff..

20) BLOCKMATE OF THE YEAR?
let's make this team mate of the year.. charlemagne!

21) SITE OF THE YEAR?
www.hilom.com

22) COUPLE OF THE YEAR?
kuya pat and mommy joy

23) FOOD OF THE YEAR?
uhmmm..same as number one??

24) SUBJECT OF THE YEAR?
bwahahahah!

25) SEATMATE OF THE YEAR?
liway

26) STORE OF THE YEAR?
there's this store in 50th avenue of robinson's place ermita where we buy accessories regularly

27) CRUSH OF THE YEAR?
of course.. who else.. it's always been him..

28) YM BUDDY OF THE YEAR?
menan

29) MAYOR OF THE YEAR?
congressman na lang..

30) CLUB OF THE YEAR
mapua tekno teatro

31)PERSON OF THE YEAR????
me! bwahahahah!

a look back at 2008

i hate it. i wish i could delete it. if 2008 never happened, i would be happier. i'm sure. 100% sure..

so, let's try and think of the good things and how shallow they are..

i was able to post a blog at least once a month.. which i think i can do in the following years.

what else?!

what are the bad things..

it happened
had a loan in the bank
my credit card got cancelled
the best partner i had at work left the company
one of my best girl friends (and some other friends) drifted away because of it

oooohh! i'm starting to think about good things!

had my hair curled! and i look hot!
and at the last part of the year, i get to feel how much my salary really is.. well, sort of, because i still have bills to pay.. i will get more of this next year (the feel of my salary and not the bills) .
i got confirmed. but then again, if not, i would be off to a different company and most probably get a better salary.

well, since i'm good at deleting things from my memory..

2008 is now officially deleted! i'm sooo looking forward to 2009! Ü

but the 12k debt is still there..

2008 question and answer portion

2008 IS ALMOST OVER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Stayed single almost the whole year?
> half?!

Done something you've regretted?
> yes..

Lost someone?
> none

Cut class?
> no more classes

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
> yup

Visited a different country?
> nope

Cooked a gross meal?
> nope

Lost something important to you?
> yup.. my phone.. :(

Got a gift you adore?
> yup.. shoes from ate faith!

Dyed your hair?
> nope

Came close to losing your life?
> how i wish..

Went to a party?
> yeah..

Read a great book?
> i read a lot this year.. something great.. uhmm.. yeah!

Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
> nope.. i didn't see pne this year

Did you meet any new friends this year?
> "friend" is a deep term for me

Did you dislike anyone?
> hell yeah!

Did you grow apart from anyone?
> as usual.. and i miss her a lot.. but, we're getting a little closer again.. :)

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
> yup.. i regret hurting them with someone sooo not worth it

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2008: Your BIRTHDAY!

Did you have a cake?
> yup! oh! was it this year?!? :(

Did you get any presents?
> i don't really remember, maybe not.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2008: All about YOU

Did you change at all this year?
> yeah..

Did you change your style?
> style of what?!

Were you in school?
> nope..

Did you get good grades?
> hahahah!

Did you have a job?
> i still have..

Did you drive?
> nope

Did you own a car?
> nope

Did anyone close to you give birth?
> not physically, and i'm glad we're rebuilding the bridge.. i'll be the godmother of her child on saturday!

Did you go on any vacations?
> hmmm.. vacation is something you should enjoy, right?! can't think of any. but i managed to use up my leave credits.

Would you change anything about yourself now?
> yeah.. the biggest room is the room for improvement.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2008:Wrap UP:

Was 2008 a good year?
> nope.. it would be better to have 2008 erased.

Do you think 2009 will top 2008?
> definitely! if 2008 is the worst, all the rest will be better!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I confess that in 2008 I...
(x) stayed single for almost the whole year
( ) kissed in the snow (i wish!)
( ) celebrated Halloween
(x) had your heart broken
(x) mooned someone
(x) went over the minutes on your cell phone
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) done something you've regretted

OTHER
( ) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
( ) posted a blog on Friendster
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someo​ne you were busy when you weren't
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
( ) lied about how old you were
( ) prank called someone


In 2008 I...

[x] broke a promise
[x] fell out of love
[x] lied
[x} cried over a broken heart
[x] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[ ] slept under the stars
[ ] kept your new years resolution
[ ] forgot your new years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[ ] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life
[x] sat home all day doing nothing
[x] pretended to be sick
[ ] left the country
[ ] almost died
[x] given up on something/someone important to you
[x] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[ ] met great people
[x] stayed up til sunrise
[x] cried over the silliest thing
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[ ] had a high cell phone bill

Bi-curious

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Bi-curious is a term used to refer to someone who does not identify as bisexual or homosexual but feels or shows some interest in a relationship or sexual activity with someone of the same sex. The term can also apply to a person who generally identifies as homosexual but feels or shows some interest in having a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. The terms homoflexible and heteroflexible are also applied to bicuriosity.

The term bi-curious implies that the individual has had no sexual experience—or very little—of that sort, but may continue to self-identify as bi-curious if they do not feel they have adequately explored these feelings, or if they do not wish to identify as bisexual.

why you can't give up

a scene from "Grey's Anatomy" (Didn't We Almost Have It All - Season 3 Ender)

MEREDITH: "No matter what, you walking down that aisle today. I need you to go down that aisle."
CRISTINA: "Is the toilet paper cutting off your circulation?"
MEREDITH: "You marrying Burke, it´s a sign. Sign that people like you and me ... can do this. Be healthy, be happy. You marrying Burke restores my faith in... me."

this was the scene that flashed in my memory when you said that you're giving up. i can't let you give up.

through the years that we have known each other my hopes came from you. you are full of that: hope. it's very easy for you to see the silver lining in clouds. and if you give up, all of hope would be lost. at least for me.

we love a lot, cry a lot, laugh a lot, drink a lot.. and we get hurt a lot. but we would still manage to love and laugh.. and hope that someday things would get better, that we have a happier future.

i have a friend who said that everyone deserves to be happy. well, the thing is we are always happy. i've learned that from you. that even if there are things or people that we don't have or don't love us back we still manage to be happy. so, i guess, it's not a question of happiness.

i just don't want you to give up. because you're the strongest person i know. if you can still have hope, if you can still hold on, if you can still smile and wake up the next morning, there's this possibility that i can too. but if you stop. if you no longer can.. i'm sure that no one can. specially me.

i'm always praying for your happiness, because it gives me hope.

i'm sorry if i'm putting much pressure on you. i know it's tiring. and giving up is the best way to go. but i believe in you. i believe that you are strong for this. we are strong.

so, if you would be giving up, let me know what i can do so that you won't give up. so, that you won't stop.

CRISTINA: "Meredith, please say something, say something! I... I don't know. Say what I would say you if you were me."
MEREDITH: "Okay."
CRISTINA: "Good."
MEREDITH: "Got it."
CRISTINA: "Good. Go."
MEREDITH: "Stop whining. This is your wedding day. You will got on that aisle. You will get married! If I have to kick your ass every step of the way to get you there. You will walk down the aisle and you will get married. Do you hear me Cristina? We need this. We need you to get your happy ending."
CRISTINA: "Okay, I´m ready."

We will get to our happy ending, but we won't get there if we would give up. So, don't just don't. Let's stay happy. Let's still have hope. Okay?

singing

during my last day of my leave for 2008, my good friends from the UK account went to Providence, had a couple of beers and of course, sang our heart out. it has been a long time since i held the microphone and sang. We bought Php 400 worth of tokens, and there's the four of us, thus, we had 10 songs each. Here was my line up:

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat the first song i saw, never sang this before in karaoke

Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie the song that reminds me of our Pagupud escapade

Dream of Me - Kirsten Dunst from the movie, "Get Over It". they started saying how sad the song is. this reminds me of Mima. it's one of her favorites

Ikaw - Brenan Espartinez I meant to sing "Ikaw" by Regine Velasquez and/or Sharon Cuneta. and i never heard or know this song, but it was easy to follow. and it has good lyrics.

You're Beautiful - James Blunt the song wherein i scored 99! and this is the song that Dave used to sing for me

A Whole New World - Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle almost all of us sang the song. this is my favorite duet from Disney, and it seems to be the easiest to sing

All I Ask of You - Barbra Streisand wanted to sing something from a musical and this is the next one i saw after the previous song. i just miss the stage so much. and i really like what this song says. but i learned not to ask, it should come out naturally, right?

Burn - Tina Arena one of the Laarni Classics; i missed singing this.

I Know Him So Well - Barbara Dickson and Elaine Paige again, from another musical, "Chess", and another duet, that i managed to sing alone. it reminds me of Liway and the fabulous version of Jinn and Bubu. I miss ba_rockz.

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor one of the KAMPAI songs. there was one instance that kiki told me that this song is for me. :) i did survive and i will survive whatever the future holds.

This I guess was just a preparation, because during the MT2 Team Building and Induction, when everyone was already drunk and sleeping, I had the videoke all to myself and i sang whatever song i wanted until morning came, until i almost have no voice left because the microphone was not cooperating and you would need to sing louder than usual, but it still works for me. and no one managed to beat my score of 92! Teng gave me a name, but i already deleted the message and i have very poor memory.. oh, well!

when will i be able to sing again? when i will be able to be on stage again? i hope it would be sometime soon!

i'm not dumb, just stupid..

being dumb is knowing nothing; lacking in knowledge..
being stupid is knowing but doing otherwise. the actions will make you think that there's no knowledge there.. it's there alright. it's just opted not to be used.

i'm not dumb.. just stupid!

chapter 5

i tried writing chapter 5 a week or so back. unfortunately for some wretched reason it wasn't publish. it was a very long entry since it has been a long time since chapter four. i would need to do key words again.

OMD Team Building - memory wiped out
Oh! It's a Rhinoceros - back to what i really love
Thanksgiving celebration in Megamall
In th Grove
Twilight
MT2 Induction and Team Building
Shopping!

This would be the last chapter. I plan to write daily.. if not, weekly.