Bi-curious

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Bi-curious is a term used to refer to someone who does not identify as bisexual or homosexual but feels or shows some interest in a relationship or sexual activity with someone of the same sex. The term can also apply to a person who generally identifies as homosexual but feels or shows some interest in having a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. The terms homoflexible and heteroflexible are also applied to bicuriosity.

The term bi-curious implies that the individual has had no sexual experience—or very little—of that sort, but may continue to self-identify as bi-curious if they do not feel they have adequately explored these feelings, or if they do not wish to identify as bisexual.

i'm a cristina

took a personality quiz in ABC..

why you can't give up

a scene from "Grey's Anatomy" (Didn't We Almost Have It All - Season 3 Ender)

MEREDITH: "No matter what, you walking down that aisle today. I need you to go down that aisle."
CRISTINA: "Is the toilet paper cutting off your circulation?"
MEREDITH: "You marrying Burke, it´s a sign. Sign that people like you and me ... can do this. Be healthy, be happy. You marrying Burke restores my faith in... me."

this was the scene that flashed in my memory when you said that you're giving up. i can't let you give up.

through the years that we have known each other my hopes came from you. you are full of that: hope. it's very easy for you to see the silver lining in clouds. and if you give up, all of hope would be lost. at least for me.

we love a lot, cry a lot, laugh a lot, drink a lot.. and we get hurt a lot. but we would still manage to love and laugh.. and hope that someday things would get better, that we have a happier future.

i have a friend who said that everyone deserves to be happy. well, the thing is we are always happy. i've learned that from you. that even if there are things or people that we don't have or don't love us back we still manage to be happy. so, i guess, it's not a question of happiness.

i just don't want you to give up. because you're the strongest person i know. if you can still have hope, if you can still hold on, if you can still smile and wake up the next morning, there's this possibility that i can too. but if you stop. if you no longer can.. i'm sure that no one can. specially me.

i'm always praying for your happiness, because it gives me hope.

i'm sorry if i'm putting much pressure on you. i know it's tiring. and giving up is the best way to go. but i believe in you. i believe that you are strong for this. we are strong.

so, if you would be giving up, let me know what i can do so that you won't give up. so, that you won't stop.

CRISTINA: "Meredith, please say something, say something! I... I don't know. Say what I would say you if you were me."
MEREDITH: "Okay."
CRISTINA: "Good."
MEREDITH: "Got it."
CRISTINA: "Good. Go."
MEREDITH: "Stop whining. This is your wedding day. You will got on that aisle. You will get married! If I have to kick your ass every step of the way to get you there. You will walk down the aisle and you will get married. Do you hear me Cristina? We need this. We need you to get your happy ending."
CRISTINA: "Okay, I´m ready."

We will get to our happy ending, but we won't get there if we would give up. So, don't just don't. Let's stay happy. Let's still have hope. Okay?

singing

during my last day of my leave for 2008, my good friends from the UK account went to Providence, had a couple of beers and of course, sang our heart out. it has been a long time since i held the microphone and sang. We bought Php 400 worth of tokens, and there's the four of us, thus, we had 10 songs each. Here was my line up:

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat the first song i saw, never sang this before in karaoke

Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie the song that reminds me of our Pagupud escapade

Dream of Me - Kirsten Dunst from the movie, "Get Over It". they started saying how sad the song is. this reminds me of Mima. it's one of her favorites

Ikaw - Brenan Espartinez I meant to sing "Ikaw" by Regine Velasquez and/or Sharon Cuneta. and i never heard or know this song, but it was easy to follow. and it has good lyrics.

You're Beautiful - James Blunt the song wherein i scored 99! and this is the song that Dave used to sing for me

A Whole New World - Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle almost all of us sang the song. this is my favorite duet from Disney, and it seems to be the easiest to sing

All I Ask of You - Barbra Streisand wanted to sing something from a musical and this is the next one i saw after the previous song. i just miss the stage so much. and i really like what this song says. but i learned not to ask, it should come out naturally, right?

Burn - Tina Arena one of the Laarni Classics; i missed singing this.

I Know Him So Well - Barbara Dickson and Elaine Paige again, from another musical, "Chess", and another duet, that i managed to sing alone. it reminds me of Liway and the fabulous version of Jinn and Bubu. I miss ba_rockz.

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor one of the KAMPAI songs. there was one instance that kiki told me that this song is for me. :) i did survive and i will survive whatever the future holds.

This I guess was just a preparation, because during the MT2 Team Building and Induction, when everyone was already drunk and sleeping, I had the videoke all to myself and i sang whatever song i wanted until morning came, until i almost have no voice left because the microphone was not cooperating and you would need to sing louder than usual, but it still works for me. and no one managed to beat my score of 92! Teng gave me a name, but i already deleted the message and i have very poor memory.. oh, well!

when will i be able to sing again? when i will be able to be on stage again? i hope it would be sometime soon!

Olivia, The Golden Girl of Jazz

i saw her perform in unang hirit. she sang "winter wonderland".

my mom is a big fan of jazz, and with that i sort of grew up listening to the music. and the way she sang that Christmas song was very good. although, at first i thought there was nothing out of the ordinary, but she was able to exude jazziness.

i would like to have a copy of her album, "Gentle Jazz". I hope it's available in torrent. Hahahaha!

http://jazzuality.com/interview/exclusive-one-on-one-interview-with-the-golden-girl-of-jazz-olivia/#more-49

i'm not dumb, just stupid..

being dumb is knowing nothing; lacking in knowledge..
being stupid is knowing but doing otherwise. the actions will make you think that there's no knowledge there.. it's there alright. it's just opted not to be used.

i'm not dumb.. just stupid!

chapter 5

i tried writing chapter 5 a week or so back. unfortunately for some wretched reason it wasn't publish. it was a very long entry since it has been a long time since chapter four. i would need to do key words again.

OMD Team Building - memory wiped out
Oh! It's a Rhinoceros - back to what i really love
Thanksgiving celebration in Megamall
In th Grove
Twilight
MT2 Induction and Team Building
Shopping!

This would be the last chapter. I plan to write daily.. if not, weekly.

Hard Lessons on Love and Men... from Grey's Anatomy (repost from ate kang)

1. A man won't let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone whohas let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you.Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is anotherreason he is not willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only onereason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do notwaste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move onand be open to a man who will truly love you.

3. Do not get hung up on your past. Do not nag or distrust your currentboyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or therelationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same wayas your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him tolook for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. Itwas not because you didn't guard him enough or you didn't make him happyenough.

4. Do not look into images. How many times have you met a man/girl who didn'thave the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the man/girl and found out he was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images.Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your"supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.

5. Always have your own set of rules. Set your limits on how far you'd gofor a guy. It's perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it'sworth it.. And it's worth it if the guy is treating you right.

6. Do not be scared to lose him. Don't be scared that he'll break up withyou. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage.Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.

7. Avoid calling your guy. It's a guy thing. The relationship willdefinitely be better if it's the guy who's calling, not the girl. He willget tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest andchallenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it's a girl thing also thatyour fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much aspossible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions arereasonable).

8. There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can makeyou feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during yourfirst few weeks together. So don't lose hope. Don't settle for a lesbian ifyou are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love youlike a girl can. Also, do not believe him when he says it's just the way hereally is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during yourfirst few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is notthat into you anymore.

9. Always be the only one, no matter what. Do not ever fall for a guy whohas another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says hejust can't get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that heloves you and for some reason, he can't leave or let go of another girl,then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.

10. He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, heshould always show respect towards you.

11. If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can nevertrust nor respect the person again.

12. Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl'sman, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrongreasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex,man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wastingmore years of your life.

13. Do not force yourself into a relationship. Do not get into arelationship just because your friends are getting impatient with yourdating escapades and the one hasn't come yet.. Do not choose who to say yesto based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you areeven thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.

14. Do not settle. If you are not happy anymore with your relationship,break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how uprighthe might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness inhis life.

15. A relationship has to have love. Love is the only thing that will pushyou to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me,keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.

16. Don't be afraid to be single. It's fun to be single, try it. You can goout whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever youwant and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for thesake of having one. Do not settle.

17. Be a good girl. Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter therelationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationshipseriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person(of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years) .If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know thatthe latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.

18. Love without limits. Whether you loved and gave everything or loved butheld out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. Butif you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it wasworth it. If you didn't give your all, you get hurt for nothing.

19. You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends andyou are free to love another.

20. Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinderhis gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you asimportant. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in hislife.

goodbye you love i

lyrics by ivan, as told by kiki

Wish you could be the one
The one who could give me love
The kind of love I really need
Wish you could say to me
That you'll always stay with me
But baby that's not you
I need someone willing to give their heart and soul to me
Promise me forever, baby that's something you can't do
Oh you could say that you'll be all I need
But that would be a lie
I know you'd only hurt me
I know you'd only make me cry
You're not the one I'm needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for me
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
I'll find someone who'll be the one that you could never be
Who'll give me something better
Than the love I'll find with you
Oh you could say that you'll be all I need
But that would be a crime
I know you'd only hurt me
I know you'd only make me cry
You're not the one I'm needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But you'll never be the one I'm needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye