27 July 2004

so much for my happy ending


My Happy Ending

Avril Lavigne


So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

CHORUS X 2

oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...




24 July 2004

imagining you care


Barely Breathing

Duncan Sheik



I know what you’re doing, I see it all too clear

I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears

You really had me going, wishing on a star

But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far

I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn

Well it must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born

There’s not much to examine, there’s nothing left to hide

You really can’t be serious if you have to ask me why I say goodbye…


‘Cause I am barely breathing

And I can’t find the air

I don’t know who I’m kidding

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price

the price that I would pay


Everyone keeps asking, what’s it all about?

I used to be so certain and I can’t figure out

What is this attraction? I only feel the pain

There’s nothing left to reason and only you to blame

Will it ever change?


‘Cause I am barely breathing

And I can’t find the air

I don’t know who I’m kidding

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price

the price that I would pay


But I’m thinking it over anyway, thinking it over anyway

I’ve come to find, I may never know

Your changing mind, is it friend or foe?


I rise above, or sink below

With every time, you come and go

Please don’t come and go


‘Cause I am barely breathing

And I can’t find the air

I don’t know who I’m kidding

Imagining you care

And I could stand here waiting

A fool for another day

But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price

the price that I would pay
But I’m thinking it over anyway, thinking it over anyway


I know what you’re doing, I see it all too clear



18 July 2004

official hate blog

i don't know why this is happenning? or is it that it just so happen that whenever i'm angry or mad i would be able to come accross this blog site or will think of writing an entry here.
 
i'm not sure i know anyone who knows this blog site exists.. well, for those who know me personally that's why i can record all my hates.. although, i'm not also sure if keeping a record of your hateful feelings are good.
 
i just want to sleep.. well, this has nothing to do with how i feel emotionally but then again.. it sort of adds to it.. a little.
 
i hate him.  well, i don't.  i hate him because i don't hate him.  i know this sounds pathetic.. but i'm the drama princess. i have every right to pour out my emotions. 
 
so there, i hate him and it's all because for a fact i know that he knows that i like him and yet there he goes making me follow him around.. emotionally speaking.  of course i have no means of physically doing such, but still it sort of feels the same.
 
i don't know what i would want or like but the thing is he should at least be considerate enough and all.  one already knows if one is capable of loving someone, so if the answer is no, one should atleast have the decency to let that someone know, right? it's not about hurting someone else's feelings.. one would be able to hurt that person anyway, sooner or later one will.  it's also not about keeping friends, because we all know there will never be pure friendship if one feels more than the other.  you can't say you don't want the person to go away because that person is your friend, specially if the other one thinks more of you than just friends, that would be using the person to your advantage.  in a way or another there are things that you can't let go of in that person.  and if that's not love for that person then that must be something else.. most of the time it's ego boosting or just plain taking advantage of that person's weakness, you.
 
i hate it. i totally hate it.  i don't know why i got myself in this position or if ever i have been in this before, have i?
 
i don't have much strength left to think about it.
 
but as far as my mind can process i can't think of such an incident.  because i think all of them became close to me because they have other things in mind and that's not just friendship.  yes, all five guys.
 
i know he once admitted that he likes me but less than 24 hours after he took it back because we haven't met yet or the akwardness is unbearable.  i'm in a situation i've never been before.  there are things i want to do. there are things i want to say but all of these things could make or break it.  can i risk the chance of losing him?  well, i don't want to ask if i want to lose this feeling, because yes, i do, but i don't want losing him in the process as well. 
 
This sucks.. this sucks big time!
 
waaah!!

16 July 2004

too long.. too quiet..


the pain in my tummy is nothing but hunger. i want to curl up and contemplate on the pain it brings but i'd rather keep a straight face and continue this so-called life..


i'm not sure what hurts more.. the pain in my tummy or the other pain in my ears because of the screaming silence of this other part of the world.


is it drought? or maybe worse it's already sun shiny happy in this other part of the world that i no longer count as an inhabitant...


how to take this, i'm not sure.. because i know i have no right to claim a piece of land where someone already owns. besides i didn't even try getting it away from them.


you can't loose what you never had..hurt? i can see no tears.. does that mean this is victory? i miss the Magic 8 Ball Toy...

05 July 2004

lines from lilo and stitch: haaay..



Lilo: Oh good! My dog found the chainsaw!


Stitch: [While using a VW Beetle to defend himself against attackers] Blue punch buggy... no punch-back!

Stitch: This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.

Lilo: Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten.

Lilo: [explaining the death of her parents to Stitch] It was raining, and they went for a drive. What happened to yours? I hear you crying at night. Are you thinking about them? I know that's why you wreck things, and push me.

Lilo: I'm sorry I bit you... and pulled your hair... and punched you in the face...

Lilo: [creating voodoo dolls of her playmates] My friends need to be punished.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Thus far, you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience.

Pleakley: Oh great! He's loose!
Jumba: His destructive programming is taking effect. He'll be irresistibly drawn to large cities where he'll back up plumbing, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe.

Stitch: Aloha!
Gantu: Ah! You're vile; you're foul; you're flawed!
Stitch: Also cute and fluffy!

Nani: Lilo! There you are, "Honey Face!" This is Mr..."Bubbles."
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Nice to meet you.
Lilo: Your knuckles say "cobra"..."Cobra Bubbles"... you don't... *look* like a social worker.
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: I'm a special classification.
Lilo: Did you ever kill anyone?
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: We're getting off the subject. Let's talk about you. Are you... happy?
Lilo: I'm adjusted.
[Repeats what Nani is signing to her behind Bubbles' back]
Lilo: I eat four food groups and look both ways befroe crossing the street... and take long naps... and get disciplined?
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: "Disciplined?"
Lilo: Yeah! She disciplines me real good. Sometimes fives times a day! With bricks!
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: "Bricks?"
Lilo: Uh huh... in a pillow case...

Nani: I think it's a koala, an evil koala.
Jumba: WHAT? after all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? JUST LIKE THAT?
Stitch: [alien language] Ih.
Jumba: Fine!
Pleakley: "Fine"? You're doing what he says?
Jumba: He's very persuasive!

Lilo: Leave me alone to diiiiie.

Hula Teacher: Lilo, why are you all wet?
Lilo: It's sandwich day. Every Thursday I take Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich...
Hula Teacher: "Pudge" is a fish?
Lilo: And today we were out of peanut butter. So I asked my sister what to give him, and she said "a tuna sandwich". I can't give Pudge tuna.
[whispering]
Lilo: Do you know what tuna IS?
Hula Teacher: Fish?
Lilo: [hysterical] It's fish. If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination. I'm late because I had to go to the store and get peanut butter 'cause all we have is... is... Stinkin' tuna.
Hula Teacher: Lilo, Lilo, why is this so important?
Lilo: [calm] Pudge controls the weather.

Captain Gantu: Abomination!
Stitch: Stupid-head!

Stitch: Poocha Chubugga Oom Chickee! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Lilo: Our family's little now, and we don't have many toys... But if you want, you could be a part of it. You could be our baby, and we'd raise you to be good.

Jumba: Come on, what's the big deal?
Stitch: [in alien language] Oongatish mista!
Jumba: I'll put you back together again... I'll make you taller, and not so fluffy!
[whips plates at Stitch, frisbee style]
Stitch: I like fluffy!
[after there is a ring of holes around Stitch]
Stitch: [in alien language] Ah, Pooama Chicky!
Jumba: Ach! Leave my mother out of this!

Nani: I shouldn't have yelled at you...
Lilo: We're sisters... It's our job.
Nani: Yeah, well, from now on...
Lilo: I like you better as a sister than a mom.
Nani: Yeah?
Lilo: And you like me better as a sister than a rabbit, right?

Lilo: A falling star... I call it!... Get out, get out! I have to make a wish!
[Pushes Nani out of her room]
Lilo: Can't you go any faster?
Nani: Oh no! Gravity is increasing on me!
[Nani begins to fall on Lilo]
Lilo: No, it's not!
Nani: Is too, Lilo; the same thing happened yesterday.
Lilo: You rotten sister, your butt is crushing me! Why do you act so wierd?

Rescue Lady: Oh yes, mmhmm, all of our dogs are adoptable
[Lilo walks in with Stitch]
Rescue Lady: Except that one!
Nani: What is that thing?
Rescue Lady: A dog, I think... But it was dead this morning...
Nani: It was dead this morning?
Rescue Lady: Well we thought it was dead, it was hit by a truck!

Lilo: [Sitting at a table with Stitch] David! I got a new dog!
David: Auwe... You sure it's a dog?
Lilo: Uh huh... He used to be a collie before he got ran over.

Lilo: Did you lose your job because of Stitch and me?
Nani: Nah... the manager's a vampire and he wanted me to join his legion of the undead.
Lilo: I knew it!

Nani: Did you catch fire again?
David: No just the stage.

Lilo: Don't worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read her diary.
David: She thinks it's fancy?

Lilo: Did you ever... kill anyone?
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: We're getting off-subject here.

Lilo: Elvis Presley was a model citizen. I've compiled a list of his traits for you to practice. Number one... is dancing!

Jumba: So, tell me, my little one-eyed one... on what poor, pitiful, defenseless planet has my "monstrosity" been unleashed?

Grand Councilwoman: What if our military forces just landed there?
Pleakley: Well that'll be a BAD IDEA! These are extremely simple creatures miss. Landing there would create mass mayhem and planet wide panic!

Rescue lady: You have to think of a name for him.
Lilo: His name is..."Stitch."
Rescue lady: Now that's not a real name...
[Nani gesturing "NO"]
Rescue lady: ...in Iceland. But here it's a good name! "Stitch" it is.

Stitch: Aloha!

Grand Councilwoman: How do you plead?
Jumba: Not guilty! My experiments are only theoretical, and completely within legal boundaries.
Grand Councilwoman: We believe you actually... created something.
Jumba: "Created something?" Hah! But that would be irresponsible and unethical. I would never, ever...
[Stitch is revealed]
Jumba: ...make... more than one.

Nani: You are so finished when I get in there! I'm gonna stuff you in the blender, push "puree," then bake you into a pie and feed it to the social worker! And when he says, "Mmmm, this is great, what's your secret?" I'm gonna say...
[Looks up, notices Cobra Bubbles]
Nani: ..."Love... and... nurturing..."

Grand Councilwoman: What is that monstrousity?
Jumba: Monstrousity? What you see before you is the beginning of a new species. I call it Experiment 626. It is fire-proof, bullet-proof, and can think faster than super computer. It can see in the dark, and lift objects three thousand times its size. It's only instinct... to destroy everything it touches! Ha ha ha ha!
Grand Councilwoman: So it IS a monster.
Jumba: Just a little one.

David: [to Stitch] So you're from outer space? I hear the surfing is choice.

Captain Gantu: Place that idiot scientist under arrest!
Jumba: I prefer to be called "Evil Genius!"

Grand Councilwoman: Are they intelligent?
Pleakley: No. But they're very delicate. In fact, every time an asteroid strikes their planet, they have to begin life all over.

Nani: Oh, you are such a pain.
Lilo: Then why don't you sell me an' buy a rabbit instead?
Nani: At least a rabbit would behave better than you!
Lilo: Good! Then you'll be happy cuz it'll be smarter than me too!
Nani: And quieter!
Lilo: You'll like it cuz it's stinky like you!
[Lilo slam her bedroom door]
Nani: Go to your room!
Lilo: I'm already in my room!

Pleakley: Oh, can't complain, Mom. I'm camping out here with a convicted criminal. And, uh, oh; I had my head chewed on by a monster!

[meeting the social worker after unknowingly damaging his car]
Nani: You must be...
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: The "stupidhead."
Nani: Oh. Ohhhh! Listen, I am really sorry about that, and if I had known who you were, of course I would never ever... I can pay for that.
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: It's a rental. Are you the guardian in question?
Nani: Yes, I'm Nani, nice to meet you Mr...
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Bubbles.
Nani: Mr. "Bubbles?" That's a strange...
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: Yes I know. Are you going to invite me in, "Nani?"

[Stitch is running away]
Lilo: "Ohana" means "family." "Family" means "no one gets left behind." But if you want to leave, you can. I'll remember you though.
[looking at her picture of her dead parents]
Lilo: I remember everyone that leaves.

Jumba: Yes, that's it; come quietly.
Stitch: W-... wa-... waiting.
Jumba: For what?
Stitch: Family.

Lilo: You know, you wreck everything you touch. Why don't you try and make something for a change?
[Stitch starts building a city out of what he finds in Lilos room]
Lilo: Wow. San Francisco.
[Stitch begins to destroy the city like the monster in "Eath vs. the Spider", picking up a toy car]
Stitch: [As car passengers] "Eeeeeek! Save me!"
Lilo: No more caffeine for you.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles: [to Lilo] Aliens are all about rules.
Grand Councilwoman: You look familiar...
Mr. Cobra Bubbles: CIA. Roswell. 1973
Grand Councilwoman: Ah yes. You had hair then.

Nani: You smell like a lawn mower.

Lilo: This is your badness level. It's unusually high for someone your size.

[Stitch and Jumba are tossing a jammed up gun back and forth]
Stitch: Merry Christmas.
Jumba: It's not Christmas.
Stitch: Happy Channukah!
Jumba: One potato...
Stitch: ...two potato...
Jumba: ...three potato...
Stitch: ...four...
Jumba: ...five potato...
Stitch: ...six potato...
Jumba: ...seven potato, more...
Stitch: ...and...
Jumba: ...my...
Stitch: ...mother...
Jumba: ...told...
Stitch: ...me...
Jumba: ...you...
Stitch: ...are...
Jumba: ...it. I win!

Lilo: You came back.
Stitch: "Nobody gets left behind."

Nani: ...something that won't die. Something... sturdy... you know?
Lilo: Like a lobster!
Nani: Lilo, you lolo! Do we have a lobster door? No! We have a dog door! We are getting a dog!

Lilo: We're leaving Stitch?
Pleakley: Trust me, this is NOT going to end well!

Alien: Confirmed, he's taken a police cruiser.
Second Alien: He, uh, he took the red one.

Nani: Now talk! I know you can.
Stitch: Ok, ok.
[Nani freaks and smacks him down with a tree branch]

Lilo: Don't leave me, ok?
Stitch: Ok.

Pleakley: Look! A mosquito has chosen me as her perch. She's so beautiful. There's another one, and another. It's a whole flock. They like me. They're nuzzling my flesh with their noses. Now they're... they're... Aaaaaaaah!

Captain Gantu: Aw. Uncomfortable? Good! The council has sentenced you to exile on a deserted asteroid. So relax, enjoy the trip... and don't get any ideas. These guns are linked to your genetic signature. They won't shoot anyone but you.


image source

01 July 2004

psyched

i know it's wrong to lead someone on. would you think it's unfair? don't worry, i won't blame others when they start to hate me because of this.

so, why do i continue to do this? well, it was just a one time thing and i think it would be the last. well, i sure hope so. i half like and half hate the feeling..

bad trip.. i know he won't understand or maybe he also do.

am i expanding my options or am i just taking advantage of the situation?

waaah!

i'm not confused. i still know what i want. but to explain my actions i don't know.

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