¤ § here we go..

this is getting freaky.. getting scary.. i'm once again in a very vulnerable spot. a very awkward place. somewhere i always hated to be in.

it's just that i hate being in the positong that makes me feel i'm in control when i'm really not. a place where i'm most likely to expect since that's the only thing you can do. and the waiting sucks. i'm not very good in waiting and there are just things that can't help but go into my mind..

expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect! expect the worst but don't expect!

waaaah!!

paranoia

Definitions of Paranoia on the Web:

When a person feels distrustful of others. He may believe someone is out to get him or hurt him in some way.
www.in.gov/fssa/shape/glossary.html

A belief that the actions of others is demeaning or threatening. Feelings of being exploited or harmed by others. Questioning loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates.
www.gainsctr.com/curriculum/juvenile/glossary.htm

Irrational distrust of others, delusions of persecution, often strenuously defended with apparent logic and reason.
www.analyticaltrilogy.org/pages/glossary.html

rare psychiatric syndrome marked by the gradual development of a highly elaborate and complex delusional system
specialed.peoriaud.k12.az.us/disgloss.htm

A psychosis characterized by a system of delusions with often include the belief of persecution or grandeur without hallucinations.
depression.about.com/library/glossary/blglossaryindexp.htm

these are the things that i've been waiting to happen, but now that it's already standing in front of me i just can't muster up enough courage to grab a hold of it because i know, sooner or later it will just fade in front of my eyes.. what i'm actually really thinking about is that it would fade out anyway.. in a couple of days.. i know it will.. one day.. the day that i will be crushed.. if i will go and grab it.. but if i won't take this, i know i'll regret it. so, can i get hold of this one and still keep a pessimistic point of view.. waaah!!

waaaah!!!

grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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