avoiding pain

why are Christians avoiding pain? When it does come to pass and it's part of living life?

am i a masochist for wanting those hurtful things?

i want the hurt of falling inlove. i would like to know the pain of losing someone because of death.

i was never able and i guess never will cry to my mom regarding my heartbreaks. well, because, it would just end up, her scolding me, worse, let our pastor know. eeeewww!

you need to have a Christian boy friend.. and you need to finish your studies first. but we don't have the money to send you to school, and we don't really trust the boys your age at church.

rapture.

but i would be asking myself, what if? what does it feel like? is it that painful? am i strong enought to move on? how will i treat our memories together?

one question to be answered when thingking about marrying someone..

do you love this person enough to be able to stand the pain of lossing him forever? create more memories that would make it harder to let go?

love and death.. the hurts i would like to have. at least, once in this life.

i want to cry again.. but for different reasons. i want to feel and have emotions again.