ode to joy

why don't i write when i'm happy?

why can't i make the words flow when i'm in love?

i thought of writing here while i was happy and in love. well, i did. there was a time that i did. and i was lost for words.

i thought of doing it again today, but then, before i got here, i managed to mess everything up.

life is a viscious cycle, yet it's equally viscious to end it.

reasons. i'm always in search for reasons. maybe i don't really know the reasons or i don't want the reasons i come up with to be right.