prologue

this is to be discussed on a longer amount of time on hand. this is to be discussed with a much saner mind. but reading my old posts, back when i was all alone, or so i thought, i need to right about this.. my current state.

how am i doing? really..

i'm alone again. lonely, yes. but that's fine right? because i'm alone.

i still can smile. i can't laugh, for real, but i can smile. that's enough.

i know that there's an offer to be no longer alone, but is that the door to leave sadness as well.. maybe not.

i want my thoughts to be sorted out. i want to be able to decide and stand by them. my head aches, and i blame the physical aspects. but my chest aches too. i remember to have felt emotional pain that is so great that it's almost physical. now, i can't tell the difference.

all i need is to be loved. i have felt it. and i also felt it drift away.

i know i am the problem. or am i really? i just haven't found that one who would love me for me, inspite of me..

maybe bliss now realizes this. or maybe not. i guess, there's no telling what. until i take the plunge.

am i ready to fall flat on my face again? or should i just let it pass by?