Hard Lessons on Love and Men... from Grey's Anatomy (repost from ate kang)

1. A man won't let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone whohas let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you.Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is anotherreason he is not willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only onereason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do notwaste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move onand be open to a man who will truly love you.

3. Do not get hung up on your past. Do not nag or distrust your currentboyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or therelationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same wayas your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him tolook for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. Itwas not because you didn't guard him enough or you didn't make him happyenough.

4. Do not look into images. How many times have you met a man/girl who didn'thave the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the man/girl and found out he was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images.Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your"supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.

5. Always have your own set of rules. Set your limits on how far you'd gofor a guy. It's perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it'sworth it.. And it's worth it if the guy is treating you right.

6. Do not be scared to lose him. Don't be scared that he'll break up withyou. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage.Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.

7. Avoid calling your guy. It's a guy thing. The relationship willdefinitely be better if it's the guy who's calling, not the girl. He willget tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest andchallenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it's a girl thing also thatyour fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much aspossible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions arereasonable).

8. There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can makeyou feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during yourfirst few weeks together. So don't lose hope. Don't settle for a lesbian ifyou are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love youlike a girl can. Also, do not believe him when he says it's just the way hereally is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during yourfirst few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is notthat into you anymore.

9. Always be the only one, no matter what. Do not ever fall for a guy whohas another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says hejust can't get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that heloves you and for some reason, he can't leave or let go of another girl,then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.

10. He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, heshould always show respect towards you.

11. If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can nevertrust nor respect the person again.

12. Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl'sman, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrongreasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex,man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wastingmore years of your life.

13. Do not force yourself into a relationship. Do not get into arelationship just because your friends are getting impatient with yourdating escapades and the one hasn't come yet.. Do not choose who to say yesto based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc.. If you areeven thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.

14. Do not settle. If you are not happy anymore with your relationship,break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how uprighthe might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness inhis life.

15. A relationship has to have love. Love is the only thing that will pushyou to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me,keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.

16. Don't be afraid to be single. It's fun to be single, try it. You can goout whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever youwant and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for thesake of having one. Do not settle.

17. Be a good girl. Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter therelationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationshipseriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person(of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years) .If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know thatthe latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.

18. Love without limits. Whether you loved and gave everything or loved butheld out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. Butif you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it wasworth it. If you didn't give your all, you get hurt for nothing.

19. You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends andyou are free to love another.

20. Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinderhis gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you asimportant. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in hislife.