tears for my cake

i'm good at messing things up..

i'm capable of turning myself invisible.. even during the times i don't want to.

i can't stop but wonder why or how things are the way they are..

i want to cry but i can't because no one would be wiping them away..

i want to shout but i can't because no one would hear them anyway.

i wonder why i feel this way when everyone around me expects me to be happy.. my birhday season has got to stop. it has to stop!

for me to forget the wretched day i was born, for people to stop wishing me a happy one and when they ask how it went, i can't answer straight because i never really had one.

i'm not the grinch nor oscar the grouch, though i love color green, i'm just seeing things as they are.

expect the worst but don't expect

the way how i will always see life.

behind the laughter and the smiles are tears falling with no one to wipe them dry..

i guess i'll never learn, loving people and giving them your all and in the end they never really loved you in the first place.

it hurts.. it will always hurt..