reflections

waah..

just had a very emotional day and i think the next one will be too.. if not worse..

emotional at some point that i got so happy, so mad, so sad..

haaay..

life.. in a few more days i'll turn twenty and there are things in my life that i'm so happy about. i know there are times when i don't really appreciate them or that i don't give them much credit but then as i go and think about it life wouldn't have been complete.. i know it's too much to say that my life is already complete, wtf, there are a lot of things i don't have.. but then you know that sense of wholeness that you feel everytime you think about those certain bits and peices of your life that you just can't help but stop and smile.

it just hurts and pains me that you can't really turn back time. that there are things you wish undone but there's nothing you can do.. time already took it and it will never come back. there are things i want to fix.. but i know i just can't. i would have to live with it. sometimes i ask, now that i'm already steady and has already accepted the things i could not change, do i really want to go back and change all that happened. it's just that my brain can't stop from working hyper drive and think of a million what if's and if only's. at least i have a clear view of the things i want to get back on and things i'd rather leave behind.. well, except for one thing that still baffles me and still gives me the shivers and second thoughts about things.