and when i thought i was waiting in vain. when i was a day close to settling everything.. there he goes.
his message was so insecure. i'm not really expecting that from him. i always thought he was so certain that i would not walk away..
so, i stumbled.
eytsphee~
this scene made me sob. i was not able to do that for a long time already. i know how emotional ally mcbeal can make me, but i did not expect that i would be actually sobbing. and i really can't imagine that i would be sobbing because of a nelle porter scene.
Elaine comes to Richard (who is standing next to Nelle) and says they are having a problem with John. She says he's in the unisex and he just keeps dismounting. They all go to the unisex where they find John going round and round on a stall and Georgia stuck on the other side of the room. John doesn't let go until Nelle tells him to. He has built up so much force that he is propelled into the stall in front of him, accidentally flushing the toilet. Nelle tells everyone to get out. She turns and opens a stall door and finds Elaine in it. "Unless you'd like me to do the other shin," Nelle says. "Itchbay," says Elaine. When they are finally alone, Nelle tells John that anger may not be any more attractive on him but it's certainly more exciting. "You made fun of my stuttering and my smile therapy," he says. "You are a mean woman." Nelle says she was an angry woman and a threatened one. John wonders why. "You and Ally connect on a very odd but fundamental level and this notion of waiting for the one person who's all things -- I think I'm afraid that if you do that, I'm not that person," she says. "I don't want children. You do. This inner world thing – I don't share that, and, Barry White? I don't believe in two people interlocking in every way, and this Ally McBeal 'it takes two to make one" nonsense, it just makes me want to vomit." John asks why they are even bothering with each other if they are so different. "I want to be with someone different from me," Nelle says. John says that differences can be fatal. "Why can't two people grow together? Meet somewhere in the middle. I can learn to appreciate some of your likes and vice versa," she says. She asks him to name something he wants her to do and she will work on it. He looks in the mirror and hears Barry White. "Oh, God," Nelle says. "That one's non-negotiable," John says. Nelle says she likes Barry White. John says he needs her to love Barry White. "I'm beginning to love you," Nelle says, "Don't you get that? And every time she comes running to you, it just makes me insecure, that you'll run to her." "I'm not running anywhere," John says, "You gave me a frog. You gave me Barry White. I'm not going anywhere. And, I'm beginning to love you, too." They smile and kiss, then share a very long hug.
I Try
Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I belive that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But were not
I play it off, but Im dreaming of you
And Ill try to keep my cool, but Im feenin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, its clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, its clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
I may appear to be free
But Im just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but Im dreaming of you
And Ill try to keep my cool, but Im feenin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, its clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, its clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I cant deny
Deny
I play it off, but Im dreaming of you
(but Im dreaming of you babe)
And Ill keep my cool, but Im feenin
I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide, its clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not near aahh)
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, its clear (say it lord)
My world crumbles when you are not here
We got it together, didn't we?
Nobody but you and me.
We got it together, baby.
My first, my last, my everything,
And the answer to all my dreams.
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star.
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are.
I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two.
You're, you're all I'm living for
Your love I'll keep for evermore.
You're the first, my last, my everything.
In you I've found so many things,
A love so new, only you could bring.
Can't you see if you,
You'll make me feel this way,
You're like a first morning dew on a brand new day.
I see so many ways that I can love you,
'Till the day I die....
You're my reality, yet I'm lost in a dream.
You're my first, my last, my everything.
[instrumental]
I know there's only one, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two.
Girl, you're my reality.
But I'm lost in a dream,
You're the first, you're the last, my everything.
my new favorite song.. i think. it's really applicable to most of them and it has little hope in the last line. i could really use that hope.
Knew the signs wasn't right
I was stupid, for a while
Swept away, by you
And now I feel like a fool
Chorus
So confused
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be
Verse 2
Catch myself, from despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy, everyday
I know I will be ok
Chorus
But I'm
So confused
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn't see
We were never meant to be
Bridge
So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time
You'll be out of my mind
I'll be over you
puerto gallera
end of the race - lost
road trip
batangas
frustration, realization and good bye?
open ended
playing with fire
looking at the future
asthma
almost car accident - wanting to end this
removing isp
random thoughts
no order, no time line
sleepy with head ache
want to sleep but can't
got first pay out
waiting in vain
making someone wait.. in vain
thinking
sorting things out
needs time
a lot of time
a year or two
but already acting on it
dangerous
hurting someone
mind games
over it
funny
laughter
smile
behind this smile is everything you will never understand
expect the worst, but don't expect
nanoplex split
can't breathe
a-z list
head ache
"lokohan"
emotions
this actually took about 10 minutes..
pathetic
Last Sunday I was able to catch the full trailer of the much awaited movie here in the Philippines. The team up of Regine Velasquez and Piolo Pascual.
As I watch the trailer, it's not as typical as I thought it would be.. and I actually appreciate its difference.
I really like it when things are not running smoothly or it's not all happy.
As much as the trailer would show, I really loved Piolo's lines. When Regine asked if he already loves her, he said, "I'm getting there." And when things get rough and Regine asks for confirmation or assurance of his love, he said, "I never got there." Winner!!
I would really love to see this movie. It has been a long time since I anticipated a Filipino movie. I can't even remember the last one.
This would be showing on theaters on May 30. I hope I would get to see this with my special someone.. hehehehe!
this actually was supposed to be a bataan/puerto gallera weekend with our team. then, it was supposed to be a baguio weekend. and as it turned out, it became a gapan weekend. and i really had a wonderful time.
it was really frustrating for him to not be able to pursue the baguio plan, but of course, he chose to be a good son. i know that would be really sad to bear alone, so, i'd rather spend time with him. the baguio trip was really not that appealing without him.
it's ate kriz's birthday. and since she's out of the country, the celebration was not that visible. i really feel bad of not being able to go and bid her good bye.
of course, it didn't start of good, tope was there though to entertain me. hehehe! he's really so cute. haaay.. i just hope when and if i get to have a child it would be as cute as he is.
then i get to get some sleep. i wasn't able to sleep on the way there. vin diesel movies were playing and it was hard not to watch.
then, the usual brawl. hehehe!
we were craving for pizza hut's new pizza. unfortunately there was no pizza hut nearby. i really wanted to watch spiderman 3 with him and it's a good thing there was a nearby cinema, it was not imax but that's alright. so, when we learned that we were no longer going house to house, we grabbed the chance to go and do these things.
we settled for greenwich since it was the only pizza restaurant there. then we ate it inside the theater while watching spiderman3!
i then realized that he's really a good buddy in watching movies. like me, he doesn't talk much if not needed and we'd react at the same things at the same time. we made fun even at the same things and get annoyed with the other people watching the film. we even forced ourselves to finish the pizza before the actual movie started. i don't really like eating while watching the movie. but of course, each other's presence was not really ignored. 
we're still full when we got home. so, we didn't have dinner anymore. then, after much deliberation, we decided to have a late snack. we had lugaw etc. then, went to bed.
it was actually nice seeing his friends again. i really do get entertained and i won't stop laughing without really making fun of them or being rude. and, i know our set up was really weird for them, but i guess, they learned to accept things. i just hope they don't pity me that much. heheheh!
i woke up really early the next day because kuya hart was constantly reminding us that we would need to go to church. so, i went ahead and took a bath and all. but of course, it was already too late for us to join the mass because it was already finished and they were almost still in bed.
it was nice seing sandy again. he's working everyday that's why he wasn't able to go with them that much. i missed his laugh.
back to work. we again went house to house. it was really exhausting and the scorching heat is not really helpful.
we were holding hands more often now. not that i'm complaining. i just need to stop thinking.
we went back just in time for lunch. i was starting to get really sleepy already. unfortunately, there's no place to sleep since the big guys were inside the room watching a boxing match.
good thing.. there was some power failure.. and since it was a relatively small room for about 6 big guys, it would be very hot. so, with what was left with the air conditioned room, we went inside and lied down. and just as i expected, after a couple of minutes, the power went back up. but they were already satisfied in watching the boxing match outside, so we stayed inside with kuya hart and watched the rest of the match.. and we caught the full trailer of regine and piolo's new movie.
i was really sleepy and i really want to sleep.. but his friends went to the "mall" and was texting him that they were playing bingo.
it was kinda exciting and fun, but we're both not much into gambling so we got tired about after a set or two. we spent about, a hundred bucks for the both of us already. of course we didn't win. we both declared to be unlucky with these sort of things.
i thought of something, too bad i voiced it out during the last game already. but it made us survive the rest of the game. whoever gets a number, would snap at the other. i was on a winning streak! he was able to snap back at me twice only i think.. and thanks to kiki's training, the back of his hand was really red already.. heheheh! liked it a lot..
then, we went around the mall.. they saw a studio and we went and had our pictures taken. we didn't really need to twist any arm to be able to get copies of both shots. hehehehe!
when we got back to the kubo.. they had merienda and a few chit chat.. i love the rocking chair scene.. 
until, the big guys came back.. a little drunk.. but i guess, that's alright. i still was stealing a few shut eyes.. then, it was dinner time, and time to get the party started.
of course, they would need to take a bath and prepare.. so, it was another chance for me to sleep. but it was really hard. i think i wasn't able to get at least two minutes of shut eye.
there were a couple of revelations.. but i guess, i would just need to choose which would affect me or not. the boy friend.. the proposal..
he again asked me what song i want him to sing.. i can't remember the songs i once had someone else sang for me. but i think it would be rude to ask him to sing those songs too.. he was never really able to finish any song for me. this time i asked him to sing, "alipin" by shamrock. i was the one who actually finished the song for him..
we sang a lot of songs that night. and it was really nice. everything went well. until of course the next morning. it would really be hard not to annoy him.. but i guess that was normal and i understand where it was coming from.
i practicaly ate and ran. but that's alright, i guess. i don't want to be on the way when they start to go on with the campaign. how funny and awkward it seemed when i called his mom and dad, tita and tito respectively, when i'm more comfortable calling them mommy and daddy. i was just a little scared of what their reactions would be. i was not able to say good bye to the okamas. but i think they would understand.
of course, i would again not receive any messages from him after this. i know it seems like that we're only a couple when we're physically together. it's sad, it's hard, but i'm still happy.. we're both still happy. and i know it would be wrong to say that we don't have a choice. so, i'm not saying that. most of the times, it's just ...
* i just heard this song over the radio.. i downloaded the song.. i've been listening to it for quite some time now.. i really like it's sound or melody or however you call it.. i can't help but sing along with the lyrics.. but i didn't really understand the whole song.. until now that i read the lyrics. i'm not sure if i like it less now. it's just plain not right. sad, but i do think these things happen. and it's really sad.. i should know.*
Lips of an Angel
Hinder
Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why you calling me so late?
Can you name 13 of ur classmates in high school that u can think of right off the top of your head.
1. beng
2. menan
3. pol
4. al
5. percival
6. cza
7. dyan
8. len
9. sarah
10. angela
11. anna
12. philip
13. mai
How did you meet 10?
we met in fifth grade.. i can't really remember the first sight.
What would you do if you had never met 1?
i would think i'm so weird and so different.
What would you do if 6 and 2 date?
sasabunutan ko si number 6.. but i don't think she would do that. she's my best friend.
Have you ever seen 4 cry?
i can't remember.. on stage, yes.
Do you think 10 is cute?
in her own way
How did you get to know 8?
classmates since elementary..
Would you ever go on a date with number 12?
friendly date of course..
What's 7's Favorite color?
purple! if i remember it right.. hehehe!
What would you do if 5 confessed he/she loved you?
waaaahh!!! i did too! bwahahahah!
Fact about 9:
she's the eldest and the only girl in the family.. tama ba?!
Who is 4 going out with?
some girl he met in college.. in their theater org i believe.
what is number 5 to you?
my first kiss
Would you ever live with 13?
share the same house.. sure! why not? we'll have lots of fun!
Is 2 single?
I'm not really sure right now.. last time i checked he's not.
Where does 7 live?
in lolomboy.. i would know how to get there, but i don't know the address.
What do you think about 3?
so much fun to be with
What's the best thing about number 8?
sincere
What do you like about number 11?
frank and sweet
Favorite Memory with 1?
waaah!! too many to mention! i can't pick one. maybe, the oldest i can think of.. would be either that long hours over the phone or watching "While You Were Sleeping"..
