11 Painful Things

11 Painful Things

1. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget. stitch

2. Reminiscin' the good times. stitch

3. Trying to hide what you really feel. stitch

4. Loving someone who loves another. too many to mention.. will, empi

5. Having a commitment with someone that you know wouldn't last. stitch

6. Shielding your heart to love somebody. will, stitch,

7. Loving a person too much. stitch

8. Right love at the wrong time. jimmy

9. Taking risk to fall in love again. stitch, ron, right now

10. Accepting that it was never meant to be. stitch

11. What if's... will, jimmy, empi and crushes..

.. and karen was skeptic that i indeed experienced everything on the list.

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confession

i texted.. i asked.. and as usual.. no reply. since, this would be nothing new, i was not disappointed. i would even be scared if there was a reply since, basically, i don't think i'm ready.. in every aspect.

i stopped myself from texting him.. because i don't really know what to say.. wel, there are things i want to say, but all would look very trampy.. and i don't want that. i even thought of sending out an email with his message, period. but that would be so, untimely. i think. i should wait till my birthday, maybe and make sure i have no extra baggage left.

as usual, this would once again test my patience. can i hold that long or if i'll be able to, would i still do it?

so far, i don't think i was able to do such.. wait to do something. i was able to wait, but was not able to do what i wanted to.. i was able to do things, but earlier than the period of time i've set. breaking my own words.

so, basically, i'm not over him. maybe i never will, since i almost had him. almost.

hmm.. let me make a list of the guys i almost had.. so, that excludes those who still wants me.

brian, chito, viktor, will, cedo..

and they all ended up on the same spot. girl friend. some already have, others on the rocks and the rest ended up having one, and that's not me. hmpf! heheh! but that's okay.. *with a tight tummy*

moral lesson of the story: run away from scenes that has the potential of ending up the same way with arms wildly waving and don't forget to scream.

but pretty much i was able to get over them eventually. i can't say who was the hardest to get over with. so, this would. well, all would.

the things is, until then i can't say..

but pretty much, learn from your mistakes and put your motto in life to use.

hmm.. i'm okay again!

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movie trivia: dead man's chest

• The gigantic wheel weighed at 1800 pounds standing at 18 feet tall.
• Bill Nighy performed most of his role as Davy Jones in motion capture suit, later to be created entirely with CGI
• First film to feature Disney's new logo, a computer-generated model of the Magic Kingdom, replacing the blue and white silhouette.
• The game that Will Turner plays with Davy Jones with the dice is called Liar's Dice, a gambling game where each player has to make consecutively higher bids based upon how many of each die they claim are on the table (two threes, four fives, etc), until a player is called a liar, in which case all the dice are shown and it's seen if the bid is correct.
  
• At $132 million dollars domestically in its opening weekend, this movie smashed the previously believed "unbreakable" record of $114.8 million dollars that Spider-Man held. It is the biggest weekend opener of all time.
  

I reall can't get over this movie.. Really is comparable to Empire Strikes Back...

I cried.. I believe twice.. When Will's dad was to whip him and when Jack died.. woohoo! what a spoiler! heheheh!

I loved the fight scenes.. specially with the wheel.

After the movie, people were clapping their hands and basically everyone let out a sigh of aggravation! waaah! a real cliff hanger, but you would not mind the time and feel that there's another installment. You'll be really caught unaware..

Loved the movie!

Before watching I told my friend that I missed Johnny Depp, then he said, he misses Orlando Bloom, I told him, I don't miss Orlando, he always goes to our place, that's why.. heheheheh!

aaawww.. i can't help but think of the person whom i really associate the face of orlando bloom with.. haaay.. but that's okay. a good feeling actually.

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just popped out of my mind

for no one in particular.. (defensive?!?)

Beginning Today
Agot Isidro

Beginning today I promise you
I give my heart to you
Beginning today I promise to
Never part from you
From now on I will be right by your side
And I swear other things I'll put aside
Beginning today
Beginning today
(I promise you I give my heart to you)
Beginning today there's no one else
On my mind
Beginning today there's nobody else
Right here inside my heart
From now on I will be right by your side
And I swear other things I'll put aside
From now on there'll be no one else on my mind
Beginning today (Beginning today)
Beginning today
(I promise you)
Beginning today
(I give my heart to you)
From now on I will be right by your side
And I'd swear other things I'll put aside
From now on there'll be no one else on my mind
Beginning today (Beginning today)
Beginning today
And I'd swear other things I'll put aside
From now on there'll be no one else on my mind
Beginning today
Beginning today
(I promise you I give my heart to you)
Beginning today

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waaah!

while i was searching for monologues for kiki.. i found this.. and it just killed me..

A letter
by Emily Picha
Maria and her boyfriend have not been able to see each other for a few months since they met at a youth retreat. They have been keeping in touch via letters and phone calls, and this is a particular rough spot.


I'm better. Had a conference with myself. Just wanted you to know that. I have some questions. If we were able to see eachother more would it make it any better? If we were able to talk on the phone more would it make it okay? If we were able to talk about our lives instead of our feelings in our letters would it make it better? I don't know. I just can't end this. That would make me feel really horrible. But you're going to do what you're going to do. I'm sad and sick and sorry about your letter. And I'm sorry you've been depressed about this, I haven't because I've been ecstatic about the whole concept of you.

But if we stop talking now, what do we do when we see eachother and I have feelings for you still? Can I hug you? Kiss you? Or do I have to act like a saint because we're "friends?"

I guess I'll just deal with it when the time comes. If you want to stop writing you won't touch the keyboard. And I'll fight my hardest trying not to touch mine. I'll erase you from my address book. But you won't be erased from my mind.

I don't understand how you can go from being mooshy and "I want to hold you"-icious to wanting to be platonic. I don't understand how people can just STOP having "feelings" for eachother. That doesn't happen! I can't just install a stop sign in our intersecting lives (oh gee i'm gettin very metaphoric). If you want to come up here the week after school ends the doors are open. If you don't want to be involved then I guess you won't make the trip. I want you to hold me again. I want the chance to have my FIRST kiss. WITH YOU.

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pain

a symptom of some physical hurt or disorder

emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid

a somatic sensation of acute discomfort

cause emotional anguish or make miserable

there. proven my theory once again that i'm not meant to be happy for a long time. i'm still not sure though what to change or what to think because there are a lot of things that are different and a lot of things did change along the process. i'm sometimes thinking about how or why and what. i don't want to think. but keeping myself from thinking would give me headaches and a tremendous heavy feeling inside my chest that i'm no longer certain if it's something physical or something emotional.

i want to talk to them. or at least write. but i don't seem to be fit yet to do so. it was fun reading my past entry that has the same concept. i even thought of doing that but maybe not today.

who's singing?

in less than two hours i'd be going home.. i think.

and i've been stopping myself to write. but then again, i just can't resist to pour out my thoughts.

actually there are a lot of things to figure and straighten out. how? i used to believe whenever i write i'm able to do that but it just helps to release the feeling but it don't really give me out the answers to the questions i have.

i know how brain stimulation gives me the rush and having the lack of it for quite sometime now and being able to quench the thirst, i'm all giddy..

waaaah!!

for all the types of emotion that may apply to that applies to me now. the loneliness, happiness and insanity all rolled inside my chest. but the freaky part is that the happiness is the one that seems to be surfacing. this is scary even. oops, add fear! hahahah!

i'm used to things not going my way. i won't be surprised if all would just end up as a big pile of heap. so, there.

i would need time on my own. time to live for me for once. but of course if someone would like to come with me, i believe hearts will always have room for people. right?!?

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proof

inbox

thanks 4 getting my mind off things. btw, i'l be able to close everything today, and hopefully, you'll be ther with me to open a new chapter. take care din po..

don't be mad, pero di ako nakapagreply kasi i fell asleep, and i appreciate your honesty. there's nothing that would make me happier than to be with you. and only you.

let's keep this between us for now ok? i hope when you read these messages you'll think of me as someone who'll be there for you, i want a new chapter and i want you to be with me.

sent

dude, i just hope you don't get confused on what you really feel and what you really want. You just broke up. You had a number of years shared. I'd be happy to start a new chapter with you, but i can't have anything with you if you're still not certain with what you want. No hard feelings. No strings attached. I've got my own baggage. I'd just want you to be happy.. Promise.

I'm not here to mess up your mind or your feelings.. I'm just here for you.. Whatever you'd want to do with it would be under your discretion.

You promised you'd reply. You didn't. I'm not the type of person who has that much confidence who'd think that another person would appreciate me as i am. I'm taking a risk and so are you. If you're not ready to jump, how much more me. I've been tired of mind games. All i ask for is truth and honesty. Nothing more. I've been hurt a lot of times and sometimes i believe i'm numb. But there's nothing i can do. Maybe i'm just someone you'd appreciate when i'm there, but when i am, there's nothing really different.

I Should Tell You Lyrics

ROGER
I should tell you I'm disaster
I forget how to begin it

MIMI
Let's just make this part go faster
I have yet - to be in it
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell I blew the candle out just to get back in

ROGER
I'd forgotten how to smile until your candle burned my skin

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

BOTH
I should tell you,
Well here we go
Now we-

MIMI
Oh no

ROGER
I know - this something is, here goes-

MIMI
Here goes

ROGER
Guess so, it's starting to-
Who knows-

MIMI
Who knows

BOTH
Who knows where?
Who goes there?
Who knows?
Here goes?
Trusting desire - starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging - a shoulder a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins
So here we go now we-

ROGER
Oh no

MIMI
I know

ROGER
Oh no

BOTH
Who knows where - who goes there?
Here goes-
Here goes-
Here goes-
Here goes-
Here goes-
Here goes-

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hmpf!

i had something written already..

and i closed it accidentally without posting..

this just proves that i picked the right song for the day..

Bad Day
Daniel Powter

Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carrying on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes on the blink and the whole thing it turns out
Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that
Strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does it feel, one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

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